Magnificent Century: A Cure for the Poison in the Harem
by Nessa Hathor
Summary: The Sultanate of Women began with the arrival of one russelana slave to the Topkapi Palace, turning the Ottoman Dynasty upside down in her wake. But what if one noble tribute arrived, one day, and took her place? What if the enchantment she had cast over Sultan Suleyman was broken by this slave, as a last resort to turn him back to the right path?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

The only certainty in life is death.

This is the conclusion I came to, long ago. Some would say I was fortunate to have lived such long, prosperous life. But those are the ones blinded by the beauty of gold and palaces furnished with richly carved thrones and covered in the finest iznik tiles. Those do not see the price brought by attaining power and prestige. How the Persian rugs covering the marble floors and tapestries hanging proudly in the halls hide blood spilled from servants and princes alike. How the beautifully carved fountains of the gardens, with their melodic waters carry the bitter tears of the women serving in the Harem and the Viziers serving the Sultan. I do, I see it all, even hidden as they are. In my quest for supremacy within the Topkapi Palace, I have known victories and defeats, joy and bitterness. In my love for the Lord of Life, the Padishah, Suleyman, I have seen atrocities committed. I, myself, ordered some to be done. I am not proud of my path, but it was the only path to be taken. For the moment you lower your guard in this beautiful place that is the Ottoman Harem, you will lose all.

I was one of the kadins of the Sultan, a noble tribute from a Catholic Lord to his new suzerain, another addition to the already overflowing seraglio. I was brought as the alternative to the one poisoning the Lord of Life against his own family and friends. I was to turn our lord back to the golden path of Allah and protect him, and myself, from the poisonous viper within the Harem.

I am Haseki Mihrişah Sultan, the alternative to the russelana Hürrem Sultan.

* * *

I barely remember how I came to this life. So long ago it seems, but I do recall, clearly, the day I was taken from my family. My father, Catholic Lord under the leadership of Catholic King Louis, lost the battle against the infidel Ottomans, the conquering force some say were summoned by the Devil himself. Having lost the Battle of Mohács, he had no other choice but to swear fealty to the Sultan Suleyman, for the sake of our family and his people. But it came with great sacrifice, for I was chosen as tribute to the Sultan.

Chosen…more like stolen. But taken nonetheless. I saw my half-sisters and my dearest brother one last time, as they dragged me out of my mother's arms, and to the midst of their retreating army. The shock and sorrow of being torn from my family and the only home I had ever known blocked my memories of the journey through Europe, back to Istanbul. All I remember are flashes of colours and sounds without source. Everything else was buried in the sands of time. An older woman, taken for slavery was given the care of me on the voyage, ensuring I would survive. I don't know what her destiny was when we were separated and I was taken to the Topkapi Palace, but I pray she was well taken care of.

My first memories of the Topkapi Palace were halls. Halls, endless halls and arches. Endless gardens and more halls. We are dragged through endless paths, to the part of the Ottoman palace where the harem is kept. I was still in shock, too dazed to have noticed the path, to memorise the path they were taking us through, not knowing I would be lost later on. I saw nothing in detail, the path in front of me blurred by my shocked state. At last I snap out of the daze, as I walk through the last open door, flanked by bowing, unmoving men, dressed alike, entering a large room, filled with women, both on the ground as the higher level. Reality sinks heavily in my heart.

 _I was a slave destined for the Sultan._

Countless other women and some men, roamed the halls and the big room I had been brought, all of their eyes on us, newly arrivals. They didn't try to whisper, speaking out loud about us in the language of the Ottomans. I knew nothing of it, so the words sounded foreign and their meaning unknown to me. Women dressed in the same grey and blue dresses, some dressed in beautiful silks and jewellery. Men in blue garments guarded the doors, heads bowed down. Unmoving. My shock was replaced by curiosity, at least for the meantime. My surroundings were clean and preserved, women taking turns in tidying the room and other various tasks I wasn't aware of. Above us, on a mezzanine level above our heads, forming a corridor to other rooms, stood more silk-clad girls, speaking loudly among themselves, eyes turning from their companions to us, below. We huddled together, frantically looking around, fearful. One of these women, accompanied by an older woman, carrying a short staff, and one of the men standing at the doorways, stood in front of us, speaking in Turkish among themselves. The older woman gestured towards us, and the two other moved in our direction.

"Line up!" The younger woman spoke, in a loud tone, without yelling. We didn't move, which irritated both her and the man, who kept making funny gestures. "Line up, quickly!" She dragged us, one by one, with the help of the man, until we were in a well-defined line, along the middle of the room. Pleased, the older lady began examining us, one by one. She pulled one or another from the line, and those were dragged outside. I trembled in my spot, holding the dirt-stained, ragged dress I wore ever since departing from my home. It had been my best gown, given to me by my brother on my last name day. I had cherished it…I was brought out of my thoughts by the older lady, who grabbed my chin, pulling my head up to examine my face. I didn't look at her, keeping my eyes lowered, on the bodice of her gown. She released me and continued down the line, to my relief. 6 more girls were dragged outside, leaving fewer of us within. The older lady spoke to the other one, who nodded, and left. The younger one gathered us in a small group.

"Come, follow me to the baths." She told us and shepherded us out of the room and down another hall, into a room filled with steam and no furniture. "Strip and grab one of these towels and shoes. Then clean yourselves properly. When you're finished, you'll be examined by the harem doctor." She announced, handing everyone the items, and grabbing the dirty and ragged clothes we owned. She handed these to one of her helpers. The others helped us bathe, by collecting water from marble basins with golden pans, and pouring the water on our heads. Soap was passed around. The feeling of being clean, for the first time in weeks, was amazing. It cheered me and the future didn't seem as bleak as before. As soon as I felt human, the woman called us again to form a line. This part was embarrassing and humiliating, for the doctor didn't check us simply for diseases…but checked also our most intimate parts. First, she opened our mouths, checked our teeth, nose, eyes and ears. Then our bosoms, armpits, arms. Then she forced us to sit and open our legs, and proceeded to poke and prod our woman parts, without one moment of hesitation. I was glad when she gestured me to go, for I hurried away to the rest who had already been examined. Once all of us were given a passing note, the woman led us back to the same room we had arrived, earlier in the day. "Find a spot to sleep, in the room next door there are bedrolls, blankets and pillows. When you choose a spot to sleep, we'll get you a chest for your belongings and it'll remain there." She showed us where the bedrolls were and each of us gathered one and returned to the main room. On a raised area to the side, hidden from the main area by sheer curtains, some other women had already placed their bedrolls and were preparing to sleep, while chatting among themselves. They kept throwing glances at us, so it was obvious we were the topic of their conversations. I ignored them, not only because I couldn't understand them, but also because I couldn't be bothered to be annoyed by gossiping women. I placed my bedroll down, prepared my blanket and pillow and waited in front of it. All we had on was the towel we were given. The woman came to us, more relaxed, by the smile she wore on her face. "My name is Nigar Kalfa, I'm one of the kalfas of the Topkapi Saraiy. You are slaves of the harem of Sultan Suleyman, and from now on, you will live here. This is where you sleep and eat, and spend your time outside chores and lessons. For now, you'll sleep and replenish your strength. These clothes will be what you'll wear daily." Other women, dressed like Nigar Kalfa, approached each one of us with a pile of clothes. "Put on the nightdress and get in bed." She ordered, watching as we discarded the towels, which were collected by the other women, and did as ordered. When we were all in bed, the candles were put out and the curtains pulled together, closing us off from the rest of the room. I could hear whispers all around me, stifled giggles and the sort. But I kept to myself. Fear still held me, for I knew nothing of what would expect me when the sun rose the next day.

The next day was filled with little more than us idling in the large room. In the morning, voices echoed through the once silent room and people began to move, standing at once and readying themselves for the new day. I followed suit, putting on the dress given, which resembled the same as the others girls wore. We spoke little between us. Nigar Kalfa came to us and ordered the bedrolls to be put back in place and tidy up the room. When we returned from the storeroom, the room had transformed, with low couches and pillows occupying the space where the bedrolls had once been. Low, round tables were scattered, filled with food. Girls, both the ones in blue and the silk clad ones sat at these tables and ate, while chattering away. I shyly sat with other girls who had arrived the same day. We kept to ourselves, eating little and trying not to be conspicuous. No words were passed around, nothing could be said and we didn't know whether we spoke the same languages. We simply remained quiet. At the end of the meal, the large trays were picked up and taken away. We stayed sitting, looking at one another helplessly. It didn't last long. Nigar Kalfa arrived, followed by a man in blue robes, with a funny walk. She stopped where we sat and clapped.

"Get up, up." She ordered and we did so, walking down the few steps from the raised place where we were lounging. "This is Sümbul Agha, he is the chief of the harem aghas, the men you see around here. You shall respect him and obey without hesitation." She was interrupted by the arrival of an older, more dignified woman, carrying a short staff. "Daye Hatun…" Nigar Kalfa mumbled her greetings.

"Good day." The woman, Daye Hatun, looked at us, scattered across the room. "Get them in line, it's time." She nodded and stood aside. Both Nigar Kalfa and Sümbul Agha sprang into action.

"Line up, girls!" Nigar Kalfa called, gesturing us new slaves to stand in line. "Come now, hurry!" She insisted, Sümbul Aga dragging the slowest to the group. Tittering favourites and common Hatun stood around haphazardly, watching a ritual that wasn't rare, during times of war. When the girls calmed down and we were lined up, Daye Hatun walked in calmly. She stood in front of our line, eyeing each one of us at a time.

"Valide Sultan has chosen a name for you." She spoke loud and clear, in a tongue we could all understand. "You will forget the one you were given before, and with it, your past life. This is a new beginning. What will become of you is now in your hands. Whether you rise or you fall, is entirely of your making." The speech was both incentive and warning, I realised. She then began walking down the line, stopping in front of each girl, looking up and down as if measuring each one of us, before uttering the new word that would replace the old name. So nervous I was, most of the names went unheard. I was at the end of the line, I was the last to be given a name. I trembled, nervous, for I knew what it meant, when Daye Hatun finally stood in front of me and spoke the words that would be the end of my previous life and beginning of my life as slave and concubine to Sultan Suleyman.

"You'll be, from henceforth, Mihrişah."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

With our new names established, we were introduced to the daily life of the haremlik. We were Cariyes, or imperial court ladies. For the first few days, we were given tasks to accomplish, either tidying up the main room, help in random tasks like changing the bedrolls, or one of the Mistresses of the household. One morning, we were told our Turkish lessons would begin immediately. Nigar Kalfa led us to the classroom where she taught us the rudimentary knowledge of the language. Older Cariyes and some of the Gözde, the kinder ones, often aided us outside classes, either with speaking, or our tasks. Through this, I became acquainted with Nilüfer, a Cariyes from the previous batch of slaves the harem had received. Fatma, Leyla, Halime and Husni were from my group, new to the daily court life and unaccustomed to the troubles and the language. The favourites, or Ikbal, we learned, were the ladies who dressed luxuriously in silks and expensive jewellery. Our lives were filled with lessons and tasks, having a bit to spare for our own devices. One of those days, we went to the baths, for relaxation and to clean ourselves after toiling the day away. Fatma, Leyla and I had arrived later, due to some errand Nigar Kalfa had sent us in the afternoon. I looked forward to bathing, I eagerly walked in and took a place near Nilüfer. She waved and smiled.

"I was wondering whether I'd see you." She teased, waving to Fatma and Leyla. Other girls gathered around her as they washed. I picked up one of the water pans and began pouring some over myself and Fatma, who giggled in thanks.

"You're just in time!" Halime said, grinning. "Nilüfer is telling us about harem life." Husni giggled, stopping in her motion of rubbing herself with soap.

"And Sultan Suleyman!" Efsun, another of the older Cariyes, scowled Husni, for speaking over Nilüfer, who had been about to restart her speech.

"Shhh, let her speak!" Efsun scolded, earning giggles from the other girls. "Speak, Nilüfer." Said girl nodded in thanks, smiling.

"As I was saying, at first, you have to attend lessons. You'll learn all you need to provide good company to the Sultan." Fatma waved away her words, gesturing, pan in hand. Leyla dodged the erratic pan in time, unbeknownst to Fatma.

"We have been told that already." She pouted. "We'll learn Turkish, both spoken and written, Ottoman history, poetry, music, dancing, other…arts." She wiggled her eyebrows while saying the last words, causing us to laugh outrageously. Other women using the baths at the same time eyed us suspiciously, others openly scowling at us.

"Fine, I'll move on." Nilüfer put her tongue out childishly, but continued. "Only when completing the training will you be considered Hatun. Then you can be called by Sultan to walk the golden path. Those who do, will earn rewards for providing good company and will be Gözde. Be called several times and you might be elevated to Ikbal and live in the mezzanine, dress silks every day and not participate in the daily tasks the Cariyes and Gözde must perform. If you find yourself with child and said child is male, then you are elevated further to Kadin, and can call yourself Sultana. As Sultana, you'll live in the Royal Wing and won't have a care in the world." We were all raptured by her tale. "But only Valide Sultan will choose girls to walk the golden path. She's the one who rules the Harem for the Sultan."

"Who are the Kadins now?" Fatma asked.

"Mahidevran Sultan and Hürrem Sultan." Efsun answered, giving Nilüfer no chance to speak "There are only two. Mahidevran has the first Sehzade, Mustafa. She's the Bas Kadin. Hürrem Sultan has Mehmed, Selim and Mihrimah Sultan."

"We see the kadins rarely." Nilüfer explained us as we bathed, aiding each other rinsing our skin and hair. Leyla tilted the basin she held over my head while I ran my hands through my hair. "They are reserved and tend not to mingle with us, only in days of feast and celebrations in the harem. They meet daily, but tend to do their own things. Mahidevran Sultan and Hürrem Sultan mostly stay away from the harem and each other's faces, preferring to spend their time solidifying their position and that of their children."

"And the Sultan?" Fatma asked, from behind Halime and Husni. She looked excited about the prospect of entertaining him and becoming one of the royals. Efsun laughed from where she bathed, as Fatma had told a great joke.

"You think you have any chance of ever walking the golden path?" She asked, disdain dripping from every word. "Don't fool yourself. We're here because we're slaves, you'll learn the ways of the concubines, then you'll do nothing else but wait until your years of service end to be found a worthy husband." Efsun shrugged. "Hürrem Sultan has the Sultan in her claws, almost no one is ever called to walk the golden path, nowadays." We all looked to Nilüfer, who confirmed Efsun's comment.

"It's almost impossible for anyone other than a kadin to walk the golden path." Nilüfer replied, sadly. "We're being taught for potential future husbands, I guess…" That dampened our already gloomy mood. A harem without use is the breeding grounds for trouble.

"We'll be here forever, without service or task, other than cleaning?" Fatma was aghast. Her face was twisted in disbelief and grief. I felt the same. To be stuck in the haremlik for the rest of my life, knowing no other life…Nilüfer giggled.

"No, silly. Women in the harem only serve for 7 to 9 years. After that, they are given a trousseau and married off, or given a pension and sent back home." Nilüfer shrugged. "Depends on your choice. Most just marry, others remain in the Palace as servants, becoming kalfas or servants to the kadins and the Valide Sultan." That brought relief to us, but my relief was short lived. What would become of me? Would I be married off? I can't see myself returning to my family. I would be cast off by the rest of the Catholic society, regardless of being here against my will.

* * *

Turkish classes took most of our days, in order to force us to become proficient quickly. During our tasks, we were encouraged to speak in the new language only, to force us to forget our previous languages. Once we had good grasp of Turkish, did our classes begin in earnest. I was amazed by the quantity of subjects offered to Cariyes. Besides languages, we were taught Ottoman history, poetry, music, other arts, and the Koran. All we were taught were the basics of the arts. Those who showed skills in particular areas were further schooled, for mastery in said area. The rest were given instructions in everything in general. I was taken for dancing classes, seeing as my moves were graceful and well executed, but I had no luck with poetry. I had excellent voice for reciting and singing, but no creativity to produce anything of worth. Our routine continued for quite a long time. Weeks passed, classes and tasks and gossiping were all that occupied our time. One day, however, we were called to order by Nigar Kalfa, while we dined. She called for attention and, immediately, our eyes were on her.

"Valide Sultan has called for celebration tomorrow." She announced, causing a buzz to rise. "She will announce the reason in the feast. Prepare yourselves accordingly." While people gossiped and tittered around me, Nigar Kalfa called me and few others aside. I was apprehensive, but she put us at ease right away. "You are to dance and play for Valide Sultan, Hatice Sultan and the kadins during the celebrations. You'll be excused from classes and tasks to prepare and practise. I'll trust you won't disappoint me." I nodded, mind going through all my movements I had learnt so far. Depending on the melodies the musicians played, I'd change accordingly. I couldn't allow myself to be distracted. Fatma and Husni were giddy with excitement and anticipation. Husni danced as well as me, while Fatma had a gift with the santur, playing sweetly, like her personality.

"I'm so nervous!" Husni trembled, voice cracking. "This is such rare opportunity." Fatma giggled, twirling around.

"Do you think the Sultan will attend?" Fatma gasped, suddenly thinking of the possibility. I shrugged, it was his harem, he could come and go at any moment, although he never did.

"Perhaps." I spoke, excited at the prospect of showing off. "But we should do our best, regardless of who's watching."

"Of course!" Husni agreed. "Sultan or not, an opportunity is and opportunity." We shared a mischievous grin and went back to our dinner, sharing the infectious good humour that took hold of the inhabitants of the harem. The night went by quickly. Sleep was shorter, as we woke up earlier than the other girls to prepare our part. First, we practised our music and dance. Around the middle of the day, we had a light snack and were told to dress up accordingly. We bathed quickly and went to the wardrobe area, where shared silk clothing and jewellery were stored for these occasions or when the Sultan called one of the Cariyes or Gözde. I dressed in a light blue dress, which would look like moving water as I danced, and matching jewellery. Husni dressed in provocative red, while Fatma wore a forest green silk dress. Nerves began to affect me as time approached. Fatma tuned her santur, Husni and I danced around one another, like water and fire circling. Eventually, we sat down and waited. The wait was short, for Sümbul Agha came to call and lead us back to the main room. Then we saw Valide Sultan and Hatice Sultan, already sitting on their divans, along with the kadins, Hürrem and Mahidevran, occupying pillows by the royal ladies. I didn't spend much time looking at who else sat in the places of honour. The musicians began playing, cuing us to begin our part. Listening to the flow og the instruments, I wove my dance according to the rhythm, and maintained a slow pace, to allow the others to keep up and not ruin our performance. Still, it was hard not to dance as I pleased. We continued like this for long, until Valide Sultan called for the entertainment to stop. I tried not to frown. Were we unpleasant to look at? I found the reason was one altogether different. Instead, we heard the reason we were called to celebrate.

"Today, I'm proud to announce my dear daughter, my Hatice, is expecting a child!" Valide Sultan gushed, holding her daughter's hands in hers in hers. Hatice glowed, irradiating happiness. "We shall pray daily to Allah for an easy birth and much happiness to both you and the child." We all cheered, and entertainment resumed promptly. In midst of my dancing, I noticed both Valide Sultan and Hatice Sultan staring directly at me. It threw me off momentarily, but I managed to recover. I wondered why I was under such scrutiny, I forced myself to block off all distractions, putting all my mind to the dance.

That's why I didn't notice the agha calling attention to the Sultan's arrival and I twirled around, ending up face first against his chest. He looked down at me, eyes twinkling in amusement as I stared up dumbly, until I gathered my wits and scurried away to the line of Cariyes, mumbling clumsy apologies while keeping my head down. I felt my face heating up in embarrassment, how could I be so stupid, I thought to myself. His hand touched my chin suddenly, pulling my head up to face him.

"You dance beautifully." He complimented me, before releasing my chin and going to his family. My eyes were glued to his back, shock the strongest emotion I felt at that moment. So strong were the mix of emotions, it went unseen the glares sent my way by the kadins, or the speculative looks I received from Valide Sultan, Hatice Sultan and Gülfem.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

As night approached, the celebration dwindled down until Valide Sultan called for its end, the Royal Family returning to their wing, leaving us and the kalfas to tidy up the common area. I exchanged the silk dress and jewellery for my daily uniform, and joined the other Cariyes in putting everything in order. However, upon reaching the main room, I was bombarded with questions, by the Cariyes of my group.

"Did he smell nice?" One asked, face eager and excited. The visit of the Sultan had left a buzz in those who had never seen him before. Rare were his visits to the harem.

"Was his kaftan as soft as it appeared?" Another shot above the chatter, cheeks pink with excitement and eyes shining with expectations.

"Did you do it on purpose?" Mischievous Nilüfer asked me, holding herself together despite the mirth shining in those light brown eyes. Even though I liked her, the grin was upsetting me and I felt like slapping it away. I threw her a nasty look, ignoring all other questions by the eager girls surrounding me.

"No, I didn't hear the call. I was too focussed in my dance." The chatter quieted down, as they all stared at me, incredulous. How could someone not hear the aghas's voice above all of that? I knew all too well they didn't believe my words, I shrugged it off.

"Well, on purpose or not, the Kadins didn't like the stunt you pulled." Efsun had approached us silently, some jumped in surprise. "You have managed to captivate the sultan and anger the two most powerful slaves of our harem." Nilüfer and I exchanged worried glances. To catch the Sultan's eye was such wonderful opportunity, and earns you the enmity of the Kadins. "Prepare yourself, their underlings will begin to approach you, in order to intimidate." Efsun, left, upon delivering the warning. Nilüfer and Husni exchanged worried glances, while I maintained a stoic expression, never letting on the fear clenching my insides.

"What will you do?" Husni asked, her fear was for me. Nilüfer shushed her, looked around and dragged us to the corner Fatma already occupied. She had been eyeing us curiously, but was too tired to join us. We joined her couch. I scowled at them, I had nothing to hide, but smiled to Fatma.

"I'll do nothing." I pointed out. "Our Sultan simply complimented me. Whether it meant something or not, only he can say. I doubt Hürrem Sultan will release him from her claws long enough for him to even consider calling me, or any of us." I shrugged, relaxing and sagging into the couch. The dance had left me drained, more so after the encounter with the Sultan. Despite knowing the second kadin held the man in her thrall, I couldn't help but daydream with the man who was the centre of our lives. But my words were true, the Sultan was mostly monogamous and showed no signs of changing.

* * *

I found out, the following day, who was the most unhappy by my interaction with Sultan Suleyman. Nigar Kalfa was all smiles when she entered the main room and approached me, while I broke my fast with Husni, Fatma, Nilüfer, Leyla and two Gözde, Meri and Şah Hatun. They woke up the earliest, from all other favourites. I found them to be kind, while they teased us for being simple Cariyes, they weren't as snobbish as many of the other Gözde and Ikbals. Nigar Kalfa's appearance at our table confused us.

"Mihrişah Hatun." She called me, still smiling. I rose and came to stand by her, bowing politely. I wondered what she wanted, so early in the day. "Hürrem Sultan wishes to talk to you." Silence filled the room for one moment, before the buzz of whispering broke all around me. I felt the blood drain from my face, my hands sweating from the sudden fear that threatened to consume me. I wanted to say 'no', but I couldn't offend her further, so I nodded and followed Nigar Kalfa out of the main room, throwing one last frightened look behind me, to the girls I left behind at the table. Nigar Kalfa led out to the halls and into the Royal Wing, where she stopped at an elaborate door, flanked by two silk clad servants. She knocked, and moments later, a voice called for them to enter, the girls opened the doors, allowing us to enter. Nigar Kalfa led me in, stopping in front of a raised area, surrounded by low couches of rich fabric, a metal table, beautifully crafted in the middle of the space. Sitting on the couch, closest to us, was Hürrem Sultan, with her youngest son, Şehzadeh Selim, happily gurgling on her lap. Nigar Kalfa bowed respectfully, as I did.

"My Sultana, I have brought Mihrişah Hatun, as you requested." I bowed again, respectfully, acknowledging her call, not daring to look up, my eyes on her slippered feet. I had seen her briefly several times, I didn't have to look up to see the red-headed lady, of pretty features made beautiful by the silks and the jewellery given by the Sultan and as prerogative as mother of princes. She was silent at first, measuring me. Maybe assessing whether I was worthy of fearing or a mere Cariyes who had luck.

"Mihrişah Hatun." Her voice was sweet, not a sweetness that came from character/personality, a creepy sweetness that meant she was faking it, purposefully. "Are you well? Does life in the harem please you?" She asked politely, in the same tone, as if she really wanted to know and cared for my answers. I was smart enough to understand it was quite the opposite. She cared less about me or my comfort. However, I would play along, for the moment.

"It is a shock, but we are all well cared for, the kalfas and aghas are kind enough." I reply politely. Then I shoot something that would disturb her. "As a noble tribute, I'm glad to maintain a reasonable lifestyle, close to that which I grew up with. I'm thankful for that." I schooled my expression, despite the insane urge to smirk. Hürrem was discomfited by my revelation. Had she been a Cariyes such as myself at that moment, my standing would be higher than hers. It didn't last, she recovered quickly, yet her smile soured.

"I'm glad to hear." She commented bitterly, no longer hiding behind a façade of polite sweetness and fake caring. She sat up straight, while holding the baby up, not flaunting him but making sure I can see she's the mother of Şehzadehs, while I'm a mere nobody. "Yesterday's celebration…you gave quite a spectacle." To anyone else, it would be a compliment, yet her deadpan voice gave away the hint it was anything other than a compliment. I bowed, as if recognising it as a compliment and accepting it, to her gall.

"Valide Sultan required entertainment, so I complied. I danced to the best of my abilities." I answered innocently, not seeing how the Kadin's eyes flashed dangerously.

"I meant the scene with our lord, not the dance." She hissed dangerously. The baby began to fuss, one of her ladies approached the kadin and took him away. She rose slowly, like a lioness stalking her prey. I remained where I stood, head down, not giving in to her intimidation. Whatever happened in that moment, all of the witnesses would indubitably take Hürrem Sultan's side. There was no chances of me fighting back to live another day, if things went down badly. I had no defence, all I could do was pray for the best. I felt her approach, towering over me and looking down on me, both due to her height and her status and kadin. "Do you truly believe a trick like that would get you anywhere near the Golden Path?" Well, no, but one could hope it would. "You are naïve if you believed for one second, Suleyman would be enchanted by a mere pretty face, throwing herself at him." She hissed as she walked around me, similar to the hunting lioness I had first thought she resembled.

"It was a mere accident." It was the truth and I couldn't help but defend myself. Nigar Kalfa said nothing. She wasn't even looking at us. Her eyes were locked somewhere in front of her. The scene unfolding meant nothing to her.

"I saw something that tells me otherwise! You did it on purpose!" I jumped, for she had yelled straight into my ear, leaving them ringing and barely able to hear what came next. "The Golden Path is closed to the likes of you. No one else will ever walk the path from the harem to the Sultan's room, without my consent. And you are not worth his time." She sighed and returned to her couch, plopping down ungracefully. "The faster you understand this, the better for you. Such disappointment can break your heart, it's better to safeguard it for the future." She said it kindly, the smile returning to her face, satisfied by her threats and feeling better with herself. She waved her hand, signalling the end of the meeting. Nigar Kalfa bowed, I followed her example before leaving behind her. As we returned to the main room, Nigar Kalfa gave me her own warnings.

"Beware of all you do and say." She was always kind to us Cariyes, despite being on Hürrem Sultan's side. Whenever she was free from her duties to the kadin and other duties of the harem, she would help us with our lessons and talking to us friendly. Hürrem was said to be cruel to her servants, especially Nigar Kalfa, but they said her kindness shadowed said cruelty. "The kadins protect their place and their children's inheritances. They tolerate no competition, even from each other. Whenever someone tries to rise, they work their magic to put them back down." She warned me, although the smile was sad. I wonder if she agreed with all this internal fighting? She suddenly grabbed my arm and I couldn't help but stare at her in surprise. "If you want to keep your life, you must be careful. And don't flaunt anything you receive, whether it is a compliment from us, or the Sultan's attention." She gave me a pointed look. "There's no telling whether yesterday's situation will get you anywhere near the Golden Path, the Sultan is unpredictable and so are the sultanas. Remember, do not flaunt it. Have someone at your back, in the case you become lucky." Immediately, I thought of Nilüfer. Husni and Fatma were good people, but unable to be as stealthy or subtle. Nilüfer, however, had already been living in the harem when we arrived. She was suited to help me, in the even Sultan desired to have my company.

* * *

Upon returning to the main room, my friends came to me, ushering me to the couches where they had been sewing and mending clothing. Their curiosity shone in their eyes, like gems under sunlight for too long. Smiling came easier around them. From the corner of my eyes, I saw Efsun rise from where she had been sitting, among Gözde and coming to sit with us. They all picked up their work, Husni giving me material to work on as well, from a basket sitting neatly at her side. I tried not to grin, feeling them tremble in barely contained excitement. I was quiet, beginning the stitches required to mend a particular hole on a brown silk gown, but the silence lasted few moments. Husni was incapable of waiting for me to approach the subject.

"Are you going to stay quiet all night?" She complained, and I giggled at her exasperation. "Come, tell us what happened." I looked up from the brown fabric, all eyes were on me, work long forgotten on their laps, waiting eagerly for gossip. I sighed, might as well speak.

"Nothing much." I said in a bored tone, concentrating on my stitches, trying to maintain an even and invisible seam. "She complimented me on the dancing and told me I'm not walking the Golden Path. Ever." I resumed the conversation in few words. There was not much to tell, no juicy details for them to dissect and discuss and comment. Efsun nodded, as if she had known all along.

"I had told you. No one walks the Golden Path without her consent." Nilüfer's expression was strange, she was crestfallen.

"I hoped you'd be the one to break through the russelana's hold on the Sultan." She sighed, sad that her hopes had been destroyed. I was confused by her remark.

"Why me?" I asked, wondering where that hope had come from, and hoping myself for clarification. She shrugged before answering.

"I had a feeling, that's all." And that was the worst answer I could receive. No amount of pressure would make her spill the details linking to the 'feeling' she had. She wouldn't budge. It aroused my suspicions, so I confronted her later, while we prepared to retire for the night

"Nilüfer." I used a stern tone, implying I wouldn't settle for half sentences, mere feelings and vague ideas. "You can fool the others, but I've watched you too long to know there's more than a mere feeling." Looking straight into her eyes, waiting, I stood there, unmoving. Willing her to share whatever she hid. She sighed, finally succumbing, and beckoned me to sit on my bedroll.

"No, it's mostly a feeling." She confirmed. "But, also, you weren't aware, Valide Sultan watched you dance very closely. Hatice Sultan followed your every movement as well. I wondered why, so I asked one of the Valide Sultan's servant and they mentioned both have been plotting something. What they are planning, she wasn't able to find out." I had been minding my performance, I did see them watching me but I gave it little importance. Apparently, it was more than watching. They had been evaluating me.

"Do you think…?" I wasn't sure of what to ask, Nilüfer understood my hesitation and shrugged.

"Only time will tell." She answered my unsaid question. I sighed and ended the conversation by getting in bed. Sleep eluded me, my mind full of questions of all kinds. I hoped the answers would appear when the sun rose.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

The following week was simply the usual schedule for Cariyes. Lessons, tasks, socialising, among the other Cariyes and Gözde, no drama or unusual events happening. We were bored out of our minds by the strict routine. Mahidevran Sultan would walk by our room frequently, looking majestic in her beautiful silks and sparkling jewellery. Sometimes, she would bring her son, Mustafa, on her walks. The Şehzadeh was a bright, cheerful boy, despite his attempts at being serious and mature, his true colours shone through around his mother and father. But his appearance at Mahidevran's side was rare, for he had his own lessons to attend, as heir to his father's empire. Hürrem's children were paraded more frequently. My guess was she loved to show off the life we dreamt of but could never attain, due to her hold on the Sultan's heart. Most of the Cariyes were mightily jealous and wished they had the chance to sway the Sultan and capture his attention, even for one night. I, on the other hand, allowed my life to humbly take place. Whether I'd be able to meet the Sultan or not…well, weeks passed lacking any summons or acknowledgements after the celebration's incident, I resigned myself. My friends were certainly disappointed, except for Nilüfer. She seemed to expect something to happen, never losing her faith in whatever she saw coming. I shrugged and went on with my business. Nilüfer's wait was not short, however, and did pay off. Over one month passed since the celebration and Hürrem's attempts to threaten me, when Daye Hatun came to the main room of the harem. We all rose reverently for the older woman. She was fair with all, regardless of status in the harem hierarchy. Our respect wasn't forced or fake. As Nigar Kalfa, she had power and didn't flaunt it. She was strict but kind and all, mostly the Cariyes, were grateful for it. Showing up in the main room wasn't a typical event, though. Her eyes wandered, searching among the curious faces of the girls. Until she looked at me and I froze. She slammed her short staff on the floor, mighty sound echoing around us and to the ceiling high above the mezzanine level. I came to stand in front of her, obediently, without waiting to be called. She was pleased as I rose from the courteous bow.

"Mihrişah Hatun." She called my name kindly but firmly. "Valide Sultan has summoned you to her presence. You will meet her immediately." It was an order, the same as Hürrem, but more powerful, second only to that of the Sultan. I bowed my head.

"As the Valide commands, I will obey." I replied firmly, obedient but not weak, my eyes staring at her, not as a sign of defiance, but as sign of strength, yet compliant. That seemed to please her greatly, for she smiled and beckoned me to follow her out. For the second time in less than one month, I was brought to the Royal Wing of the harem, this time to the more luxurious, grander area reserved to the members of the Dynasty. Ladies in silk stood on both sides of what I believed to be the entrance to Valide Sultan's chambers. Daye Hatun knocked twice, and the doors instantly opened, as if not waiting for the order to be given from inside. As if it was mere formality, she was given instant entrance. The rooms were glorious. The raised area for sitting and lounging occupied half of the room, with low couches on two sides, a large divan in the middle, reminding me of European thrones. Low pillows surrounded a low, metallic, intricate table, covered with delicacies and sherbets. On the divan, sat the two prominent ladies of the Dynasty: Valide Sultan, and Hatice Sultan, Suleyman's sister and Ibrahim Pasha's wife. On one of the pillows, sat Gülfem Hatun, their companion. I bowed deferentially, daring not to look directly to the beautifully dressed women in front of me, fearing they would take it as defiance. I was no Hürrem. Daye Hatun stood next to the divan where the Valide and Hatice Sultan sat, all three looking at me gravely, measuring me and finding me lacking, while Gülfem's were more speculative than measuring. I knew I wasn't the most beautiful, but my looks were appealing and my demeanour sweet and gentle enough (or so I had been told). Maybe too much for the hell that was the Ottoman harem. I had been brought up as any noble daughter, including some tutoring that wasn't usual for girls to be taught. But to handle jealous and scheming women…it fell outside my range of skills. I was learning, though. I was brought out of my thoughts by the Valide Sultan, who broke the silence finally.

"Mihrişah Hatun, you came as tribute from one of the Catholic vassals from Hungary, am I correct?" The Valide Sultan asked, although it was a mere formality than confirmation. She had to know all of this, for nothing went unnoticed by the one governing the harem. I nodded in confirmation, nevertheless. Valide Sultan turned to Daye Hatun, who held several folded letters in her possession and relinquished them to the lady. "These have been sent to the Topkapi Palace, addressed to one Aliz." I looked up, startled. Then turned my eyes back to the divan, trying to hide my dismay and fear. Who had written? Why had they written? Will they kill me for what comes in those letters? "Do you know someone of that name in the harem?" She asked, obviously amused by my reaction. If she was amused and not angry…

"I do not know anyone of that name within the harem, my Valide." I answered meekly, fear turning me from strong Cariyes to a meek slave. She chuckled and exchanged amused looks with Hatice Sultan, who, herself, tried not to laugh. I was stunned when one of the letters was handed to me by the Valide herself, with a compassionate smile on her face.

"Here." I hesitated, but took the folded paper and looked at her questioningly. She chuckled again and gestured to one of the pillows near her divan. "Sit and read. Don't worry, take your time." Even in my shock, I did as I was told and quickly opened the folded letter. Obviously, they had read it first, to make sure there was no threat against the Royal Family or the Sultan himself, or that I had been sent with the purpose of spying for the Catholic leaders. The words contained longing and love, though. Words from my brother and my half-sisters, whom I missed dearly. I couldn't help but shed some tears and giggles at the stories penned on the parchment, oblivious to all around me. In that small moment, I felt like I was back in my hometown, surrounded by servants and family. My half-sisters nagging me, my brother teasing me, mother's firm voice speaking to me the words written, father smiling benevolently, the way he would whenever brother and I came to see him. It was short lived, the fantasy ended with the signature of all my siblings. And my mother. My father must've been kept unaware of their letters. It wouldn't have been sent if he had. I was thankful to the Valide Sultan. She allowed me a small reprieve. There were many more letters in her hands, but I was given only one.

"Thank you, my Valide." My gratitude was too much to be put in simple words, to be allowed the small blessing of my family's letter. I crawled and kissed the hem of her dress, then brought it to my forehead, as token of my respect. I held the letter up, for her to take it back. I was sure they would be burned, for I was no longer Aliz, and they were no longer my family. But she patted my hand and pushed the letter back to me.

"Keep that one." She offered. "I'm sure you are aware we don't allow you to correspond with those that are potential enemies, even though they are our vassals. But nothing in these letters can be construed as treason. The rest will burn, but that one you may keep." Her kindness touched me, to the point of tears.

"Your kindness is as a shining beacon to me, my Valide." I didn't stop the tears from falling. "I shall forever be in your debt." I spoke fervently, cradling the letter to my chest. I rose, backing a few steps from the divan to maintain a respectful distance, wondering if I would be dismissed then. Instead, Hatice Sultan spoke.

"I'm glad." She said. Her pride as princess of the Ottoman Dynasty shone through every fibre of her being, through her words. "For we shall collect the debt. We have done you a kindness, we expect something in return." I nodded, accepting her request. They could order me, instead, they exchanged favours. Kindness could earn more loyalty than a mere order.

"Anything you require, my Sultana, I shall obey." They were pleased by my immediate acquiescence.

"Mihrişah Hatun, what will be said here must not leave the room, or else you and all who hear these words won't live to see the next sunrise." I shivered upon hearing Valide's words, but acknowledged her order with grace. She sighed and looked to Hatice, as if searching for words. Her daughter spoke for her, sparing her the task of instructing me.

"We have been worried by Hürrem's influence in the harem." Hatice spoke clearly, but in a lower tone, maybe fearing being overheard. I look to the lattice window to my right, where anyone could be listening in, but I doubt anyone other than the Sultan would do such thing. However, I can see why they worried. Hürrem held the Sultan in her thrall, which in turn gave her power over those living within the palace. It was dangerous, not only for the lower concubines, but for the Royal Family as well. Mahidevran had already suffered at the hand of the russelana slave, when she became the favourite of the Sultan, from her ascension to Ikbal and then Kadin. "She's causing too much mayhem, toppling the traditions and rules imposed by our ancestors. It is our intention to put her in her place." Hatice let her words sink in before continuing. "To do this, first we must turn the Sultan's attention elsewhere and hold him long enough to clear his heart and soul of her presence, so he'll see her for the disrespectful slave she is." I pondered over what I was hearing. They were searching for someone who could capture the Sultan's attention and keep him otherwise occupied, away from Hürrem's claws. It took me by surprise, so shocked I was that I turned my stunned gaze to the two women sitting in front of me. They didn't chide me for the breach of protocol or the disrespectful length of time I kept my eyes on theirs. I shook myself awake from the stupor and turned my eyes to their feet.

"My Valide…" I stuttered, unable to form clear thoughts from the surprise. "I'm not sure I'll be able to catch our lord's eyes." My words held no lies. Hürrem and her minions were everywhere, it was hard to catch the Sultan's eyes without them singing praises to his favourite and successfully distract him from any potential rival. "She is too dear to our lord for him to see any of us court ladies." Valide nodded, agreeing with me.

"We know this, which is why, if you accept our request, you will have our aid in your endeavours." She told me gently. Relief coursed through my body like waves from the ocean I used to play in with my other sisters. Long ago, in another life… "All you must do is make sure my Aslan's attention is on you and strive to keep it so. Siring more children is also desirable, but even then you will be required to entertain and distract him from the russelana." She explained.

"We will guide you to the best of our abilities, but you hold the biggest role in this: maintain the Sultan's interest long enough to cure him of Hürrem's poisonous presence." Hatice spoke bluntly. They had been on friendly terms, until she found out the slave had dared to try and get rid of her husband, Ibrahim Pasha, the Grand Vizier. She held no love for the slave and would gladly see her exiled to another, lesser palace. "Gülfem will also help you when I'm not here."

"You will be given permission to visit the Royal Wing as frequently as you wish. You can come to us for help and advice." Valide offered. "You have been to the harem school, and now I will teach you other things, invaluable information that may aid you in this."

"I will be honoured to receive such lessons from my Valide." Daye nodded, pleased by my respectful stance. "I accept this endeavour and will strive to please my lord and accomplish the goal you have given me." The room lost its tension and easy smiles appeared on all of the women's faces. Suddenly, one question popped in my head. It was a legit doubt and I couldn't help but ask. "What of Mahidevran Sultan? Will she support this plan?" I knew too well I talked without being asked, but I had to put the question on the table. Mahidevran was the Bas-Kadin, she had rights, we couldn't alienate her the same way Hürrem had done. The Bas-Kadin was embittered enough. More could cause further strife within the frail peace of the Topkapi Palace. By the looks the women exchanged among themselves, this had already been a topic of their discussions, and the answer was already been thought of.

"Do not fret over her, she won't interfere either." Valide assured me, but I had the nagging feeling it wouldn't be as easy as she said. She patted Hatice's hand, happy and relieved. I could see the reason they had been tense. Hürrem was a force to be reckoned with. The web she had woven over the harem threatened all of us, and Valide Sultan felt it in her bones. Now for the plans to attract Suleyman…

"My Valide…" I started, respectfully addressing her and pulling their attention to me again. "If I may, I'd like to receive more advanced instructions on dancing and other such arts. I believe it'll be a good starting point." I looked up to the silk-clad women, mischievous smirk on my face. Oh, this could prove fun, after all…

* * *

Fatma ran to me when she saw me walking to the harem room. Other heads turned to me but most just carried on their tasks, giving me little importance. Her face showed worry for my safety, usually a call from the Valide Sultan meant nothing good. I schooled my expression, or else others would be attracted and prone to eavesdrop.

"Are you alright?" Fatma asked worriedly, ignoring the looks we were receiving from other women surrounding us. Some of the favourites, sitting nearby, looked at us with a mix of emotions, ranging from curiosity to disdain. Some were friendly, others were openly hostile to all below them. I smiled back to some. "What did the Valide Sultan want?" She pressed, heedless of my cares to avoid being overheard. I shot her a nasty look, she wasn't good at subtlety, and approaching the subject right in the middle of the room attracted more attention than I wished.

"She simply wanted to speak to me." I answered, dispelling her worries, but feeding her curiosity. "My family has sent letters, but they wouldn't reach me, since I'm the Sultan's slave. She was gracious enough to allow me to read some, before burning them all." It wasn't a lie, and I had nothing else to say. Her face fell slightly, saddened by my tale.

"Oh, Mihrişah…" She sighed and hugged me. We missed home, unlike many others. As former nobles, we stuck together, and fended for ourselves, along with Husni and Nilüfer. Efsun was friendly towards us, but always refused being part of our group. Even being neutral in the harem war between kadins, we weren't immune to the taunts of both sides for wanting to stay out of the fray. Even after confronting Hürrem Sultan, I decided not to side with Mahidevran either. I'd rather make my own path, regardless of where it would take me, the Sultan's presence or the grave. I couldn't return home, so those two paths were the only ones for me. Speaking of Nilüfer, she appeared at that moment, silently questioning me. I nodded to her, smirking briefly behind Fatma before pushing the girl away, releasing me from her arms. I smiled sadly at her.

"My family is no longer in my mind." I told her. "They are from another time and place and I told Valide Sultan just that. She burned all the letters and assured me she'd write them back with assurances, and a warning to cease the communications."

"But you're a noble…" I stopped her then and there.

"Not anymore. I'm simply Mihrişah Hatun." I said, grinning. Then I turned to look at Nilüfer, who had approached us while we spoke, before saying my next words. "And, who knows? Maybe more, in the future." Nilüfer and I exchanged mischievous smiles, her face lighting up. Her hopes had not been in vain and she couldn't wait to gloat. As for me, I thought over the conversation I had with the Sultan's family and couldn't help but let out a low giggle. Things were bound to heat up, soon.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

"See? I told you." Nilüfer gloated, barely able to contain her mirth and need to dance in victory. Half victory, really. "They had seen something in you that night, by the way they watched you dance and the whispers they exchanged…" Nilüfer rambled on and on, I had tuned out of her monologue, pouring over the embroidery in front of me. I had been tasked on making as many beautiful handkerchiefs as I could, to deliver personally to the Valide Sultan and Hatice Sultan. I also participated in the embroidery of a kaftan, a gift to the Sultan to be given soon. I had been given other fictitious tasks, which were actually more lessons from teachers outside the Palace, who were whisked in secretly. I was glad Valide Sultan had ferreted out Hürrem Sultan's spies and managed to keep a modicum of secrecy, at least when it came to my lessons. Since I was terrible with poetry, I improved my voice, so I could either read or sing beautifully the words written by others. Some more suggestive dances were also taught by the best Egyptian troupe dancers, passing by Istanbul. The art of maintaining pleasant conversation was mostly taught by the Sultanas, during our meetings, while we embroidered the kaftan. They excelled when it came to the art of pleasant conversations, so I benefitted the most from learning directly from them. There was an added bonus, for it gave me clues of how the political status was of the Ottoman Empire and of Europe. In between the pleasantries, I could milk out several details. The continuous bickering of the Kings of Europe was good for Suleyman, giving him the chance to turn his sights to other war points. The Vatican still struggled against the threat of Lutheranism and Protestantism, which spread like wild fire through the Northern Europe. Despite the endless calls for Crusades, the European Kings and the Holy Roman Emperor were more concerned with battling each other and trying to stop the spread of their form of heresy. The Pope, as usual, kept his behind on Saint Peter's throne while throwing words here and there, calls for Crusade, requests for ending the feuds, orders to ferret out the heretics and burn them and their books for their sins. At least, in this aspect, the Ottomans were proactive. Their form of heresy was stamped out whenever they possibly could, to avoid the contagion from spreading. Well, Selim the Grim had. Suleyman had a more relaxed approach. From Valide's arguments, he was bound to go to war and destroy the Shiites himself soon. However, this didn't come to pass. Instead, Hürrem's hold on the Sultan was so powerful, he even allowed, more like ordered, his armies go to war without him, which was unheard of and heavily frowned upon, by both the Janissaries and the people. The Divan and Ibrahim Pasha tried to convince him otherwise. Hürrem, with her fake tears and sorrowful words, managed to sway the Sultan. From Hatice Sultan's words, Ibrahim despaired, for the lord was mostly concerned by his kadin's worries than governing his territories and commanding his armies, as a Muslim leader ought to do. Especially one who ruled such an extensive territory that was the Ottoman Empire.

"He doesn't even heed me when I tell him this is not proper for a Muslim leader." Valide Sultan complained, sighing deeply. The cares of both the harem and the Empire weighed on her. "He has always been too headstrong, I'm always uncertain of what he'll take into consideration and what he'll let go, when I give him my advices. It troubles me." Hatice saw the same happening with Ibrahim, her husband, who had been a companion of Suleyman for most their life. I had been silent through all of this, absorbing all the information for later use.

"Hürrem is the one he listens to." Hatice sighed. That was causing more problems than they had anticipated, for her interference went beyond the harem walls. Had it been another Ikbal, the solution would be to marry her off or off her in secret, while the Sultan was away. Unfortunately, her position as Kadin protected her from Valide Sultan's grasp.

"This cannot continue." Valide Sultan grumbled, which was unlike her. Hatice and I exchanged baffled looks but said nothing. It was true, the status quo in the Palace couldn't be allowed to continue. The Janissaries would, eventually, demand the Sultan to lead them. His public opinion would suffer immensely, plummeting and causing a more generalised grumbling. It would take plenty of time and effort to, not only catch the Sultan's attention, but also to gently whisper in his ear the right path, the path his father, Selim the Grim, had followed. The path all conquering Sultans before him had taken to form the Empire he ruled. Hürrem continued to strut around the Palace, as if she owned it and all those within. She behaved as if she were Valide Sultan. Mahidevran was more contained in her actions, but as Bas-Kadin, she had the right to rule over the harem, being careful never to try and extend her powers and overrule the Valide Sultan. That would cause her trouble, and she had already suffered enough due to Hürrem's scheming, from what the other girls of the harem had confided.

"She struck Hürrem, years ago." Efsun told in a low voice, despite being a widely known story, she was careful not to let her words carry to the next table. "After she suffered a miscarriage, she wandered off and found Hürrem Sultan, returning from the Sultan's room. No one really knows what happened, other than Mahidevran attacking Hürrem and leaving her bleeding. Valide Sultan tried to cover the incident, but Hürrem was crafty, and the Sultan found out." Efsun grimaced at the memories. "His anger was terrible. Mahidevran was lucky to have Valide Sultan defending her, she would've been exiled to the Old Palace, and forgotten." I winced at the thought of being bundled up and sent to the Old Palace. It was said to be filled with old women and disgraced favourites. A bitter end to those serving the harem.

"That sounds a terrible fate." I said, my grimace mimicking that of Efsun. Nilüfer scoffed.

"Don't worry, Mihrişah." Nilüfer patted my arm, confidence shining through every pore of her being. "With Valide Sultan as your supporter, you'll be safe." I nodded but didn't speak. In a place filled with conspiracy and backstabbing, I was unsure of how safe I was, even with the most powerful woman in the harem behind my back.

* * *

I had intended to run into the Sultan. I didn't, however intend for what happened instead. One afternoon, I had been keeping company to the Valide Sultan, while repairing one of her dresses, under her supervision. It had been a spur of the moment decision for her, I had been helping out tending to the harem jewellery, cleaning them or checking whether they were in need of repair. Daye Hatun came to fetch me, saying the Valide Sultan required my assistance. By now, word that I was favoured by the older woman had spread, earning me quite a lot of envy and dark looks from Cariyes and Gözde alike. Only those from my immediate group supported me, Nilüfer mainly. We talked while I sewed, light chatter to pass the time. Suddenly, Sümbul Agha ran in and announced the Sultan's presence. Valide Sultan nodded to me, a silent order to retire and return to the harem, I handed the dress and sewing material to Daye Hatun, bowed to Valide and backed out of the sitting area. But, as he climbed the few steps to the sitting area, I tripped on my dress, and fell…

…only to be caught by our lord, Suleyman.

I noticed strong arms caught me instead of the floor, on impulse I rose my eyes to meet his. Breath left my body momentarily, the realization of what had transpired sinking quickly. I rose quickly, bowing to our lord.

"Ah, Mihrişah Hatun, it's a pleasure to see you." He greeted me, amusement colouring his voice. I tried to apologise, stuttering my words, which were brushed aside. "No harm was done. I'm glad you're alright." He said, then gestured for me to rise. I saw his eyes shone, brightening his usual serious expression. "I haven't seen any dancer that can match you, so far." He mused, scratching his beard in thought. "I hope to see you dance soon." I bowed again, glad for the compliment.

"As my Sultan wishes, I shall dance whenever you call for my presence." It was a bold move, but I felt a rush of courage filling me temporarily. He grinned, pleased.

"Good, I'll see you soon, then." He gestured a dismissal, so I backed out of the room quickly, allowing my legs to sink after the door closed. 'I did it!' I thought to myself. The first step had been taken. Now to spread my influence as far as possible.

* * *

The opportunity to dance for Suleyman came not long after my…incident. Valide Sultan called for a private feast, just Hatice, Valide and Suleyman. Daye Hatun stood nearby, directing the servants and making sure no glass was left unfilled. Musicians sat in a corner, strumming their instruments lightly and filling the room with relaxing tunes, for the pleasure of our lord. I stood outside the door, awaiting the call for desserts and the entertainment to accompany them. Voices, laughter and music could be heard through the thick doors, I stood with servants, and watched with trepidation as they walked in and out, carrying large heavy trays of food and ewers of beverages. No one spoke, for it was not our right to interfere with the Ottoman family. Suddenly, I was awakened from my thoughts by Daye Hatun's call to remove the plates and bring the desserts. One of the girls, Faryhia, hurried out of the door.

"Mihrişah Hatun, it's your turn!" She said, beckoning me to enter. Taking a deep breath, I followed her inside. The three sat together, sharing smiles and words freely, oblivious to the presence of servants. But I caught their attention as I bowed, head down. I could feel their eyes on me. Not waiting for any order, the musicians began playing a slow tune, to which I matched my movements. I kept my eyes on the Sultan, while I danced, first slowly, then gradually increasing speed as the music evolved. I purposefully ignored the Sultanas and danced only for our lord. I was graceful in my movements, twirling and gesturing closer and closer to him. My smile was wide, and hurt to maintain, but dropping it in the middle of the dance would hurt my objective. So I made the extra effort. His bright eyes never left my moving body. And, when the music came to a close, I threw myself to his feet, head bowed and hands up, in a supplicant position. I stayed like that for some moments, until a hand grabbed my chin gently and pulled my head up. I stared into his eyes and nearly lost myself in their beauty. Suleyman smiled wide, clearly pleased by my entertainment.

"You dance beautifully." He complimented me, releasing my chin. His eyes were still on mine, I felt as if he was searching for something. He tilted his head to the side, an enquiring gesture. "So much emotion in your moves, I felt like you were telling a story." I smiled back, I couldn't help myself.

"It was a story, my lord." My voice was low and husky, further entrapping him. "A story only I know the words." He laughed, slapped his leg.

"Well said, my Cariyes. You must, then, tell me one day." I rose and bowed, waiting to be dismissed. Instead, he gestured to the pillow nearest to him. "Come and sit. Enjoy the night with us." Stunned, I could only stare for one moment before taking the seat he indicated. Valide and Hatice were clearly pleased, and never reproved us for ignoring them the rest of the night. We talked of poetry and some history. Since my hold on their history was still not complete, he revelled in enlightening me in parts where my knowledge was weak. I came to learn some of their laws, through him, for he explained some of their decisions by backing them with Muslim Law. I couldn't help but compare with what I knew of the Christian Laws I had lived under. They were different, I gave them that.

The following day, I was called early to Valide Sultan's presence.

"Yesterday's feast was a success. Suleyman was enthralled by you." I smiled, knowing all too well the Sultan had fallen for my trap. All I had to do now was keep him in my thrall. Valide was well pleased by my plot, even overlooking my disrespectful act, waving away my sincere apologies. "That is of no moment. My Aslan is well impressed and so am I." Her smile was a balm to my worries. "Now you must fight to maintain his eyes on you." Gülfem smiled to me as well. The first objective was fulfilled. The hardest part was what came next.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Word of my presence in Valide Sultan's private feast spread through the harem like wild fire, Servants talked, so did those commanded to attend the evening as entertainment, like the musicians. They were all brought from the Harem, and their eyes had been on the Sultan and his family all night long. They saw me dance, they saw us interact. Their words reached far, from the Cariyes, to the Kadins. If there was resentment before, it became worse after another token of preferment from the Valide Sultan towards me. More than once I heard snappy insults directed at me when favourites spoke to one another, not caring to speak in hushed tones as some did, while Cariyes were more frontal, demanding to know what I had done for such favouritism from the Sultanas. I shrugged and carried on with my tasks, giving little importance to what was being said, and giving them little as excuse to why I was set above the rest. Nilüfer was my pillar of strength, really. She stuck to me, throwing nasty looks to those who dared speak insultingly in her presence, causing her to snap twice when some of the more jealous Gözde were particularly offensive. Fortunately, neither kalfas nor aghas had to intervene. Another token of luck was the lack of offensive strikes by the kadins. For some reason (and I believed Valide Sultan had something to do with it), there had been no warnings or attempts to sabotage me from either Mahidevran or Hürrem.

"Wait for it, when they find a way around Valide Sultan, you'll find something unpleasant." Efsun warned, not bothering to lower her voice. Nilüfer glared, not liking the way the other spoke. Husni and Fatma exchanged worried looks. "And trust me, they will. Especially Hürrem!" We sat huddled around a table, working in mending clothing. Efsun sat frequently with us, yet defended she was not like us. We let her speak, giving each other secret smiles. We enjoyed her presence, as well as her sharp tongue, we took no offense in her words. She often sought to comfort us, although she did remain aloof most of the time. Efsun was Efsun, there was no help for it. We took her friendship in stride and worried little about her way of talking.

"Don't be spiteful." Nilüfer snapped, tugging at the fabric violently, in barely concealed anger. "Just because you're jealous, doesn't mean you have to openly wish her ill." I smiled at Nilüfer's bickering. She had good intentions, but I wondered why.

"She's not wishing me ill, Nilüfer." I chided gently. She was, after all, defending me, being harsh would accomplish nothing. "She's simply stating the obvious." I turned my eyes to Efsun, who looked embarrassed. She didn't expect gratitude, and, for one brief moment, I saw a shy smile. I took it as a victory. The more allies, the better. "Better be forewarned than being caught unprepared." A wise advice from one of my mother's ladies. I had never taken the advice to heart, but now, I wouldn't risk anything without having my back protected. Hürrem was an immediate threat to my possible success. She had the ear of the Sultan, in spite of Valide Sultan's attempts to dampen her power directly or indirectly. Hatice Sultan was on friendly terms with the russelana, yet, she was aware of the power struggles between her and several of the Sultan's loyal retainers and family members, even against her own husband, Ibrahim Pasha.

"Well said." Husni cheered, making us all giggle, disregarding the nasty looks our group received from everyone around us. We waited, eagerly inside but cool and indifferent on the outside, for the summons we were certain would come. In the meanwhile, I was called to Valide Sultan's presence, to serve her for one afternoon. Mahidevran Sultan visited, bowing respectfully before taking a seat on a pillow, all the while throwing dark glares my way. As befitted a servant of the Valide Sultan, even though temporary, I remained aloof and indifferent, standing slightly behind Daye Hatun. Gülfem tried her best to pretend nothing was out of the ordinary, despite the tension caused by Mahidevran. Valide sipped on the sherbet I had prepared for her.

"This is quite good." She complimented, smiling in my direction. I simply bent my knees briefly, in acknowledgement of her praise. Gülfem smiled up to me, and I smiled back.

"That dress is very becoming." She said, admiring the embroidery I had added to my silk gown. Hatice Sultan had gifted it to me after the feast, saying I would need a better outfit in case Sultan Suleyman called me to walk the Golden Path. It was a simple, peach coloured gown, with lace sleeves. It lacked decorative motifs, so I added them on my own, bringing the gown to life with flowers and birds. Since I only owned the one dress, I used it for the afternoon in Valide Sultan's chambers, in order not to look out of place as I would wearing the blue and white uniform dress Cariyes wore in the harem on daily basis.

"Indeed, you have quite the hand for stitching." Valide comments. "My Aslan was very pleased with the kaftan we gave him, and your work blended well with ours." Mahidevran looked up, surprised. She hadn't been called upon to participate in the preparation of the gift, Valide, Hatice and Gülfem had shared the work, leaving me a small spot in the bright silk for my work. I watched as they embroidered, only adding my touch around the end. It was fun.

"Valide Sultan, you let this slave to embroider something for our lord?" Her tone was respectful, but incredulous and resentful. I wanted to giggle, thinking we were the same, both slaves given by their families to the powerful Ottoman Sultan. In insulting me, she insulted herself.

"Yes. Her work in mending and handkerchiefs were praise worthy, I gave her a small task in the gift to my son." She confirmed, speaking lightly. She made no case of how she had left Mahidevran and Hürrem out of the gift. It irked the Bas-Kadin.

"She's a lowly Cariyes!" Mahidevran spoke harshly, glancing darkly in my direction. "Are you really going to replace me with this…simpleton?" She sneered, trying to get a rise out of me and failing miserably. Why would I give her the upper hand, by speaking back? Like the other women in the harem, I gave her no reaction she could use against me.

"The Sultan is the one who chooses his women, and you should keep your peace, for he's the one who has the say. Nothing you say will ever change that." Valide Sultan retorted, bad mood replacing her previous cheery demeanour. "I'm not looking to replace anyone." _Except Hürrem._ Was left unspoken. "And you're the Bas-Kadin. Your behaviour is unbecoming, Mahidevran." Valide's reprimand hit the target. Mahidevran lowered her head, submissive before the head of the harem. But from the look she gave me, I knew she wouldn't give up.

* * *

It didn't take long for the summon to arrive. The following day, as I sat among my friends in the harem, mending clothing and chatting briefly, after the morning lessons, a great commotion spread through the room, both on the ground floor and the mezzanine area. One of the Cariyes ran to where we sat, Nilüfer on the tip of her toes to look over the heads crowding the middle of the room, Fatma by her side, being taller than Nilüfer gave her the advantage the other lacked. Her eyes shone, grinning like a maniac.

"Mihrişah Hatun! He's coming!" She gushed, forgetting her rudeness in the excitement. "Sümbul Agha is coming!" Husni cheered, Efsun smiled, while ignoring the victorious looks from Nilüfer. They could hear his voice as he walked in, telling the women to go back to their work, stop acting like a flock of geese! I rose, seeing him coming in my direction, and the rest followed suit, to bow reverently.

"Mihrişah Hatun!" He drawled, in that peculiar way he spoke. "You've been called to walk the Golden Road tonight. Go and prepare." He turned to Nilüfer and the girl who had warned me. "You two are exempted from today's chores, you'll be accompanying Mihrişah Hatun this night."

"We hear and obey, Sümbul Agha." The three of us intoned together, watching him leave. Nilüfer squealed and hugged me tight.

"See, see? I was right!" She gushed, spinning me hard. Efsun hmph-ed.

"It's a start." I told her, grinning victoriously. "Now, let's go! There's much to do!" We bid the others goodbye and headed for the hammam. The girl, Metike, chattered happily, grateful for the chance, despite not being her called to walk the Golden Path, it was no light chore to accompany those who do. I was pampered, washed and perfumed, by Nilüfer, Metike, and two kalfas assigned to aid us. Since neither Metike nor Nilüfer knew what to do, it fell on the kalfas to teach them, and me (in case I was called upon to perform the same duty in the future) how to proceed in the preparations. Leaving the baths, Nilüfer ran to fetch my gown, while the rest of us went to the treasury for jewellery. I chose simple gold pieces, to complement the gown and not overshadow it. My hair was brushed to a sheen, then curled with heated iron rods in elegantly wrought braziers, carefully handled by the women, using thick towels and leather sheathes to avoid burning their hands. One of the kalfas retrieved a tray of perfumes. Small bottles for us to pick and keep, apparently. We delighted in the different aromas, bringing them to our noses and giggling. For a few hours, we forgot our worries about the harem and the upcoming event that would change my life. I forgot the anxiety and stress of facing Suleyman, the kadins, the world within the Topkapi Palace and enjoyed playing with my friends and the two smiling kalfas, who joined our makeshift little party. But it didn't last. Once we decided on the perfume, completing my ablutions was quicker than I imagined. I was served a small snack and sherbet, more to settle my nerves than fill my belly. I would have dinner with our lord, it would not do to go in a full stomach. I heard the commotion once again, in the main area of the harem. The kalfas rushed us out of the kitchen and back to the harem, where Sümbul Agha and Daye Hatun stood waiting for us. I was taken aback, it wasn't her duty to escort the women down the Golden Path. The older woman smiled upon us benevolently, as if to reassure me.

"Come, Mihrişah Hatun." Sümbul Agha called, moving nervously and twisting his own hands. "Our Sultan awaits his pleasure!" He beckoned us to walk, and guided our small procession down the halls. Daye Hatun walked by my side, a comfortable, calming presence I needed to ground me, lest I panic and run back to the harem. The path seemed endless, stretching into infinity in front of me. But, alas, we reached the door to Sultan Suleyman's inner sanctum soon. Ibrahim Pasha stood in front of the door, to my surprise, as a sentinel. We bowed reverently to the Grand Vizier.

"Mihrişah Hatun." He greeted, cheerful voice contrasting with the serious semblance.

"My lord Pasha." I murmured meekly, keeping my eyes lowered.

"I hope you find and bring happiness to our Padishah." He said, before he stepped aside, freeing the door. I swallowed hard. Daye Hatun's hand caught my arm. Another surprise.

"Be calm and respectful. Be yourself." She advised kindly and squeezed my arm. I bowed my head and thanked her for the kind words, following Sümbul Agha to the door. The Guards knocked and opened the doors, giving me entrance. I looked back one last time, before they closed the doors behind me again.

Suleyman's room was spacious, almost as big as the harem's main room. I must've looked weird, staring in awe at the elegant furnishings and beautiful Persian rugs littering the floor liberally. Candles burned in several places, filling the room with a dim, yet soothing light. A low table, surrounded by a myriad of colourful pillows surrounded it, and was covered with delicacies only served to the members of the Dynasty. I was so in awe with the room, I failed to see Suleyman standing by the door to the balcony, watching me in amusement. His chuckles brought me back to reality. ' _Oh Alah!_ ' I wanted to burn with the shame filling me, as I fell to my knees. Steps slowly echoed through the magnificent room, stopping when his feet filled my eyesight. I did the gestures taught in the lessons, reaching for a fold of his kaftan, brought it to my lips then to my forehead, releasing it right after. His hand tenderly tugged my chin up, and I took it as the sign to rise. He was taller than me, a head taller, I had to look up to see his full, bright face. His blue eyes twinkled merrily and I found myself smiling shyly back at him.

"My lord Padishah." I greeted in a sensual tone.

"The sun has risen for her lord." He recited in a low tone. "I was waiting for you, Mihrişah. You owe me a story." He gestured to the low table. "But, first. Let us eat."


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Suleyman led me to a round, low table, surrounded by cushions of multiple colours. Plates and bowls covered the table, carrying different kinds of foods. I lowered myself to sit by his side, only after he took his own seat among the cushions. The meal followed with small talk, a little laughter on both sides, but nothing out of ordinary. I was still in awe with my surroundings. The grand chamber amazed me so much I found myself throwing glances around, taking in as much of the details as possible. This amused Suleyman greatly.

"You are distracted easily." He pointed out, mirth colouring his voice. I whipped my head around to stare at him, feeling my cheeks burn from embarrassment. "Do you see something you like?" He prodded, teasing. I had the perfect answer. With a mischievous grin, for a good effect.

"Several things, indeed my lord." I told him, in a husky tone. "The one that attracts me the most sits next to me." My joke made him laugh whole heartedly, slapping his thigh for good measure.

"I'm glad." He told me, chuckling. "I cannot help but remember your dance. And how you spoke of a story unfolding as you moved, yet you kept it to yourself." I knew of what he spoke of. The only time I had ever danced in front of him.

"Yes, I deliberately withheld the story." I said demurely. "It was something my mind wove as the musicians played. Movements can also convey messages, dances can tell stories, as well as music. If you know how." His smile widened and I grinned back. Still, my eyes wandered. His chambers were rich in rugs and tapestry, beautifully crafted decorations and candle holders, but Spartan in its furnishings. A tickling sensation on the back of my neck told me Suleyman watched me with amused eyes. "Forgive me, I cannot help but enjoy the surroundings. They are breath-taking." He chuckled.

"I'm glad you enjoy, but I'd much rather have your attention." He reproached me gently. I blushed, bowing my head in shame. His hand touched my chin and rose my head once again, to look at him, his eyes hypnotising me. "Never look away, I wish to see your eyes." I had not thought it possible…my heart skipped a beat as I stared into his eyes while he spoke. They were earnest, gentle. It made me feel at ease, in a way I hadn't felt in so long. Then the spell was broken and he grinned. "You owe me a story." He brought me back from the little piece of Heaven we had created for one moment.

"So I do." I grinned back, coyly. He sat up, one hand holding a goblet while the other had reached for my hand. He squeezed it tenderly, giving me strength for the storytelling. I cleared my throat and thought back to the dance, remembering each gesture, each movement, piecing together in words what I had told through dance.

 _"Once upon a time, a humble farmer who took care of the lands on Allah, had a beautiful daughter, with eyes the colour of the clear sky. His much loved wife perished upon bringing such jewel to the world, thus the farmer loved her twice; one for the gift she was, another for the wife he lost. She grew a pure maiden, humble and modest in her demeanour, the most glittering jewel of the flock of Allah. But the girl fell deadly ill, and no physician could bring her back to health. 'Pray to Allah.' They would tell the farmer. 'For she is bound to leave this land soon.' Grieving, the farmer returned home. Upon seeing his daughter in such state, he went to where he supposed Allah would dwell: the most flowery and beloved park of the village, filled with luxurious foliage and the brightest and most exotic flowers. There, he prayed and beseeched for health to return to his loved one. Night fell and dawn returned, before he got to his feet and walked home, hope filling his heart. But Allah had not heard him. The next day, he went to the hunting park, where the most innocent and beautiful animals of Allah lived, and there prayed for one day and one night. Still, Allah had not heard his pleas. In his desperation, the farmer crawled to the desert, for, in his heart, Allah had deserted him. It fit, to kneel in the hot sand and suffer the burning sunlight. He crawled in penance for one day and one night, returning home with skinned knees and burns covering every inch of his exposed skin. As he walked in, his daughter greeted him cheerfully. Allah had heard him at last, and given him his most desired blessing."_

"That is beautiful." Suleyman spoke, voice low as if fearful of breaking the spell created by the story. "And makes us think." I smiled, happy to have moved him so much.

"How so, my lord?" I prodded gently.

"We say all beauty was created by Allah, we believe Him to be among things we believe are in His Paradise. Yet, we forget Allah is not only among beauty, but also where nothing grows. It can be said the same in times of hope and despair." I grinned.

"Indeed, we often forget Allah is there, whether fortunes smiles upon us, or disaster strikes. And believe ourselves bereaved and left to our misery by Him. Praying simply because we must pray brings nothing and will displease Him. We must always strive to give Him our heart, whether we are blessed or grieved." Suleyman gave me an odd look. "Did I speak something foolish?" I asked, feeling ashamed.

"On the contrary, your words hold much wisdom." He grinned and held my hand to his lips. "I'm glad to have such illuminated company tonight." The gesture sent shivers up my arm and down my spine. His eyes glowed with an odd light. He turned my hand around and placed a kiss on my palm, then my wrist, the inside of my elbow, all the way up my arm, my neck, until he reached my mouth. At this point, I was kneeling next to him, almost on his lap. But his kisses had wreaked havoc on my mind and I noticed nothing else but his lips upon mine, his hands wandering. New emotions rioted within my head, turning my skin overly sensitive to his touches. Wordlessly, he pulled us to our feet and tugged me to his bed, where we laid down and continued where we had left off. No words were needed. Our garments pooled around us as we lost ourselves in our emotions, I found myself contemplating, albeit momentarily, a new emotion towards the Sultan. And as I watched him above me, my hands softly touching his shoulders, I found myself not staring at an objective as I did before, but at someone I was learning to love.

* * *

Waking up the next morning proved interesting. For one, I woke slowly, only to find Suleyman watching me stir. It took a while to wake up completely and realise this, and when I did, I felt my cheeks heat up.

"Good morning, Mihrişah." He greeted in a low, husky tone. Images of the previous night flitted through my mind. "Was your sleep restful?" His question was polite, but his tone was cheeky, mischievous. Embarrassment coloured my skin, as well as my voice.

"It was, my lord."

"When we're alone, call me Suleyman." His request was surprising, and I stared at his face, uncertain. Was it wise? Yet again, I shouldn't go against his request, whatever it is.

"Very well…Suleyman." I smiled. He nodded and grinned, leaning in for a kiss. I willingly kissed back, and we resumed what we had tasted the previous night. I enjoyed each new sensation, savouring them together as Suleyman gave and took for his own pleasure. It made me crave for more, along the man himself. Maybe this is why Hürrem wants Suleyman for herself, sharing with no one else. I told to myself, in my mind. Who could blame her? After tasting this small piece of Heaven, neither did I.

Breakfast came late that morning, for we tarried in bed for a long time. Eventually, Suleyman dragged me to my feet and told me to wash up, by using his baths. Instead of sending me back to the harem, Suleyman called for Nilüfer and Metike and told them to aid me in washing. Surprised at this new development, Metike ran to the harem for fresh clothes, while Nilüfer and I followed an agha to the baths, which were magnificent, worthy of the Sultan. After I was washed and dressed, we broke our fast and went for walk in the gardens, while discussing several topics. I wondered, by then, if I'd return to the harem at the end of the day or on the following day. But this was not so. One week later and no one in the harem had seen a hair of me, aside from the Cariyes assigned to me, Nilüfer and Metike, Sümbul Agha, Ibrahim Pasha and the Has Odabashi, Bali Bey. Sultan kept me at his side, rarely straying away from me for more than an hour or so at a time. I was unsure of why. We took our meals together, strolled through the gardens while speaking of various topics, from poetry (from his poetic persona, Muhibi, to several popular poets he was inspired on), to politics. I amused him by talking politics, I doubted he took my words seriously. But I had surprised him for knowing so much about the European situation.

"My father, my lord." I explained. "He never treated me as a mere girl. My brother and I were taught the same things. Our tutor apprised us both of all new occurrences around Europe and the Ottoman Empire." I blushed under the fierce scrutiny of his unreadable eyes. He then grinned.

"An uncommon decision." He stated, pouring more wine into my cup and dismissing my attempts to stop him from serving us himself. "Yet, I find it praiseworthy to fill such beautiful recipient with important and interesting information." I giggled, grabbed a strand of hair and pulled over half of my face, to hide (unsuccessfully) my blushing cheeks. His fingers reached my hand and gently tore the strand from my fingers, tucking it back behind my ear.

"I enjoy learning, my lord." I told him. "After all, what are we if we do not strive for perfection?"

"That is a noble goal, even for a woman."

"All we have is for our lord." I bowed my head, fingering the embroidered handkerchief in his hand, one I had made and had been given to him by Valide Sultan. "All I learn, I hope it helps you in your affairs."

"Let it be so." He grinned and clapped his hands clean. He had finished eating and pulled me up to my feet as he rose. "The day is beautiful. We must enjoy the sun instead of willing it away inside the walls." I called Nilüfer to bring me a veil and Metike helped me dressing my hair. They followed behind us at a small distance, two aghas in tow as we descended to the garden.

The idyllic situation wouldn't endure. I knew it from the start. He had kept me for far longer than anyone could have thought, myself included. I had loved each moment in his presence, for he was a witty and amazing man, engaging and funny, making me fall for him little by little, with each word and each gesture. I wished to stay with him, but this could not be as I wanted. He would release me, to return to the harem. But I knew, from the morning he kept me in his room, my elevation was assured. I returned to the main harem area, trailed by a triumphant Nilüfer and Metike, where people waited to flock to me. I could see, by the look of Nilüfer's face, she could barely hold on to her joy and wished terribly to speak to me. Unfortunately, for her and the crowd waiting, Sümbul Agha allowed no such thing.

"Pack your things, Mihrişah Hatun." He ordered, shooing me to the area where my things were stored. "You are to move to a favourite's chamber, as befitting a Gözde." He announced, not surprising anyone. I was kept for a week in our lord's chambers. Why wouldn't I be elevated? Gathering my things took little time, even without Nilüfer's help. I followed Sümbul Agha to the room I would be sleeping in, which I would share with another Gözde, Ayşe. I inspected the room, in awe, but I didn't remain in it for long, I joined the others in the main harem area. I knew there was more than just the room, for my reward for the week of company to the Sultan hadn't come yet. Usually, women who walked the Golden Path received a pouch of gold for pleasing the Sultan, sometimes a jewel or two. People around me waited expectantly, while shooting eager questions. If one night earned a pouch and jewellery, no one could imagine what I'd receive for a week in the Sultan's presence. I had changed out of the gown, to the red and white uniform, unlike the one the other Cariyes used, and settled in the main area of the harem.

"The sheep returns!" Efsun teased. "Were you lost from the flock?" I laughed at her teasing words while Nilüfer scowled fiercely. I managed to see beneath Efsun's nasty words, she meant well, and sometimes, her words were meant to tease and not hurt. Nilüfer took everything at face value.

"Yes, I wandered through the meadows of Paradise, following my shepherd lovingly." I retorted, but smiling all the while. "Nilüfer, you need to settle down. The first part is fulfilled. And you were right." This helped calm the girl down. She nodded, a knowing look on her face.

"You managed something truly unique. But your trials are now starting." She was interrupted by the arrival of Daye Hatun and Sümbul Agha. The reward had arrived, a hush fell on the main room, as the two stopped near me. I rose from where I sat and bowed respectfully, ignoring the critical looks and whispered envy. Four aghas carried two heavy chests, while Sümbul Agha carried a large wooden box and Daye Hatun held a huge purse.

"Mihrişah Hatun, Sultan has sent these rewards for your success in pleasing him." The odd man announced, and Daye Hatun handed me the huge purse first. Then, he presented the box. "You have been elevated to the rank of Ikbal, and Sultan Suleyman has sent these chests as reward for your new title." I was stumped, oblivious to all the chatter around us, staring at the closed box I held. He elevated me again quite fast, too fast to my liking. Nilüfer poked me hard, breaking through my reverie.

"Say something!" She hissed in my ear and I realised they were waiting for me to speak. I bent my knees, grateful for all the bounty I received, as well as their kindness.

"Thank you, Daye Hatun, Sümbul Agha. Please convey my gratitude to our lord." Sümbul Agha smiled and ordered the aghas to take the chests to my room. I turned to Nilüfer and she smiled. No words were needed, she trailed behind them, to make sure everything would be there when I returned. I turned to Daye Hatun, who remained behind.

"Valide Sultan would like to see you, this afternoon." She told me, I had to keep myself from grinning. Predictable.

"As Valide wishes, I shall attend her whenever she calls for me." Daye Hatun nodded, pleased by my acquiescence and left. Husni and Fatma stood on both sides, staring at the box in my hand.

"Mihrişah! Open that before we die of curiosity!" Husni begged, hands twitching in the direction of the box. She dared not touch it without consent, kalfas were around and wouldn't take lightly the disrespect. I grinned and opened, to sate everyone's curiosity. Other girls edged closer, eager for a peek of the gift brought from the Sultan. It was a necklace and earrings, with rubies and emeralds, in a flowery pattern. Someone inhaled sharply.

"Those were handmade by the Sultan, weren't they?" I heard one of the girls asking (more like accusing). "They are similar to the jewellery Hürrem Sultan wears, most of them were made by Sultan himself!" Oh, were they so? I touched the pieces in wonder. To know the pieces were made within the palace, by our lord, made them all the more precious to me. And showed them all where I stood with our lord. An unpleasant thought crossed my mind. I had been elevated by our lord, which meant the kadins would see me as a dangerous rival. The struggle was about to start.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Valide Sultan had been more than pleased by my success. This was due to the fact that, from then on, Sümbul Agha called me almost every night. Sometimes, I returned late in the day, even the day after; others I'd return shortly after rising from Sultan's bed and breaking fast with him. It really depended on Suleyman's moods. Those days, he was cheerful, always kind, always attentive to me, his rewards plenty. He showered me with his attention and gold. Even books, whenever I slipped and mentioned longing for this or that book I had read in my childhood. My most treasured book was _Le Morte d'Arthur_. It was a rare piece of literature and spoke volumes of Suleyman's fondness toward me. Even so, I had my doubts. And, without me noticing, a month went by quickly.

"I'm unsure of what this means." I confessed to Nilüfer, as we completed our daily chores, speaking in hushed tones, lest we are overheard by the busybodies who would gossip about any little thing. "He calls on me, without sparing the days reserved for his kadins." The nights reserved to the kadins were violated, for he didn't respect the tradition, instead calling me whenever he should call either Mahidevran or Hürrem. Still, I couldn't complain, nor could Nilüfer and the rest of my friends. I'd share my rewards with them, earning me their utter loyalty. Others were envious of us, which could be a danger in itself. I could be facing opposition on three fronts: Mahidevran, Hürrem, and the other women of the harem.

"Be careful." Nilüfer warned me, echoing Efsun, which was awfully uncharacteristic of her. "Hürrem won't like the status quo and you'll suffer, no matter who has your back." She meant Valide Sultan, who was more than pleased by the attention the Sultan paid to me. I wondered if Valide Sultan had put Mahidevran and Hürrem under her thumb and kept them quiet while I did my part, but even if she managed to restrain Mahidevran, the Bas-Kadin still found herself sending Gülsah to threaten me. Or maybe Gülsah herself took the initiative, I couldn't say. It happened one afternoon, while I returned to my room in the mezzanine from another meeting with Valide Sultan, where Sümbul Aga gave me Suleyman's latest gift in the presence of all of the Sultanas, to Mahidevran and Hürrem's displeasure. Being a favourite had its advantages and disadvantages. Everyone was my direct rival. Even those professing to be my friends would be, at some point, rivals. The kadins were the biggest threat, especially the russelana. Hürrem was furious, even though I was another slave, my ranking was better than hers. I was noble by birth, while she was the peasant daughter of a priest, despite pretending otherwise. If I ever became a kadin as well, she would have to bow to me, in spite of being the second kadin, and that would sour her mood further. Back to the 'incident', I arrived to the mezzanine area, only to find Gülsah standing in front of the door to my room. Her eyes were on me the moment my feet touched the last degree, sneering. I stood quietly at the foot of the stairs, Gülsah walked up to me instead of waiting.

"You better beware, Mihrişah Hatun." She spoke in a disrespectful tone, disregarding the difference of ranks. I didn't take it personally. After all, I was expecting something of the sort to occur. Mahidevran was the first, Hürrem would come soon. Actually, I had thought Hürrem would be the first to threaten me. The first meeting didn't count, in my mind. I hadn't really caught the Sultan's eye at the time, he had been somewhat interested in me, but not enough for me to travel the Golden Road without Valide Sultan's aid. "Even if Valide Sultan supports you, you should take care not to overstep your boundaries." Her warning did nothing to me. I faced her completely, showing no fear, only amusement.

"Like you said, Valide Sultan supports me." I smiled, doing my best to corner her. "Do you think it wise to overstep YOUR boundaries? I'm above you, Gülsah. I can always tell Valide Sultan of this warning of yours." She gasped, I could see this was outside her expectations. Valide Sultan was my support, and I had her ear. Mahidevran Sultan's protection could only go so far, whereas Valide Sultan's word was law, inside and outside the harem. "I might not be expendable, but you, on the other hand…" I walked away, heading to my room without finishing my sentence. My meaning was clear, and, despite the lack of brains, it hadn't gone over her head. Mahidevran would hear this, and I hoped she would heed my warning. The sudden paleness of her face told me enough.

After the failed attempt to frighten me, Gülsah tiptoed around me whenever we crossed paths. She was polite, but not friendly. I hadn't said a word about the 'incident', not even to Nilüfer. Nothing good would come out of speaking about it, so I kept my peace. Mahidevran's eyes would sear holes on my back if she was able to will it so. I remained polite and respectful, and days went by, with Suleyman calling me more often than not to his chambers. We would talk about anything, he would mention politics and I would listen. If he asked me something, I'd give my honest opinion, taking into consideration all the information he would spill, conscious or unconsciously. I was unsure whether he did use any of my suggestions, but that was the least of my concerns. Hürrem grew riotous, as the Sultan shunned her company for mine. One particular event I could never forget came three months after my first time walking down the Golden Path. I had been called that day by Hatice Sultan, who had heard from Ibrahim Pasha that Suleyman wished my presence that night. As evening came, I walked at a slow pace down the halls, Nilüfer and Husni and two aghas behind me. In my hand, one of the poetry books Suleyman had gifted me, as reward for the pleasure I gave him, while my friends brought small trays of foods for Suleyman's pleasure. We walked in silence, so we heard the angry steps echoing through the halls from afar. I was unperturbed by the sudden appearance of Hürrem Sultan, walking out of Suleyman's room angrily. Her face held a nasty snarl, eyes flashing dangerously, even as we stepped away from her path and bowed to her. I would have continued walking after paying obeisance, had she not grabbed my arm roughly. Behind me Nilüfer bristled at the rough handling by the second Kadin, but had enough sense not to make a scene. The consequences would be worse for her than for me.

"Where do you think you're going, Hatun?" She demanded, cold and furious at my sight. I wondered why she was so angry, but, then again, everything seemed to anger Hürrem easily enough these days. And, because I was feeling petty, I smiled brightly.

"My lord requested my company today. Again." Needling Hürrem was never smart. But we were close to Suleyman, the aghas and guards at his door were deterrents to her wicked actions. "I've come as he bid me." I wondered if it was possible for her to be angrier than she already was.

"Suleyman is busy." She snarled, nails piercing my skin through the thin sleeve of my gown. "He won't see anyone tonight."

"Won't see anyone, or won't see _you_?" I asked, going too far. "He requested me, Sultana, and I intend to do as he bid. If he sends me back, then it'll be his words and _not yours_." _You're not in charge of the harem._ I wanted to say, but the meaning was there, behind what I had said. She would've spoken further, but Sümbul Agha's arrival silenced her. He stopped between us, and Hürrem released my arm, as if it burned her.

"What's happening here?" He demanded, eyes jumping between the two of us.

"Our Lord Suleyman requested my presence tonight, I had word from Hatice Sultan and Ibrahim Pasha. But Sultana told me to return to the harem." That last part wasn't completely true, but it was implied. Sümbul Agha didn't allow her to reply.

"Sultana, if our lord asked for her, then she has to go. Go, go!" He shooed me quickly, making me hurry. "Our lord is on his balcony. Perhaps you'll be able to cheer him up." The last part was whispered, unheard by everyone but me. I wondered about it, but not for long. The bracelet of precious stones on my arm came off quickly and found its way to Sümbul Agha's large hands.

"Thank you, Sümbul Agha." I whispered back, releasing his hands. I made sure to sweeten him, whenever he did me a kindness, for it guaranteed me his goodwill more often than not. Unlike Hürrem, I tried not to speak harshly to others of the harem. Honey attracted bees, more than vinegar ever could. He smiled, bowed and walked to where Hürrem stood, paralysed by the turn of events. He shooed her unceremoniously, not giving her the chance to see me turn the corner and walk up to the balcony. My entourage remained in the shadows, at the edge of the balcony, while I approached the Sultan and bowed deferentially, keeping my face turned to the floor but with the man still in my line of sight. I looked upon his figure, barely visible under the dim light of the candles surrounding the balcony. He sat on the couch, in an apparent relaxed position. But his shoulders were tense, hand clenched tight, deep frown on his face, blue eyes staring into the distance. I bowed and remained so, until he noticed me and gave me leave to rise. It didn't take long for him to see me.

"Rise, Mihrişah Hatun." His voice betrayed his annoyance. I obeyed and approached his couch, kneeling on the floor by the couch, at his feet. I looked up to him, using a pleasant expression. He sighed and closed his book, turning to me instead. "What do you want?" He was blunt, and tired. I smiled, not offended or hurt by his tone.

"I've come to see you as you bid me, my lord. Hatice Sultan told me of your wish for my company." I told him pleasantly. "All I wanted was to sit here, maybe read a bit by your side." I showed him the Latin book he had given me, but I frowned and reached his face, tracing the deep lines on his forehead, the corner of his eyes, with my fingers. His frown lightened considerably, lips turning up to a small smile. "You look angry, have I offended you, my lord?" I asked, wondering what had happened to leave him in foul mood.

"Nothing, my dear." He took my hand and rested it against his own cheek. His beard tickled my skin. "Today was a complicated day, but you've brightened my night." Even the dim light was enough to show the redness of my cheeks, Suleyman chuckled. I pouted, feigning annoyance at the jest.

"You enjoy seeing me red, don't you, my lord?" I stuck my tongue out. Was it impulsive? Definitely! Not thought out? Of course. I hadn't felt the need to be childish in a long time. Suleyman surely needed a little childishness. And it bore fruits. He outright laughed at my little play.

"Ah, my sun!" He chuckled, holding my chin with one hand, while the other still held my hand to his cheek. I had to giggle, both from the tickles and his constant chuckles. "You have brought happiness in your hands." My heart soared, falcon high in the sky.

"Happiness is all we should carry." I told him cheerfully. "For life must be lived with a light heart and bouncy step." He laughed, and pulled me up to sit by him on the couch. His arms surrounded me with warmth and tenderness. "I really did come to read, my lord. Reading in good company is double pleasure." I turned to my friends, who stood in the shadows with their burden and beckoned for them to advance. "Also, I wondered whether you'd enjoy a sherbet and sweetmeats, while reading." They put down the trays within reach and backed out of the balcony, disappearing in the shadows.

"You are very thoughtful, Mihrişah." He complimented me, as I handed him the sherbet and held one plate of sweetmeats, so he could reach them easily while we spoke. The tray returned to the side table, so I could open my book and enjoy it in good company, but Suleyman stopped me when he suddenly asked: "Do you know Zapolya?"

"You mean the Voivode of Transylvania?" I thought back to the time in my father's court, as he received the older man, once as he travelled through our lands for a meeting with the Archduke Ferdinand and King Louis, and another time as he had travelled to control a rebellious band of serfs, who had tired of the taxes and servitude and raided whichever village or town they encountered in their path. He had been kind, but distant, toward me and my siblings, but respectful to my parents, despite his higher standing. I had liked him well, and his tales of cruelty to those who betrayed him were very well known and brought fear to his name. "I have heard tales of him, as well as met him once or twice before." My reply was guarded. I wondered the reason of his questioning. But his expression was relaxed, even open, contrary to that of moments ago.

"After the defeat of Louis, I have been wondering who to rise to the throne of Hungary in order to control it for me." He replied honestly. "Zapolya never fought in the decisive battle against us, but neither did he align with Louis, despite his obvious past loyalty. If no one occupies the throne in the next few months, one of the Catholic kings will obviously make a move to secure it."

"With the Pope's blessing, I can see that." I finished the thought for him, scratching my chin in deep thought, ignoring his amused, twinkling eyes on me. "I do believe Zapolya would be the best choice, given he has an army at his disposal to defend himself from the Catholics, as long as you put him under your suzerainty. Choose his advisors and give him the crown, give him some leeway and you'll have a loyal hound to guard the European Gate for you, while you focus your attention elsewhere." My mind worked through the intricacies of political strategies. I enjoyed the game as I enjoyed a good book. But I knew too well my opinions were worthless, in the eyes of common men. Suleyman asked my opinion, however, so I felt free to offer it fully. I looked up, to see his amused expression and my heart fell. Did he think my words were those of a silly girl playing at politics?

"You are indeed wise, my sun." He praised me, reaching for my sherbet glass and sipping from it. I pouted at the jest, he knew terribly well I hated to share, but never denied him when he did so. "I was thinking if he was worthy of the place, but there is no one else of his standing."

"He can be worthy, if you take care with the assignment and lay down proper conditions to ensure your power over the area." I supported his statement with my own opinion again, causing him to laugh.

"Shouldn't you ensure your Catholic brethren's rights, my dear?"

"Why should I?" I asked, incredulous. "I'm not Catholic anymore, as your Ikbal, my lord."

"I don't deny you the right to worship Allah in your way, as long as you respect us." He told me gently and I shook my head.

"As I shed my life as Aliz, so did I turn from Catholicism." I shrugged. "Besides, living with you made me open my eyes towards their…foul behaviour. I do not regret shedding a religion that is not tolerant of others, as others are of them." The Muslim law was applied equally throughout the Ottoman lands, and Catholic were respected as were the Muslim living alongside them. Despite the head tax and the sort, they could worship at their pleasure and live freely under a protective ruler. Suleyman had his bad points, but he was a fair ruler, from what I heard and witnessed. "Why would I want to retain a religion that shuns others and enforces their beliefs with iron and fire?"


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

 _I must stop for a moment of my story telling, for my heart and soul becomes riddled with anger at the past memories of the second Kadin. For she showed her true colours to all, except Suleyman himself, blinding him from the truth. She was vinegar to the women of the Harem, while honey to the Sultan. Even Ibrahim Pasha was not immune to her bitterness and poison. One thing that has been true for long in the Topkapi Palace: A Cariyes should not presume she's above a Gözde, a Gözde should not presume she's above an Ikbal, an Ikbal should not presume she's above a Kadin, and a Kadin should never, ever presume she's above Valide Sultan._

 _Hürrem presumed she was above everyone. Even Valide Sultan._

 _To her, she was the heart of Suleyman and he belonged to her body and soul. And heart. And allowed no one to think otherwise. And he, the fool, permitted this. It infuriated me. I was the one working to move heaven and earth in order to return normalcy to the seraglio, and she stood in my path every single moment. I knew it would not be easy, yet, all was harder than I had anticipated._

The incident with Hürrem Sultan spread through the harem like wildfire. Word was that she was furious at the way I had behaved, and at Sümbul Agha, for advocating in my favour instead of defending her interests. Cariyes and Gözde alike looked at me and speculated whether I'd be in trouble or end up exiled to Eski Palace for upsetting one of the Kadins. Nilüfer sighed, she had been there to see it and was torn between annoyance at the way I had handled the situation, and pride.

"This could end up well. Or not." She warned me, again. I wondered about it myself. Valide Sultan had yet to call me to her apartments, so I figured it would be downplayed.

"She's lucky Hürrem Sultan hasn't tried to get rid of her in an active manner." Efsun scolded, pointing an accusing finger at me, midst sewing a kaftan. "You need to beware, Mihrişah. She'll cause you trouble soon enough." Oh, how I wish she hadn't cursed me. That same afternoon, as I walked back from the hammam with Nilüfer, cheerfully discussing some of the books I had received from the Sultan recently, we encountered the same Kadin we had discussed earlier in the day. Her pleasant expression soured immediately as she saw us bow. Hoping not to aggravate her mood further, I tried to move on, only for her to sidestep and put herself in my path. I felt cold seep into my veins, but kept my eyes down, while she glared at me with all the hatred she could muster. I maintained a pleasant countenance, smiling while feigning calm.

"Good afternoon, Sultana." Nilüfer and I intoned in unison, while she lowered her eyes, I stared Hürrem back. Allah knows why I felt the need to confront her, when I should have kept myself out of her sight and grasp. I chose poorly, in hindsight. Hürrem stared back, fury shining in her eyes. Her beautiful face was marred by the fierce scowl she wore every time she was unable to hide her true feelings.

"So, Mihrişah Hatun, do you believe yourself above me?" Hürrem slowly asked, her voice gentle, hiding a dangerous edge I could barely grasp. Nilüfer grew tense, grabbing my hand secretly and squeezing too hard her nails pierced my skin, warning me to be careful.

"No one is above Valide Sultan, my Sultana." I replied sweetly, not addressing her question directly. After all, I was under Valide's authority. She was referring to the incident where Sümbul Agha sent her packing to the harem while I visited Suleyman. "I do as the Sultan and Valide Sultan order." She shifted closer to me, in order to seem more threatening. Nilüfer shifted closer as well, and, stealthily, I grabbed her arm back and squeezed as warning. _Do not move._

"I'm Suleyman's wife." She gloated. _Not truly married, you're simply the mother of his children._ I wanted to point out, but I held my tongue. "You are a mere Ikbal. Don't get above yourself." She warned me. _As you do frequently?_ Again, I stopped myself from talking. Fear was a good way of keeping people on their toes, and she was used to getting her way around the harem. With me here, she saw someone she was unable to successfully bully. I wasn't actively insulting or blocking her, simply, I obeyed both Valide Sultan and Sultan Suleyman himself. And I didn't cower whenever we crossed paths, neither did I act offensively. Yet, she wouldn't respect my neutral stance, and the incident with Sümbul Agha was one of the moments I was forced to be offensive and defensive at the same time. At that moment, a poor kalfa was rushing by, carrying a large tray of foodstuffs, and frantically attempting to pass us on her errand. Unfortunately, that caught Hürrem's attention. With a wide gesture, the Kadin sent the tray flying, spreading the food scattering around the small courtyard, the plates clattering on the floor noisily. The poor kalfa fell on her knees, then stared at the ruined food and plate. Of course, we were surrounded by people, so they watched, aghast. Then, the Kadin turned to me, smiling.

"Clean it all." She ordered, smiling as if it were nothing. Nilüfer gaped, while the poor kalfa cowered nearby, staring between the scattered foods and dented plates, and the nasty Kadin. I, on the other hand, stared at Hürrem, one raised eyebrow. "Hurry, you don't have all day!" She gestured for me to hurry, her face back to the beautiful smile she usually wore in front of the Sultan. Nigar Kalfa, who was part of Hürrem's entourage, made to interfere, but Hürrem waved her away. "Nigar, don't bother me." She snapped, unkindly, towards the servant who bore deep respect to her. I hated to see the mistreatment Nigar received, from both Kadins.

"Hürrem Sultan, I have told you to stop this kind of attitude." She hissed to the second Kadin, who ignored the Kalfa as if her words were nothing. I sighed and decided against offending her openly, instead turning to Nilüfer, who watched me. I stared back and willed my decision to her. Apparently, she understood, thank Allah, as she walked to the tray and began the morose task of gathering the scattered things. I, on the other hand, helped the poor kalfa to her feet and exchanged few words with her, making sure she was well and unhurt.

"I told you to tidy up, not that low Cariyes!" Hürrem screeched, moving as if to strike me. Nigar Kalfa grabbed her. I faced her fully, angry at this petulant woman. The kalfa cowered behind and, at that moment, I cared less about disrespect and more about putting the woman in her place. _There goes my neutral stance..._

"Nilüfer is not lowly." I told her bluntly. There went my restraint. "She's a good friend and servant. I value people, unlike you. As for presuming to be above you, you should look at yourself first. You have been presuming your place is above all, even Mahidevran Sultan. Have you paid others their due respect?" I spoke in low tones, making sure my words didn't carry out of our hearing range. Nigar Kalfa was torn between stopping me and holding Hürrem back.

"You lowlife bitch!" She screeched again, hurting my ears. Nigar and Esma had a hard time holding her back from me, while I ushered the poor kalfa on, after Nilüfer had gathered everything and handed her the tray to take back to the kitchen in hopes of replacing the food. "How dare you to speak to me in that manner?"

"Who are you to disrespect people?" I threw the question back to her. "To disrespect Mahidevran Sultan the way you do so frequently?" I had been in the harem long enough to see how the two Kadins faced one another. Poor Mahidevran ended up badly, due to the perfidious way she was treated and how Hürrem misled Suleyman when it came to his Bas Kadin. And speaking of the devil…

"What's going on?" Mahidevran Sultan arrived at that precise moment, calm and collected, and curious at our small gathering. Gülsah was right beside her, eyeing us all suspiciously. We bowed respectfully, and kept our heads respectfully bowed.

"My Sultana, Hürrem Sultan tripped a kalfa and bade us to pick up her mess." Nilüfer bluntly put it out. "The poor kalfa was unhurt, but it damaged good plates from the kitchen." She kept on meekly, and I smothered a smile. Mahidevran looked at Hürrem with open disdain.

"Is that it?" She asked calmly to Nigar Kalfa, who bobbed a timid nod, knowing it will bring Hürrem's wrath on her. She was trapped, regardless of what she replied. "I shall tell Sümbul Agha about this incident. In the meantime, Mihrişah Hatun, will you come with me?" I was confused, why did she request my company? I nodded and told Nilüfer to return to the seraglio quietly. Mahidevran Sultan and her entourage passed the fuming Kadin, and I felt protected, surrounded by other Cariyes and Gülsah. It was a strange day indeed. The Sultana and Gülsah spoke quietly as we walked, never addressing me. Only when we reached her chambers did they turn to me. Mahidevran took a seat on her divan and looked up at me.

"Well, Mihrişah Hatun?" She prompted, confusing me. What did she want?

"Yes, my Sultana?" I asked meekly, which was very unlike myself. I respected the Bas Kadin too much, despite the fact she was my rival. I saw her as a person to respect and fear. She smiled.

"Why is Hürrem so angry?" She asked more directly, accepting the tiny eggshell-like coffee cup from Gülsah. She sipped the dark, hot liquid, her expectant eyes on me. I sighed.

"The incident from several nights ago, I believe." Might as well speak it. I wasn't going to be let out of the room unless she received the entire truth. "Sultan refused her company, as you are aware-" I needled, since it had been the most talked incident as of lately. "Sümbul Agha interfered, as I had been summoned and she was the one turning me away. It galled her to be replaced by an Ikbal." Mahidevran was highly amused. I can see the scene being payback to the horrendous woman who made her life hell for the last few years, replacing her completely in Sultan's affections. Now I held the Padişah in thrall, replacing the russelana and diminishing her influence. I tried my best to do it covertly, as Valide Sultan had requested. If it helped both Mahidevran Sultan and Mustafa, then it was good. Gülsah smiled wide.

"No wonder Hürrem Sultan is so dejected." Gülsah's tone was victorious. "I guess it's her just desserts." Mahidevran's glared shut her up.

"Well, either way, she's a Kadin." Mahidevran was not one to defend her rival, yet she knew if an Ikbal dared to oppose one Kadin, others could be tempted to do it to her. "She's to be respected. Remember this, Hatun."

"I try, my Sultana." I hated to whine, but it did come out without thinking. "She makes it hard to be pleasant."

"I know…" She sighed, sipping more of her coffee. "How I know…"

* * *

I returned to the seraglio, and the latest incident was already spreading through the girls of the harem. I was bombarded by questions, while some threw their opinions in the air. My closest friends worried what it portended, whereas others were more pessimist about my immediate future.

"You're going to last little!" One taunted. "Hürrem's going to have you thrown to the Eski Palace!"

"I doubt she's going to be that safe!" Another joined. "She's going to have you throw in the Bosphorus in a weighted sack!" Nilüfer hissed and threw a cushion at this girl, who simply laughed and threw another cushion to Nilüfer, but ended up hitting one of the Gözde. Shrieking, the Gözde threw her own pillow at the Cariyes, only to fail in hitting her target, striking her neighbour instead. With this, cushions began flying through the air, shrieks of laughter and velvety feathers littered the room, as they enjoyed themselves in a brief romp of pillow fighting. Too brief, but enough for Nilüfer to grab me and us both giggling as we escaped the battlefield to the mezzanine's relative safety. And while under us kalfas bellowed for them to stop and clean up, we shared a few giggles and sweetmeats I kept in my room.

"She didn't want anything of importance." I assured Nilüfer, who enquired about the Sultana's sudden request. "Just to beware." I didn't want to go into details, since there was little to the interchange.

"She's right." Nilüfer told me between bites. "After all, Hürrem still has the ear of the Sultan. If he deems her grievances worthy of notice, you won't last long here."

"I know." The gravity of the situation didn't go unnoticed by me. If Suleyman decided I wasn't worth the trouble, I could end up banished. It was an outcome I hoped we would never face.

* * *

Like many nights, I was summoned to share Suleyman's night. I arrived with one of the poetry books he had given me, which I had taken the pleasure to memorise and recite in the middle of our lovemaking. Suleyman enjoyed making me struggle to recite as we took our pleasure, a new game we had invented to spice up our intimate time. When I arrived, he smiled and pointed to a pillow by his desk. He was working on new pieces of jewellery and I enquired about them, watching as he worked for some time before I sat down, opening my book and reading from the page marked by a ribbon. Silence stretched between us, comfortably. Occasionally, I heard his tools clink, his 'hmm'ing noise as he examined the gems and the pattern, adjusting as he progressed in the construction of the earrings. Suddenly, his voice broke the silence, and I turned my eyes up, from the book in my hands to his serious, yet calm face.

"Hürrem has complained about your conduct." Suleyman spoke suddenly, his clear eyes looking up to me from the piece he was producing. I blinked innocently. In between choosing and locking precious stones on the gold settings of his piece, he continued, concentration never faltering. "She says you are disrespectful publicly and turned Sümbul Agha against her." Now she pulls poor Sümbul into the fray, how ungraceful of her.

"My lord, I would never presume such." With slow movements and a calm demeanour, I closed my book and focused on him alone. "I have tried to keep myself out of the struggle in the Harem. Hürrem Sultan, however, likes to antagonise others in public. Poor Sümbul Agha has not been turned against her. He is neutral in the harem. He obeys the higher powers and not warring Sultanas." I told him candidly. "I love you too much to cause trouble. And I love Valide Sultan too much to wreak havoc in the harem. You have both given me much, it would be a poor repayment if I caused any kind of trouble for anyone…" I lowered my head as if repenting for a sinless action. I heard fabric rustling and his hand was under my chin, pulling me up to my feet. I dared look at him and saw kindness and amusement.

"I'm glad." He smiled and placed a kiss upon my lips. I lingered, keeping his lips on mine for a bit longer. Lust filled his eyes. "My Kadins are to be respected." You mean Hürrem. I heard it in between the words, he wouldn't say it like that in my presence, for some reason.

"I would never dream to be rude to the Kadins. But I shall defend myself if I feel threatened." I warned and he grinned. He didn't reproach me. Nor did he warn me against it, which led me to believe he wouldn't be too harsh in the case Hürrem complained next time, unlike what I had previously thought. For there would be a next time, and we both knew it. Suleyman tidied his table, putting away the excess gems, then turned to me. I dropped my book on the cushion and rose to meet him by his bed. Gently, always gently, he took my face in his large hands and kissed me. First tenderly, turning into passion quickly, an almost bruising kiss. When he ran out of air, he pulled back and his shining eyes devoured me first. Hürrem was long forgotten at that moment. We fell to bed and I strove to make him think of me, only me, for the next full day. She would be forgotten for the near future. But I burned all to my mind. I would not forget.

 _It was, at this turning point, I realised there was no way of working around Hürrem. She was too big of an obstacle to find a way around her without displacing her completely. And, at that moment, she saw me as the true threat I was. We became the biggest rivals within the Palace._

 _I would have to act more directly. I had to get rid of Hürrem before she would get rid of me._


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

The more we faced each other, the more people talked about it. How I managed to ruffle Hürrem's feathers, and how Suleyman did nothing more than chastise me gently for provoking (although she would go out of her way to meddle with me) his second Kadin. As if he held great love for me, rivalling what he once felt for the other woman. In truth, I knew he felt something for me. Passion, fiery passion that burned bright in the moment, resembling a wildfire but was, in truth, a mere flame of a candle. It proved fleeting. This I could see very well, from the way Hürrem behaved, fiercely fighting any potential rival, or by the resigned sorrow etched permanently on the Bas-Kadin's entire body, but more prominently on her facial features. I feared becoming like them, so I tried not to feel.

But that was like trying to hold on to water in my hands. Or even air.

The more he called me, the less I could distance myself, emotionally. Suleyman's tenderness eroded my shields gently, using his love as the battering ram against the fortified walls around my heart. How he'd appeal to my intelligence, drawing me in with deep conversations on history or even his jewel crafting pastime. I wished to curse myself for allowing such weakness, but I did no such thing. I knew, deep down, it would happen whether I liked or not. I cared for the Sultan, he was a kind man if you were careful enough not to cross him. To love him was to curse oneself. But I was already cursed, even before I let myself love. By accepting Valide Sultan's orders to put myself in his path, it brought the enmity of the Kadins, as well as the envy of the women of the harem. By walking down the Golden Path, knowing passion in the Sultan's chambers, I faced a sea of whispers and degrading comments from everyone. I hated it. Nilüfer, Fatma, Metike, Husni were my rocks. My supporters and protectors, in a way. I knew this had a price, as everything else in the Topkapi Palace. And not all of them proved to be the trustworthy friend I thought them to be, at some point. But that came later on.

My life came to a point where I was feted as queen, knowing it was a precarious position. Without a child, especially a boy, I'd be another in the harem, eventually forgotten. But Nature couldn't be rushed. I went on with my life, more worried about surviving to the next sunrise than giving birth to another Sultana or Sehzade. Having Hürrem Sultan's constant dark glare following my every step, my concern was for poison to strike at any moment. I became paranoid of eating, which took little for Nilüfer to notice. When eating among the other women of the seraglio, I'd pick at the food, taking precaution of eating little of everything, in case one of the dishes had been tampered with. Sometimes, I'd wait a while and eat only from plates eaten by other girls. Nilüfer's eyes followed my movements, and I felt her gaze burn on my back whenever we were not together at the same table. One afternoon, she took me aside, put a veil on us and dragged me to the gardens, arms linked.

"What is wrong?" She asked, after nearly an hour of easy bantering and gossip. She had the look of one being cautious, trying to check whether there were spies from Hürrem nearby. I sighed, half leaning against her as support than anything.

"I'm deeply afraid." I confessed, spilling out my deepest fears. It was foolish, to trust someone in the harem without reservation. Nilüfer, somehow, would never betray me. This I was sure, above anything else. And she would prove this to me, in time. "Hürrem will, undoubtedly, make another attempt against me. I'm afraid of being poisoned as well." I told her.

"I haven't heard of Hürrem trying to poison us…" Nilüfer said dubiously. Of course, no one had died, so far. "Some of us have been falling ill, from time to time, but we don't suspect foul play on anyone's part. However…" She had a brooding look, gazing the well-pruned bushes in the distance. I waited with bated breath what she would say next. "She did…once, when Gülnihal attracted Sultan's attention, he gave her a sable neck wrap. It was beautiful and only worn by those of the Dynasty and Kadins. No one of lower status had the right to wear, even less possess such piece of clothing. But he gifted one to her, nonetheless." Nilüfer's gaze became troubled. "Hürrem must've seen her as potential danger to her position. She went mad when she learnt Gülnihal had been taken to the Golden Road, and beat her until Sümbul Agha and Daye Hatun interfered. In the heat of the moment, the gifted neck wrap was left in Hürrem's apartment. Hürrem kept it and went with Hatice Sultan to the Artists' workshop, where they were supposed to choose gifts. Instead, she took a bottle of a liquid used by the workers for finishing items. She soaked the fur with the liquid and gave it back to its owner. Of course, when Gülnihal put it on, the poisoned fur burned her face horribly. It worked for Hürrem's goal, but the poor girl suffered." I felt nauseous, Gülnihal had left the harem before I arrived, but the stories of her loyalty towards Hürrem were nearly legendary. Hearing her betrayal of someone so close to her for the Sultan's love…

"It's awful." I commented, holding my stomach in fear of emptying it then and there. I calmed a bit with Nilüfer's soothing rubs on my back, yet, I was disturbed by the story. "How can she do something so awful to someone who loves her?"

"It's quite easy." Nilüfer said bluntly. "Understand that many in the harem would walk through fire for the chance to serve in the Sultan's chambers. I've heard worse, from people who served in the harem when the past Sultans ruled." It chilled me to the bone to think it could happen to me. I came, knowing the overall history of Ottoman harems. I had grown complacent, believing I was safe from plots and betrayals and whatnot, I guess…

"Would you do it?" I asked impulsively. The question was out of my mouth before I could stop myself from asking. Nilüfer was surprised by the question, but her smile returned.

"Not to you, no." She comforted me.

"Why?" Such sincere reply brought out my curiosity. No one did anything for no payment. Especially in the place we lived in, surrounded by enemies.

"Because I believe you will be different. And because you'll be in a position to help us."

"You think I'd do that?"

"I don't think." She grinned. "I _know_."

* * *

One morning is particularly burnt into my mind. And Suleyman's as well. He teases me frequently over that, even though many years have past since then. I was awakened by the sudden urge to throw up. Fearful of soiling the bed and possibly Suleyman himself, I jumped out of bed and scurried to the nearest basin, where I noisily emptied my stomach. There's no protocol for politely and elegantly throwing up your bowels, so it was quite a noisy affair. Stealthily, Sultan Suleyman came up from behind, and gently gathered my long hair in his hands, holding it out of harm's way, allowing me to hold the basin steady as I finished my business.

"You should see a doctor." Sultan Suleyman said tenderly, as he rubbed my back soothingly, sympathetic expression adorning his handsome face. "You haven't been well lately." He commented. He was right, I had been unwell most mornings so far. But I gave no credence to the subject. After all, I would be well soon enough. It was absurd, in my mind, to be so sick when the sun rose, and well when the sun reached its zenith.

"I'll be fine in a few days." I told him, accepting gratefully the wet towel handed to me by Metike, who had been called in by the Sultan to aid us. The aghas brought another basin, filled with fragrant clean water, and I cleaned myself thoroughly, to rid myself of the foul smell of puke. He looked at me, scrutinising my (possibly) pale face and overall dishevelled look. I wasn't very tidy while sleeping.

"You look like a peasant woman who is finishing a day tending crops." He teased, brushing my knotted hair gently. I hissed as his fingers tugged a particularly nasty knot. Losing ourselves to the task, he brushed my hair while I helped him with thinner and nimbler fingers. He realised what he was doing when we caught aghas and Metike staring at us oddly. He chuckled and patted my head while I finished tending to my hair. "Now you look more like a Kadin than an ordinary peasant." My heart stopped there, and I stared at him. He saw me as one of his kadins? "My, what a pretty blush." He teased, caressing my cheek. "You should go, and do yourself a favour. See the harem doctor, you might have a nasty indisposition and need healing." This was a dismissal, so I stepped next to Metike and we bowed respectfully, before backing out of the room. We waited for the aghas to close the doors before she dragged me away excitedly.

"He loves you very much, doesn't he?" She asked eagerly, her eyes staring at the distance with a dreamy expression and a knowing smile upon her lips.

"Well, I do hope so." I answered aloof, smiling to cut the serious tone I used. "I work every night to keep him in thrall, not to love me is to mock my effort!" We shared a laugh, walking back to the harem so I could break my fast and bathe. The nasty wakeup call left a bitter taste in my mouth and I wished to rid myself of it. Since I had the day mostly to myself, I'd heed Suleyman's warning and see the doctor in the afternoon. It wouldn't hurt to do so, anyway. Hürrem, like many other days, paraded in front of the double doors to the common area with her growing brood. I ignored her and picked at my food, until Nilüfer brought a nice bowl of broth and flat bread. It enticed me more than any elaborate dish crowding the metal tables.

"You look like you need something simpler and filling." She told me as I nipped at the bread in between sips of the broth.

"You have no idea the relief this brings." I sighed happily, bringing out giggles from those at our table. Nilüfer smiled. "I'm going to the doctor after this meal." I told her.

"It's about time." She scolded. "What brought this change of mind?"

"Sultan did, actually." I answered sheepishly. "He worried I might have some nasty ailment."

"It would be wise to do so." Fatma agreed. "Hopefully, you haven't passed on to him." I shook my head.

"So far, it has only affected me." I defended, looking glum. I had hoped it would pass, but they were right. If I wasn't being poisoned, then this could be transmissible.

"Do you need company?" Husni asked shyly. I smiled at her offer.

"No, thank you." I would rather go alone, since they already had their tasks for the day. I didn't want to pull them from their work and set them back further. In the end, I would be fine and they would have to work the remainder of the day, before they were allowed to eat. "I'll be back once the doctor is finished." I rose and bid them goodbye, heading to the harem infirmary. At this hour, people were either busy with the meals or rushing around to fulfil tasks. I walked briskly, acknowledging people in my path. I was so deep in my thoughts, I entered a deserted hall unconsciously. From what I could remember, there was no one ahead or behind me. But, suddenly, from one of the doorways I passed by, jumped someone who grabbed me from behind, dragging me to the room from where they came. I struggled against a larger body, iron limbs surrounding me like chains. Once the door was closed behind the person, I was released. I stepped away angrily, turning to berate the one who had taken me by surprise, but words died in my throat. I couldn't believe my eyes. The man, standing in front of me, who dragged into the room we stood in, disguised as one of the Aghas, was my only brother. His grin went from ear to ear, pleased at his victory over the otherwise tight security of the Topkapi Saraiy. I was so shocked, I gapped like a fish, words dried in my throat.

"Surprised you, didn't I, sweet sister?" He spoke, arrogance and confidence in his actions permeating each word. That brought me out of my stupor.

"Are you insane?" I hissed, anger instead of joy clouding my mind. Fearful of being found, I locked the door of the room, before whirling around to face the idiotic brother I had. "What kind of fool are you?"

"The kind who came from far to save his little sister from the nasty claws of the Ottoman scum!" He growled at me, displeased by my lack of enthusiasm. "Do you really think I'd leave you here, in the hands of these people?" My brother had always been so intelligent, but seeing him in front of me, putting me in danger because he wanted to save me. Brothers were a handful, especially when they think their actions were beyond reproach.

"Why would I need saving?" I asked, vexed by his arrogant stance and gloating behaviour. His actions were more an inconvenience than praiseworthy.

"Because you were brought to the heretic's nest." He growled out, angry. The lack of positive reaction on my part was not what he had expected. I wondered whether he wanted me to fall in his arms, crying of joy for being saved from the godless hell my father had thrown me in. "You are my sister and you deserve nothing less than my utter love and devotion. It doesn't feel right to leave you at their mercy, when your place is at my side, as my sister and advisor. That's what we planned for us, and it'll be so, regardless of the obstacles in our path." His words touched me, but I saw the situation with clear mind and wide-open eyes.

"Brother…" I grabbed his hands gently, noticing how calloused they were, from the swords he used. "You don't understand. I'm no longer your little sister. I'm someone else. I'm a slave for the Sultan. A concubine. And I'm one of his favourites." I allowed the words to sink is, by gauging the evolution of his expressions. "I have no place among Catholic society. I'd become a pariah, if I ever tried to go back. I don't want to go back, this is my reality now." He was a stubborn man…I saw his expressions go from disbelief, to sadness, to anger, then sadness again. And, suddenly, his gentle hands became iron shackles around my wrists.

"You are my sister, do you believe I will leave you here?" His demeanour had darkened, his kindness, all good I recognised on my brother disappeared, leaving behind the angry wraith in front of me. Only then did I realise there were more changes on him than I had first realised. His eyes were dull, deep purple bags indicating lack of rest, hair and skin coarse from the lack of care, there were bandages peeking from under his neckline, indicating he was still sporting wounds from the war. It made me believe he had come for me right after the Ottoman army departed for Istanbul. It saddened me, but I was set in my path, and, despite a small part of me cried for my family and the assured safety of my old home, I knew too well I would never return, either alive or dead. There was no place for me in Christian society, who would've regard me as unclean, spoiled goods, unfit for any good lord worthy of his name. I'd rather remain where I could be cherished, even for a little while, and maybe have a baby for myself, when Suleyman's eyes wandered to another woman of the seraglio. I hardened my heart then and there, shedding all the sisterly feelings I held. It would do no good to have them tempt me from my path. I pulled my hands from his grasp and took steps back, putting some distance between us.

"You must leave." My voice held no warmth for the man in front of me, my eyes holding no spark of recognition. "You are an intruder to the Topkapi Palace, and I will sound the alarm for this invasion." Then my expression thawed a bit. "Brother, leave and don't look back." He growled and made a sudden movement to grab me. I dodged the first movement, but he was faster and bigger, catching me easily.

"It matters not! You'll come, regardless of will." He told me, putting one arm around my torso, locking my arms, the other hand on my mouth, muffling my protests. "All you have to do is comply and come quietly. Your will has nothing to do with this. I'm your eldest male sibling here. My word is law." This cannot be! I panicked. One moment of clarity was all I needed. I bit his hand as hard as I could while he spoke spitefully, and the attack made him yell mid-speech. I felt his arms slacking around me and shoved him away with the strength I could muster. "Ungrateful wench!" He yelled from where he had fallen. I turned around, before he had the chance to rise and do anything else, unlocked the door and ran out, screaming as I dashed through the deserted hallway. Aghas and kalfas appeared suddenly, as well as other Cariyes. Terror filled me at the sight of the aghas and I used it in my advantage. I held onto the first kalfa that appeared in my path. "Help me!" I wailed, making a pretence of looking behind me, as if I expected something to appear from the hallway I came from. They looked in the same direction before looking at me.

"What's wrong? What happened?" One of the kalfas surrounding me asked, concerned. I shook my head, trembling.

"A man…" I tried to speak between sobs. "A man dressed as an agha grabbed me and tried to drag me somewhere." I sobbed more, shaking in true fear. "He laughed…saying it was easy to get in and steal pretty things." I babbled, trying to sound mad with terror. The aghas ran in the direction I had come from, to intercept the intruder before he could escape. Shouts echoed around, people sending the Cariyes back to the main room of the harem, under guard, while the remaining aghas searched possible hide outs and hidden passages. Sümbul Agha came running at the beginning of the commotion, seeing the crowd gathering, shouted orders to kalfas and aghas. When Daye Hatun came to see what the problem was, she noticed my terrified figure and ordered the kalfa holding me to take me to Valide Sultan. I thanked her between sobs and took refuge in Valide Sultan's rooms. The fear I felt and used as façade wasn't for my brother to catch me. Rather, I feared my ruse being uncovered. My punishment would be terrible, I would lose my life to the dark waters of the Bosphorus, or maybe beheaded along with my brother. I didn't want to lose my life! Not to Hürrem's plots, not to the bostanji-bashi!

"What's happening?" The older woman asked imperiously, then rose from her divan, worried at the pitiful sight I must've presented. "Come, sit her here." She ordered the kalfa, pointing to the closest plump pillow to her divan. "Bring hot beverages!" She waved to one of her servants, who hurried to comply. "My dear, this ruckus, what is happening?" Hatice Sultan, luckily, was at her own palace, being too pregnant to visit her Valide with the same frequency as before. Gülfem was the only one attending the Valide Sultan.

"A man…" I managed to clear my voice, taking deep breathes to calm myself. In the ruckus, the fear of being found as liar scared me enough to give credence to my subterfuge. "Some man, dressed as one of the aghas approached me and tried to drag me out of the palace. I didn't recognise him." I sobbed again, this time fearful for my brother's fate, when they found him. He would be labelled a spy and…the thought caused me to cry hard. Through my tears, I saw Gülfem abandoning her pillow to share mine. Her arms encircled my shoulders and I turned to cry on her shoulder. The support calmed me momentarily, I was able to tone down my grief somewhat, whispering 'thank you' to the older woman. Valide Sultan, in the meantime, had commanded servants to bring her Daye Hatun and Sümbul Agha. Obviously, the knowledge that someone managed to break in was a serious threat. No one was safe until it was clear and all of the security holes were patched up correctly. Also, a breach of security of this magnitude would definitely reach the Sultan's ears and didn't bode well to those responsible for the security of the entire palace. It didn't make me feel better knowing, certainly, heads would roll, even if I managed to escape unscathed. I looked up to see one of the Valide's servants holding a gilded glass, smiling. I took the beverage and thanked her.

"This will be dealt with." Valide Sultan assured me, reaching over to pat my shoulder. I tried to sip on the beverage, but the liquid nearly caused me to gag. "From now on, try to have one of the Cariyes accompany you wherever you go, yes dear?" She patted my cheek gently, soothingly. In truth, it did nothing to soothe me. The guilt and remorse weighed upon me, as if stones were falling on my head, threatening to bury me alive. What would become of my brother, when he was found? What would become of me, if they realised our connection? Everything seemed to crash down on my head. The beverage had tasted like mud, bringing back the nausea that afflicted me in the mornings. My senses were numbed, terror and sorrow engulfing me in a dark embrace, taking over completely. Natural sounds were overwhelmed by this buzzing sound, hurting my head and ears, while air seemed too thick, making it harder and harder to breathe. Then I knew no more.

"Look, she's waking up!" A cheerful voice echoed in my ears. I felt drowsy and aching all over, no strength in my limbs. Hands reached to touch my face, hair. As my senses returned, I could feel my hands being held. Unconsciously, I squeezed lightly the tender hand holding me. More cheerful words passed, which I could barely register. The muddle of voices became clearer and easier to distinguish. The fog in my mind lifted slowly but surely, I opened my eyes to see a crowd around the bed which I occupied. Sitting on both sides of my bed, were Valide Sultan and Nilüfer. I half expected Suleyman to be there, but it was a passing fancy. Husni, Fatma and Efsun stood at the foot of my bed, behind Daye Hatun and Nigar Kalfa. The harem doctor touched my face and examined me before standing straight up and stepping back. Valide reached to pet my hair, smiling brightly.

"Allah be praised, child!" She enthused, patting my cheek.

"My Valide?" I asked tentatively, fearing my brother had been found. "Has the intruder been caught?" She shook her head.

"The news are better than that!" She spoke joyously, looking at the harem doctor. I realised everyone shared the same expression of relief mingled with joy. Nilüfer's eyes shone particularly bright, when the fateful words came out of her, changing my life completely.

"You're with child, Mihrişah!"


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

"I'm…pregnant?" I asked, wondering whether I was listening right, or my ears were playing tricks. Surely it was too much for Allah to grant me…right?

"Another child for the Dynasty." Valide sighed happily. "Ah, you have accomplished much in the little time you've been with us." She looked proud, being her personal project, so to speak, my achievements would be hers. "I'm sure my lion will be even happier when he hears this news." Nilüfer couldn't help but giggle.

"Yes, my Valide…" I couldn't help, my cheeks burned up all of a sudden, when I imagined Suleyman's reaction to this news. The happiness of the moment was dulled when Sümbul Agha arrived, expression grave. The good news were forgotten momentarily, bringing us back to the serious crisis occurring within the Topkapi Palace. Chills ran down my spine, fearing the news brought by the usually cheerful agha.

"The intruder?" Valide Sultan demanded, displeasure clear in her stance and voice. Daye and Sümbul exchanged worried looks, before addressing the older lady.

"Valide…" Sümbul began speaking, in that particular manner of his, as if trying to deliver the news without it sounding as bad as it was. "The aghas and kalfas are still searching, no corner shall remain unchecked!" He guaranteed, but his answer was understood without saying it. _We're still searching every nook and corner._ Daye Hatun nodded.

"I have ordered security to be tightened,. The Cariyes and Gözde are kept in the main room watched by several kalfas and doubled the aghas at every entrance. I took the liberty to send a message to each of the kadins and warn them from leaving the Royal Wing until the situation is cleared." Daye Hatun continued, numbering the steps they took, while the search continued. Valide Sultan nodded, pleased by their actions. Her attention turned to me. I must've looked dreadful, since she patted my hand gently.

"You shall remain in the infirmary for the rest of the day." She told me sternly, looking at the harem doctor while she gave more instructions. "If you are with child, then it is imperative you are safeguarded. You'll be here, and rest, recover your strength under the doctor's watch. Daye Hatun" Valide turned to the older woman with a serious expression. "I entrust Mihrişah to you. When she's better, bring her to my chambers, regardless of the meetings occurring at the moment." I nodded, smiling as the wheels turned inside my head. Whatever meetings she would have, I'd witness them all. This was another of those rare opportunities. From time to time, Valide Sultan gathered the kadins and their children in her chambers, a sort of family reunion. She enjoyed seeing her grandchildren, hoping also to maintain a modicum of control over the warring women. Mahidevran would behave as expected of her as Bas-Kadin, but Hürrem was less prone to maintaining proper decorum expected of the sultan's wives. I had never been called, even to serve. "Anything you need shall be provided. The child will be your priority, and everything else will have to wait." I realised she meant Hürrem and her schemes.

"I understand, my Valide." I bowed my head in acknowledgement. Pleased by my acquiescence, she rose and left, leaving me in the care of the harem doctor. Daye Hatun spoke briefly to the woman before heading out as well.

"I'll come to escort you when you are released." She told me warmly as she headed out. I couldn't believe my luck! In awe, I gently prodded my (still) flat stomach, wondering when I'd see the bump. The harem doctor returned to her duties, leaving me to my reverie. Finding out my pregnancy drowned everything else, the panic of seeing my brother beheaded for entering the palace, being accused of treason for simply being his sibling…nothing worried me for the time I was in the infirmary, digesting the news. I didn't even care when the doctor decided to keep me for the night, in order to monitor my health closely. Secure in the infirmary, I slept peacefully, like I had never slept before. Daye Hatun showed up the next morning, while I dressed up.

"Good morning, Mihrişah Hatun." She greeted with a smile. I bowed respectfully, greeting her back. "Doctor, is Mihrişah well enough to join us?" She addressed the smiling woman.

"I consider her fit to leave, but I would be more at ease if she comes from time to time, only to ensure a safe pregnancy." I had heard her admonitions to be cautious and what or what not to eat, the dangers of too much physical labour, and other warnings that may have gone in through one ear and out through the other. So the suggestion was not really anything surprising to me. Daye Hatun nodded in agreement.

"I believe Valide Sultan would suggest the same, we must ensure the safety of both mother and child." Daye seconded the doctor's idea, before bidding her good day and ushering me out. She led me through the halls, and when we reached the double doors of the harem's main room, we were surrounded by the other Cariyes and Gözde.

"Mihrişah! Is it true?" One of the Cariyes, Fehride, asked excitedly.

"Are you expecting?" One of the Gözde asked. They started chattering happily, not waiting for me to answer. I smiled, amused by their reaction and peeked at Daye Hatun, who remained silent and waiting.

"I'm with child, yes." I announced, hand over my flat stomach. "Allah willing, I'll give birth this Autumn." I realised then and there I had been away from my family for nearly six to seven months…seemed like another lifetime.

"Another child!" One of the Cariyes gushed. "The nursery will fill, this way!" One of the older Gözde scoffed at the girl's excitement.

"As if there will be many!" She sneered. "Hürrem Sultan doesn't like rivals. Be them children or the mothers!" Daye Hatun scowled at the woman, who shrank back at the glare sent her way. The older woman's imposing aura silenced the crowd of excited women, dampening the mood considerably.

"Enough. Valide Sultan is waiting." Daye scattered the congregation with one wave of her staff, ordering kalfas to remain vigilant. We headed straight to Valide's chambers and, once we reached the door, Hürrem Sultan walked up to us, Mihrimah Sultan and Şehzadeh Mehmed by her side. I bowed, albeit reluctantly, and smiled at the children. "My Sultana." Daye greeted politely, not that she liked the younger woman. "Are you visiting Valide?"

"Yes, I am greeting Valide Sultan. She will enjoy the visit of her grandchildren." Hürrem said politely, but her politeness couldn't hide her arrogance and pride. Daye nodded and knocked on the door. It was opened almost immediately and we allowed Hürrem to enter first, as befitting her position. Valide gushed over the children, who ran to her side and clamoured for her attention. Hürrem stood proudly, glancing at me as if saying _You'll never reach my level_ _._ How wrong she was! Daye Hatun bowed and walked up to Valide's side.

"My Valide, Mihrişah is here as requested." She announced and I stepped next to her. The older woman smiled up at me.

"How are you today?" She was solicitous, her attention half divided between me and the children.

"Better, my Valide." I caressed my belly fondly. "The nausea bothers me, but I'm anxious to tell my lord the good news." Hürrem looked around, from Valide to Daye, then to me, bewildered.

"Good news?" The question was polite but sharp. Apparently the news hadn't reached her and it gave me pleasure to tell her.

"I'm with child. Allah willing, Sultan will have another Şehzadeh." I told her sweetly, enjoying her face turn bitter. Valide watched us, amused by Hürrem's change of expression. She didn't rebuke me for saying I'll have a Sehzade.

"How nice." She tried to sound happy, but didn't make much effort in that sense. "May you have a happy hour."

"Thank you, my Sultana." Displaying gratefulness towards her words, I bowed, keepings my hands on my belly, relishing on the atmosphere of the room. Valide looked proud and amused, Daye smiled a little, while the kadin displayed a bitter countenance. Her unhappiness is the just desserts for bringing chaos to an already chaotic harem. And pay back for the lack of respect for everyone, save Suleyman.

* * *

Two days passed, and Sümbul Agha was forced to face Valide Sultan empty handed. I sat on a pillow, next to Gülfem, when Daye and Sümbul arrived, both looking irritated. Valide, who had been chatting and joking, sat straight and glared at the two standing before her.

"Well?" She demanded, her anger presenting itself. "Have you found the intruder?" My heart skipped a beat. Had they found my brother? Was he dead? Theories ran amok in the seraglio, despite the good news. Luckily, no one linked me to the criminal. However, they did whisper it had been a plot from Hürrem Sultan to get rid of me. She was the most suspicious person in the harem, and her history didn't go in her favour. Even Valide Sultan questioned on her potential involvement in the affair, but nothing could be proved. Hürrem had grown angry at the suspicion and stormed out.

"Whoever entered, has managed to escape before we tightened security, my Valide." Sümbul Agha declared, in his flamboyant manner. "Either that, or he was aided by someone within." They dared not accuse anyone openly. There was no proof, despite having the name in their heads. And I was sure the same name went through everyone's head at the same time. Still, I breathed in relief. Brother had left safely, nothing else mattered. Valide, however, was displeased.

"Such invasion is an affront!" She all but growled, furious. "I want to know how this happened. Where is the weakness in our security! And pray Sultan hasn't learnt of this." She threatened. Sümbul Agha put a hand on his neck, as if to protect it from the axe, which would definitely separate head from body if the Sultan ever found out.

"Grand Vizier Ibrahim has already found out and is currently interviewing aghas and halberdiers with the Has Odabashi." Daye said, somewhat disturbed. I guess she was one of the unlucky ones to face Lord Ibrahim's wrath. Valide rubbed her temples, maybe feeling the incoming headache. Once Ibrahim knew, then Suleyman would too.

"Do not slack security on the harem." Valide sighed, losing the impetus of her anger. She waved in their direction, a clear dismissal. But neither moved. Daye looked at Sümbul, who smiled nervously.

"Valide…" He began, to her annoyance.

"What is it now?" She barked. I wondered what could be so important for Sümbul to risk the older woman's wrath.

"Sultan has called Mihrişah Hatun to serve him tonight." He announced, his eyes settling on me. My heart skipped another beat, the good way. A silly smile rose and I felt a hand grasping mine. Gülfem was encouraging me, in her quiet, gentle way. Valide sighed and waved him to leave, so we three could speak. She was displeased, but resigned.

"I don't like the idea of you serving tonight." She said suddenly, criticising the Sultan's decision. "But he has ordered, so it will be."

"Is it you opinion that I shouldn't attend our lord?" I hazarded a guess, by the way she spoke of the subject. I had asked Valide Sultan her opinion, since her word, to me, was wise and all knowing. She was the leader of the harem and knew more than my lower, but noble, self.

"You must announce your pregnancy." She told me imperiously. "But I think one night, as long as you are careful, will not put the child at risk." She had obviously questioned the harem doctor prior to my awakening, no doubt, days ago. She took care of seeing all sides of the subject, and recognised it was a matter of time before I was summoned. No matter how important it was to impair Hürrem's influence on the Sultan, the safety of the future child was much more imperative.

"I shall endeavour to take precautions in my time with the Sultan." I assured. "I believe our Lord knows how to behave, once I tell him." She nodded in agreement. Suleyman had had several children already, the news would be welcomed with joy. He was not a bumbling fool of a husband, but a wise man who cherished his women.

"In our culture, a mother does not lay with the husband during the pregnancy." Valide observed, breaking through my reverie. "It is custom to safeguard the child. As you need to tell him, one last night won't be a problem." She said, before dismissing me. Walking back to the harem, I decided I had to make a statement, so I asked Nilüfer and Metike their help to prepare for my encounter. We were picky with the choices from my chest. We spread the gowns I owned around the room, pouring over my casket of jewellery in order to choose the best pieces and the nicest gown I owned. My ensemble for the occasion was a new gown of teal Bursa silk, recently finished by the harem seamstresses, along with long sapphire earrings, and a sapphire and ruby necklace, the latest of Suleyman's gifts to me. My hair was curled and a new perfume applied to the best points, so Suleyman could enjoy the scent while he covered me with his breath taking kisses. I was too nervous to eat properly, despite Nilüfer's continuous pleas to take one bite of broth and bread. I was unable to swallow anything, as my stomach was too unsettled.

"You must eat!" She insisted, holding the small tray in her hands in my direction. "You must keep your strength." I shook my head and took steps back.

"I'm afraid of throwing up on Sultan's shoes." I told her, half joking, half whining. Nilüfer giggled and put away the tray, knowing it was useless to press the subject further.

"Fine, as you wish." She walked around me and straightened my gown, fiddled with the locks of my hair, little things to disguise her nervousness. Then she stopped, stepping away and nodding approvingly. She was stalling, and so was I. "Ready?"

"Not really, but we should go." I told her. She would be my only attendant that night. We walked out of my chambers and descended to the main area. The girls surrounded us briefly.

"Good luck Mihrişah." One of the Cariyes called out, her words echoed by the others with sincerity. Nilüfer's eyes glowed with joy. I could see, as she had, they thought me as the one who would possibly give them the chance to be called to the Golden Road. I was one of them, unlike Hürrem, who strove to be above them at all times.

"Thank you." I was truly grateful for their words, but we had to go. Suleyman waited, and one should never make the Sultan wait upon us. Nilüfer squeezed my arm gently, a silent gesture of support while we walked. Ibrahim Pasha received us at the door. But something odd happened. Hürrem arrived just after us, forcing Nilüfer and I to put our backs to the wall and bow. From under my eyelashes, I watched her smug expression.

"Hürrem Sultan." Ibrahim greeted politely. She grinned. "The Sultan has called someone for company, you should come tomorrow." He warned, preventing her from entering unannounced. From her expression, those words didn't faze her.

"He will receive me!" She told him with absolute confidence. I bristled. It was my time! She's doing it on purpose! Sultan rarely denies her anything, even his presence! Ibrahim Pasha simply sent one of the Aghas to inform Sultan of her presence, and he returned as quickly as he had left.

"Sultan wishes Mihrişah Hatun's presence, Sultana." The Agha said softly, undaunted by the message and the recipient. Hürrem's expression grew riotous. "He bids you return to the Royal Wing."

"Liar!" She yelled, immediately losing her patience. Nigar Kalfa was among Hürrem's entourage, and when she tried to intervene, the Sultana gave her a chilling glare. She turned to the Agha and scowled. "He'll see me! Suleyman!" She yelled, trying to walk through the barrier the Aghas created to block the entrance. Ibrahim Pasha was also losing his patience, as she wouldn't cease her yelling.

"Aghas!" He snapped, and I feared the disturbance would reach Suleyman before the Grand Vizier managed to evict the kadin from the hall. "Take Hürrem Sultan back to her room." He ordered, and the Aghas from the entourage wasted no time to obey. Gently but firmly, they grabbed her arms and dragged her away, creating a disgraceful sight. The woman continued yelling, even after leaving our sight, her voice echoing through the colonnades back to the harem. Ibrahim sighed and gestured for me to enter, stepping back to free the path to Sultan's door. Both Aghas returned to their post.

"Thank you, Ibrahim Pasha." My head hurt a bit from the chaotic encounter, but I didn't allow that to stop me from seeing Suleyman. Nilüfer whispered a 'Good luck!' from my back, which gave me strength. I walked up to the closed door, my cold hands twisting one of the large glimmering sleeves of my elegant gown. I hadn't felt so nervous since my first meeting with Sultan. The aghas opened the doors, and closed them behind me as I entered the Sultan's private chamber. He stood in the centre of the room, back to me. Overwhelmed, I knelt with my head bowed. I could barely stand from the nerves wreaking havoc across my body and mind. Suddenly, his feet entered my line of sight, and before I could think I grabbed the hem of his kaftan and brought it first to my lips, then to my forehead. His hand grabbed my chin gently, pulling me back to my feet. Looking up, I saw blue eyes shining in amusement and curiosity. I had only done this once, on the first night I spend with him.

"Are you well?" He asked, amusement colouring his words. I had my eyes on his lips, watching more than listening. "This is unlike you, my sun." His hands brushed my arms, from shoulder to wrists and back up again. The warm gesture emboldened me, giving me the same courage as several goblets of the finest wine. I gave him my most radiant smile.

"I am well." I told him, hands on his chest, silently enjoying the feeling of his hard muscles under the expensive and luxurious silk. "I have visited the doctor, as you suggested." He frowned.

"Are you ill?" He asked, concerned. "You were very nauseous for several days. Do you have any stomach ailment?" I giggled and shook my head.

"No, my lord." I didn't want to tiptoe about the subject anymore. I grabbed his hands in mine and put them on my stomach, over my womb. His eyes widened slightly, lowering to look at where I had placed his hands before looking at me, expectantly. He searched my grinning expression, waiting for the words. "I'm pregnant. Our child will be here by Autumn!" Suleyman was a quiet man, his joy was expressed calmly, unlike the fireworks that graced Istanbul's skies on certain festivals. That day, however, I saw another side of Suleyman. His laughter was louder, like bells tolling happily throughout the room. I was shocked and thrilled when he picked me up and twirled me around the room, as we both laughed. He held me in the air, as if I was a great treasure he had been granted by Allah, or maybe the sun, rescued by his hands from the dark clouds covering the skies. Once my feet were back on the ground, he gathered me in his arms, kissing my lips repeatedly. His kisses were filled with urgency, love, joy, and quickly turned to lust and desire. We both hungered for one another. But we also needed air to live, so we had to part our lips and pant, to recover from the feverish celebratory kissing. Forehead to forehead, our eyes met joyously, neither looking away.

"My Mihrişah…" Those words sounded loving, happy. "You have made me happy, in a way only you can." Oh Suleyman…no one is as happy as I am at this moment!

"I live for you, my lord." I spoke, my hands leaving his chest to touch my abdomen, which would grow in the coming months to accommodate the result of our love. "And now, I'll have another reason to live." His large hands cradled my face tenderly.

"Your life will always belong to me." He growled, those beautiful blue eyes shining from the joy. Another kiss, filled with unspoken desire and lust, took my breath away.

"I wouldn't have it in any other way."

* * *

That was our last night of love, we knew all too well. We took advantage. No more words flowed between us. Why? We had limited time and we desired one another. This sensual man wished my body and I wished his. We took our time in taking our clothes off, hands never straying from our bodies. His large hands caressed each part of my body, leaving tingling skin where he touched. I lightly traced the scars littering his hardened body as I trailed kisses down his neck. We barely made it to the bed. And there we stayed, embraced tightly in a tangle of sweaty limbs, until the sun rose, greeting us gloriously. There we stayed, to celebrate my state of grace and mourn the months we would not have to love. And there I mourned doubly, for I was uncertain I'd have his love after this. I'd have to fight Hürrem for him, above all others in the harem. I'd push anyone to his bed in her stead to keep her from poisoning his further. Still, no matter how secure I was, Suleyman's love was fickle. I would have to fight to keep it, lest I end up like Mahidevran.

Alone.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

The news of my pregnancy spread through the harem like wildfire. When announced to the Divan, it was spilled out of the palace and rejoiced around the Empire. I was exalted for my condition and given leave of work and serving Sultan. Unfortunately, it meant I would see him rarely, unable to influence him and keep Hürrem's influence from increasing again. For now, however, I was to celebrate my exalted condition. Valide Sultan called all women to the outer hall, just outside the double doors to the main area of the harem. We stood on the elevated walkway, I stood one step behind the older woman, Daye Hatun by her side.

"Girls." Valide Sultan called them to attention. "Today, we are graced by Allah with another future child for the Empire." She turned and nodded to Daye, who held one large pouch of gold in one hand, the other inside. Daye began throwing gold coins over the small crowd. Squeals of delight floated to where we stood, where the girls and some of the kalfas scattered around the courtyard to pick up the raining gold coins. As Daye rained down gold, they shouted up to us happily.

"Allah bless you!" They cried happily. "Allah bless the baby!" I watched curiously, this ritual was something odd, in my opinion. I asked Nilüfer later. As we settled among the other women, both carrying embroidery to do while chatting, she answered my persistent questions.

"I'm not sure, actually." She confessed. Efsun sat by our side, also carrying embroidery. "Do you know why they shower us with gold when there's a pregnancy?" Efsun scoffed, stabbing crudely the cloth with her needle.

"Of course!" Efsun sneered, and Nilüfer scowled at her. "This is another way of spreading the good news and having everyone pray for a good hour and a Şehzadeh." She told us, her tone disrespectful. Nilüfer hated when Efsun got all high and mighty, but I smiled at the girl. Sharp words came out of her lips, but I had seen her heart was in the right place. She was as kind as she could afford to be, in this place. And I didn't hold it against her. I ought to tell Nilüfer not to be harsh.

With the turn of events, I found myself receiving more attention, from everyone, be it friends or foes. Mahidevran Sultan acknowledged me frequently, asking solicitous questions on my wellbeing and that of the child. I replied most respectfully, while asking for advice. She was aloof, but never needled or snapped at me, the way Hürrem did whenever we crossed paths. She was solicitous in Suleyman's presence, and turned around in personality when he absented himself. Like Valide Sultan had said, there was no moment where I was alone with her. So her temper and bitterness had always witnesses. I fear she was unable to hold herself back, whenever she saw my growing belly. Suleyman was once again ignoring the harem, and Hürrem as well. He called for no one at night. I would be called for mere company, but his eyes would stare into the distance, as if he was trying to see beyond the walls. He had his mind elsewhere, and that intrigued me. I caught Sümbul Agha whispering something in his ear twice, before vanishing from the Palace grounds. Suddenly, he began taking interest in hunting again, going out every other day, sometimes alone, others with Ibrahim Pasha. Still, I worried with his lack of interest toward the harem. It gave Hürrem the opportunity to rise again, as she would enter his chambers shortly after I left. Valide Sultan and I met frequently, nearly daily. I believe it was mostly to keep me under her eye so that nothing would happen to me and the child. We would discuss many things, some political points of the harem and beyond, or plans for both my future child, and Hürrem's diminished sphere of influence. Since my condition meant Sultan Suleyman and I couldn't continue our intimacies, Hürrem had been on the prowl, attempting to get back to his good graces. Little by little, she was recovering ground lost when I became Ikbal. In this, I would need back up.

"Any particular idea on the subject?" Gülfem asked, smiling genuinely. I grinned, glad she finally asked in midst of the usual small chat. Mahidevran had never accepted the invitation to attend these meetings, using Mustafa as excuse. She campaigned for herself and her son, using the boy to gather his father's attention.

"Sultan dines with me on the morrow, my sultana." I answered. Despite my condition, Suleyman and I shared meals, where I could relish in his company. "If it pleases you, I'd like to have one or two dancers perform for us." I grinned, glad they were receptive to the plan. Valide was quiet for few moments, then smiled.

"That's a fabulous idea!" Valide complimented me, I felt my cheeks burn, feeling embarrassed and proud. Gülfem and I exchanged amused glances, trying hard not to laugh. Valide turned to Daye, who was always present at these meetings. "Daye, do you have anyone in mind?" She asked the older woman, who bowed upon being addressed.

"Indeed, my Sultana, there are some who can be of use." Daye mused out loud, for our benefit. "I will see to the choosing and preparation." Valide nodded.

"I want it to be perfect for my Aslan, they must be perfect in their performance, or else he won't pay any attention." Valide spoke. She was right, Suleyman had the habit of paying little attention to the dancing women, unless they were exquisite and wove their moves perfectly timed with the music. "Mihrişah, do you require anything else?" She asked. She was very solicitous of me, as was Hatice. I was glad for their help, for the harem was darker than perceived to be, outside these marble walls. Hidden by the golden halls and beautiful attires and jewelled arches, hid secrets and crimes committed, for the sake of being the one to walk the Golden Path, towards favour and glory. I glowed with pride, in my knowledge of having achieved what I had been asked and continuing down the path that many would kill to walk.

"No, my Valide." I said. "To be here, in your presence, is a blessing." I looked towards the door, somewhat sad. "Outside these doors, people are vicious and cruel." I caressed my growing belly. "Sometimes I fear for my life and my child." These worries I had never spoken to anyone. Not even Nilüfer, who was my constant companion and guard. She took good care of me, but even she was unable to shield me from all of the nasty things jealous concubines threw to those more fortunate.

From that day on, two aghas were stationed outside the door to my room, which I shared with Ayşe. She was confused at first, but when I spoke it had been the Valide Sultan's wishes, she shrugged and went back to her tasks. Nilüfer also questioned me. I spoke truthfully to her, spilling the fears I felt, living in the treacherous golden halls of the Topkapi Palace. She smiled and soothed my nerves as only she could, that afternoon. One day, Fatma ran to me, face in wonder.

"Mihrişah!" She hissed, tugging my arm as to pull me behind a pillar, hiding us both from sight and potential eavesdroppers. I was too curious to chide her or the like, I allowed her to pull me. She was safe, having taken no sides. "Why did Nilüfer ask an audience with Valide Sultan?" She asked, her eyes shining. "What is going on?" That I did not expect. Nilüfer was uninterested in Sultan Suleyman's attentions, I had thought she would wait until I had consolidated my position. Or so I thought. I smiled to Fatma, trying to look unpreoccupied by the news she brought to me. I couldn't allow anything to upset me, it would affect my unborn child.

"Maybe she's sick of waiting." I told Fatma, soothing her concern. She was such a kind girl and I wished I could do more for her. One day, perhaps, I'd help her achieve her ambitions, the same with those closest to me. I rewarded them as best as I could, but sometimes, I felt it wasn't enough. "She has seen my happiness, perhaps she wishes for her own piece of heaven." My eyes shone with mirth and I pulled Fatma to my arms. She saw I needed the comfort, for her arms surrounded me, cocooning me in warmth and kindness. Bitter emotions threatened to engulf me, despite my attempts to stop them. Jealousy, anger, sorrow.

I was deeply in love with Suleyman, when I knew too well he wasn't mine alone.

He would never be.

* * *

She didn't deserve my coldness, it was a given. When she returned from the audience with Valide Sultan, I sat among the favourites, in the main room of the harem, embroidering baby clothes for my future child. Ismilah and Efsun sat on either side of my pillow, exchanging polite words and ideas for clothes for my baby. New-borns of both sexes could use the same type of clothes for the first few months, but I would need something more gender specific when the baby reached a certain age. I had discussed with both the immediate need for clothes for the first few months and they agreed to help me sew and embroider a piece each. Efsun sewed the clothes while Ismilah embroidered the hems with passages from the Koran, to ward off bad luck and curses, using golden thread I had provided her. My embroidery was mostly animals and flowers, since I wasn't as good embroidering words. Nilüfer found me like this, sitting in the middle of the two girls, and preoccupied by the work at hand. I didn't look up, nor did I exchange any greeting. I simply focussed on my work. The bitter jealousy was always present and I couldn't swallow it completely, I allowed it to sour my mood. Even when Daye Hatun called me for the meal with Valide Sultan, she rose to accompany me but I called Fatma instead. I turned away, pretending not to see her wounded expression, walking with Fatma in tow. I had little appetite that night, which Valide Sultan commented. I told her I was feeling somewhat down and she would have none of it. She beckoned one of her servants to play, while another danced for my enjoyment. But then I asked if I could sing instead and I ended up singing a duet with Gülfem, marvelling the Valide Sultan and Sultan himself, who entered unannounced, intending to surprise us. He was the one who was surprised by our song and enchanted by the wonderful mixture of tones. Gülfem and I were embarrassed but pleased by the compliments. He sat on Valide Sultan's divan, and I sat at his feet, on a large comfortable pillow.

"How are you today, Mihrişah?" He asked, holding my hands in his big, calloused, gentle hands. I marvelled at the rough skin and big fingers engulfing mine easily.

"I am fine, my lord." I said truthfully. I had been feeling down in the beginning of our meal, meanwhile, all of the older women's attempts to cheer me up worked. Singing with Gülfem did the trick, I finished the song smiling. "This evening I find myself cheered by the entertainment here, as well as being able to accompany Gülfem in a song. And seeing you is the pinnacle of my day." I couldn't help but say, jealousy forgotten. "A day without my Sultan is like a cloudy day, with no hope for the sun. But you appear, and it is like the sun shining through the dark clouds, banishing them away to clear the sky and grace the flowers with his precious light." He grinned at my poor attempt for poetry. It was the only thing I failed miserably, but he never remonstrated me nor did he mock my words. I wasn't as eloquent as Muhibi, despite my best efforts.

"I find myself missing you as well, Mihrişah, my sun." He told me gently, kissing my head tenderly. "The nights are cold, the days without light, whenever you are away from me." I looked at him in wonder. Then the moment was ruined when I felt pain shooting up my spine, causing me to wince. "What is it?" He was concerned by the sudden pained look I must have.

"Just this, my lord." I guided one of his large hands and laid it on my large belly. His expectant look was replaced by wonder and joy. I could feel every kick and I was glad he could as well. "He is already a warrior, my lord." I joked. "He keeps fighting day and night. I won't be surprised if he comes out holding a sword and littles spurs attached to his little feet." They all laughed.

"It might be a girl." He told me, to which I shrugged.

"Then she will be a warrior, like her father. And we'll have hard times ahead of us, for she will handle a sword as well as her brothers." I teased. Well, half a tease. My words held truth. No daughter of mine would be a little mouse, hiding behind my skirts. I'd teach her to fight, to hold a sword and shoot arrows. I had learnt, she would too. The Sultan smiled.

"I won't have to worry about my harem, with our daughter to protect my family."

"No matter what, boy or girl, my child will be a credit to you, my lord." I told him seriously.

"I know. You are a credit to me and my family." He complimented me, peppering my hair with kisses. "Our child will be the culmination of our love. Be it boy or girl, I'll love the child dearly." This night, he did not ask for company. I desired to return to my room, despite my wanting to stay with Suleyman, I had had no rest due to the baby. When I arrived to my chambers, however, I found a situation I had not foreseen. At the foot of my sleeping couch, was a pallet. Sitting on the pallet, preparing to sleep, was Nilüfer. I stood still, stunned by her presence. She noticed me and grinned.

"Hi!" She cheerfully greeted, rising from her bed. I couldn't talk, I was wondering how and why she was there. Ayşe was glaring at us both, but her expression also betrayed the curiosity we shared at Nilüfer's presence. She made me change to my nightgown and helped me to bed. Only then, when the initial shock vanished, I managed to get words out.

"Why are you here?" I hissed, not wanting Ayşe to overhear us. Nilüfer tucked me in and grinned.

"I'm here in case you need anything." She whispered. "I asked to see Valide Sultan today for this reason. She granted me several requests, actually, but all in your benefit." Suddenly, I felt guilty. In my jealousy, I had thought the worse of her and remorse gnawed at my soul. "What is it?" She asked, worried. Tears flowed from my eyes, unbidden. Damn mood swings…

"I'm sorry." I sobbed. "I thought the worst of you." I confessed, trying my best to stop crying. "I know my lord is not mine alone, but I thought you had gone to Valide Sultan to help you walk the Golden Path in my stead." I spoke honestly in my grief, the guilt eating me inside. Nilüfer laughed quietly.

"Oh, that." She waved my apologies aside. "Maybe one day, I might have that luck. Who knows? Maybe Valide Sultan will help me achieve it, maybe I'll catch the Sultan's eye." She grinned impishly. "Maybe you'll help me instead." We shared a laugh and I felt lighter then. "No, my concern now is you, and the child." Her hand caressed my belly, bulging through the bedcovers. "When you spoke of your fears, I knew I had to go to the Valide Sultan and ask her to be with you day and night, in case anyone bribed agha or kalfa tries to do away with you." Nilüfer sighed. "I'll be sleeping at the foot of your bed from now on. I'll be with you as much as possible. If I'm not available, either Husni or Fatma will be there to replace me. Valide Sultan has ordered so. You will never be alone." Those last words were spoken with such strength, my fears vanished. I smiled easily.

"Thank you, my friend." I pulled her down and kissed her cheek. "Now, let us sleep, tomorrow is a new day." She giggled and went to her pallet. Nights were now safe, for both of us. We had the aghas at our doors, to stop anyone from sneaking in, and I had Nilüfer by my bed to soothe my nightmares.

* * *

"Hatice Sultan's pregnancy is going well?" I asked Valide Sultan.

"She has been feeling unwell for some time." She told me, frowning. The older woman looked worried, which meant the situation wasn't good. "Gülfem Hatun and Nigar Kalfa have gone to her Palace in order to keep her company until the birth." No wonder I haven't seen them in days.

"That's good." I said, as we sat in her chambers. I had a piece of baby clothing to finish sewing, while she perused some documents. "She shouldn't be alone at this time." She smiled at me.

"Indeed." She nodded. "Hürrem is visiting her today, as well. It's good to have her out of the Palace, means it's more peaceful without her belligerent personality." I smothered a giggle. She was right in describing Hürrem. Mahidevran Sultan arrived suddenly, pulling me back to the present. Valide Sultan put down her documents.

"Valide Sultan." She greeted with a quick curtsey. Then she looked at me and tilted her head as greeting. "Mihrişah." I rose quickly to bow to the first Kadin, only sitting back down after she did.

"How's Mustafa?" Valide Sultan asked the Bas-Kadin, who glowed at the question.

"He's wonderful, my Valide." The pride in her son's accomplishments was obvious. "He's improving his skills at archery and sword fighting, and-" She was interrupted by the hasty arrival of Daye Hatun. Valide Sultan rose to her feet, alarmed.

"Daye, what's wrong?" She demanded, alarmed. Daye bowed quickly, smiling.

"My Valide, Hatice Sultan has delivered a healthy baby boy." She told us. I rose slowly.

"It's too early for this." She said, then turned to Mahidevran. "We shall go to Hatice's palace. Mihrişah, return to the harem." She shot at me, before turning away. Sümbul Agha arrived then, smiling cheerfully. "Sümbul, have my carriage prepared. Daye, help me prepare." I bobbed quickly and left before I was yelled at, in the middle of the frantic preparations. Mahidevran walked out ahead of me, heading to her chambers. I wish I could go with them, but I wasn't a kadin. I haven't been outside the walls ever since I was brought here. As I walked back to the harem, Hürrem stormed past me, her face sour and eyes red, as if she had been crying. She didn't even notice whoever was in her path, and I was left to wonder what had happened in the Sultana's palace. Well, I would have to wait until someone managed to wrest some kind of information out of Hürrem, if she didn't shout it out for all the palace to hear. I was about to walk into the main area of the harem, when one of the aghas at the door stopped me.

"Mihrişah Hatun." He whispered, and held out a nicely carved box in my direction. "Someone asked Şeker Agha to ensure this would reach you." The box was beautiful, I wondered who would go through the trouble of secreting it into the Topkapi Palace. I smiled and hid the box with my large sleeve.

"Thank you, agha." I picked up a little pouch of gold coins, which I had the habit of carrying, and gave it to him. Without another word, I made my way to my room, where I opened the box in peace. Inside was a scroll and a simple silver dagger. Huh, what kind of gift is this? I took the scroll and opened it. My heart stopped. _Brother!_

 _My beautiful sister Aliz,_

 _My heart hurts to know you are there willingly. You sacrificed yourself for the sake of our family's honour. It helped us retain our titles, under Sultan Suleyman's governance. Still, your sacrifice rankles me. I wish you would heed my words and returned to us. No amount of gold or titles could ever fill the gap your absence left in our family. Mother misses you, so does Father._

 _This dagger belongs to our family collection of heirlooms. You need to protect yourself in that pit of snakes. And, if for any reason, you decide to leave, it'll be useful. Show the coat of arms to Signeur Gritti. He'll help you out, the same way he helped me in._

 _May God keep you safe._

 _From your loving brother,_

 _Johann_

I crumpled the paper and held it against my chest, crying. _Oh brother, what lengths you go to ensure I'm well._ I smiled, thinking it was typical of him. Kissing the paper, I read it one last time before throwing it in the fire. I consigned the words to a place in my mind, safe from prying eyes and warring kadins. The dagger, was another matter. I could use a weapon. It would give me leverage against physical threats.

I arrived to the main area of the harem for the last meal of the day and found the women in a buzz. Something had set them off like bees in spring. I spotted my friends and headed in their direction.

"Everyone's lively at this time of the day." I commented lightly as I sat between Husni and Nilüfer.

"Haven't you heard?" Husni asked, her expression a mix of several emotions. Nilüfer's hand closed around mine, holding me tight. Almost painful. I gave her an odd look. Whatever's the problem?

"Hatice Sultan gave birth to a baby boy." She announced, but with a grim tone.

"That's good. It's a happy event." I tried to smile, but none of them shared my joy. Nilüfer looked particularly bothered.

"Hürrem was there for the birth. The baby was born without breath. But she saved him. She saved Hatice Sultan's baby!" Fatma told me, since Nilüfer wasn't forthcoming with the details. "She's back to Sultan's affections."

"What?" I stood up, staring at the girl as if she was an aberration. WHY?! Why now? I paled considerably, feeling faint all of a sudden. Nilüfer held me as I swayed on my feet, Fatma looking sorry for me. "What does that mean?"

"It means she's going back to him. He has called for her tonight!"


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

I tried not to let it show, but it bothered me. It bothered me a lot. Yes, she saved Hatice Sultan's baby boy. But it gave her access to Sultan once more. She was like a cat, coming back no matter how far she was thrown, and falling on her feet. I stabbed the embroidery needle in the fabric a little too hard, then swore under my breath. Husni, who sat by my side, glanced, worried, in my direction, but kept words to herself. She was aware of why my mood had gone south and stayed there. While everyone around us celebrated Mehmed's birth, the son of Ibrahim Pasha and Hatice Sultan, I sat sullenly, biting my lower lip and trying to block out what I saw as Hürrem's victory. But then I felt bad and sighed. Hatice Sultan had been extremely happy with her pregnancy. Wishing Hürrem hadn't saved the baby was spiteful and I felt guilty for being angry. Husni's hand was on my arm, calling for my attention silently.

"Are you unwell?" Her concern made me feel even worse. I shook my head.

"I feel fine, the nausea has past." I answered, my eyes jumping from one girl to the next, as they celebrated and chatted loud.

"It's good that Hatice Sultan's baby survived." Husni said, changing subject. She sat back, goblet in hand, held in my direction. I took it with a simple 'Thanks' and drank.

"She's happy. And so is our lord." I said neutrally. Suleyman had called for Hürrem for three nights in a row. And, of course, Hürrem was back to being insufferable. She must've felt like the hen on top of the henhouse, crowing to the wind her victory. And, thinking of the devil…

"Good afternoon, girls." Hürrem walked in, followed by Gül Agha and her servants. Some of the Cariyes gathered around her, eager for her attention. I rolled my eyes and kept stabbing the embroidery, not bothering with being respectful. Husni sat down after bowing, and I sensed her worried glances. It did nothing but incense me further. It wasn't Husni who annoyed me further. Hürrem did. Her shadow was on me, I sighed and looked up to her grinning, wicked face. "Are you alright, Mihrişah Hatun?" Her fake concern was dripping with unbridled joy. I sighed and did my best to school my expression to one of cheerful normality.

"Good afternoon, my Sultana." I answered, not bothering to rise. "I'd bow, but I'm afraid the movement would cause me to soil your pretty feet." I tilted my head to the side, staring up at the woman. I cared less if she complained about me to the Sultan. I smothered a giggle when I saw her take several steps back, fearful of my unpredictable retching. She tilted her head from side to side, her expression changing to disgusted, then to angry, finally setting on fake sympathy.

"Maybe you shouldn't sit here." Her less than polite tone surfaced, fitting for the fake sympathy displayed. "You'll end up stinking up the room for the rest of us." Wanting to be nasty, I faked apprehension.

"Indeed, you are right, my Sultana." I agreed. "But you shouldn't worry, since you don't belong among us." My words were rude, and they were out before I could rein them in. Still, I didn't regret them.

"Listen, you low ranked slave," She hissed, glaring at full force. "don't get ideas above your station. You won't be another kadin, nor will you have any more chances of panting after the Sultan's feet." I didn't fall for her bait. Instead, her retribution was a smile and polite words. I couldn't make the mistake of incurring anyone's wrath. Not yet.

"Perhaps, my Sultana. Birthing a Sultana wouldn't be bad either, however." I caressed my growing belly. "Still, you're not the one who chooses who spends the night with the Sultan. He does. Let's see how long you last there." She would've answered, but we had already attracted too much attention. Gül Agha was instantly by her side, trying to diffuse an already tense situation. With one last furious glare in my direction, she turned around and stormed out of the main room, followed by furious whispering. Husni shook her head, breathing heavily.

"You'll be the death of us." She scolded me, hand on her chest. I sighed and turned back to my embroidery, my eyes connecting to Nilüfer's on the other side of the room. She had a panicked expression, but dared not to approach. My thoughts turned dark. I had to live. For myself, for my child. And for their sake.

"No, I hope I'll be the death of her."

* * *

The Sultan clearly had other ideas. After spending three nights with Hürrem, he ceased calling either of us for company, dedicating his time to his past times or government issues. I wasn't as affected as Hürrem, who stormed down the halls, her volatile temper flaring against whoever crossed her path. I was cheered by the fact that he chose no one, over me. I knew he wasn't mine, but still, the irrational part of me ached whenever I was left out. Then, all of a sudden, Sultan decided to dine with his Bas-Kadin and his first Şehzadeh one night. Maybe it was the pregnancy, but that stung quite a bit, to be relegated to the background. That irrational part of me flared, leaving me tearful. I was realistic about my position, still, I wasn't emotionally stable during that time. I confessed my jealousy to Nilüfer, and she smiled sadly.

"Such is the fate of us women for the Sultan." She told me, rubbing my back tenderly. I marvelled at her care for me.

"One day, I'll share him with you." I vowed, despite my tears. Of all of those supporting me, she was the one I wanted to raise the most. I wanted to reward her for the tender care, for how she always looked out for me. But Nilüfer didn't seem to care, she simply shrugged.

"Whether that'll happen or not, it is up to Allah." She soothed me. "For now, you need to focus on the child. Valide Sultan ordered me to care for you. Once you're safely delivered, maybe I will have that chance." Her eyes shone and we shared a laugh.

"Can you see?" I asked suddenly. "Us both as the third and fourth kadins, mothers of imperial princes." She shook her head.

"No, I don't wish for that." She disagreed with me, to my surprise. "I'd rather have a Sultana. I'd still have some favour like that, but my children wouldn't have to go against yours, but they will support yours instead." Her words touched me deeply.

"Like you do to me." I marvelled, and threw myself in her arms, both laughing. Ayşe gave us an annoyed look, keeping quiet. Our flamboyant interaction aggravated her, nuisances we were, according to her. But who would listen to her? We went down to the harem, to mingle with the girls. They were all in a frenzy, commenting the sudden change, of Suleyman choosing his Bas-Kadin's company that night.

"And Mustafa's as well!" Husni pointed out, glancing apologetically in my direction. I took a piece of bread and ate it, smiling. Nilüfer had cheered me up, so the needling of the more jealous girls didn't bother me. One particular nasty piece of Cariyes, who was in league with Hürrem, didn't stay silent.

"He decided you're not interesting enough to keep him 'company', Mihrişah." The girl told me, named Zala, grinning spitefully. Nilüfer glared openly, but one glance at me and her features softened.

"So what?" Fatma snapped. "Should the Sultan ask you what he should do?" Husni grabbed Fatma's arm and pulled her back down to her seat. Zala gave them a scornful look, before turning back to me. I couldn't say it didn't hurt to hear those words. But I was bigger than that. The answering smile was bright.

"Oh Zala." I gushed, my hands going directly to my growing belly. "I'm certainly interesting enough. Or else I wouldn't be in this predicament. By the way, how many times have YOU walked down the Golden Path?" I took care to use a kind tone. My friends were scowling, but by the end of my little question, they were snickering behind their hands and casting mocking glances at the reddened girl. "You shouldn't throw spiteful words around if you don't have anything to back you up." I scolded her, my voice harder and colder. "The Bas-Kadin deserves respect, and all your words tell me is that you respect no one. I wonder what the Valide Sultan would say to that." My threat certainly finished the deal for me. Zala paled considerably and shrank in her seat, not daring to look or talk for the rest of the meal. And no one dared to defend her or pick up where she had left of. Nilüfer and I shared a victorious smile.

* * *

The next day, I joined the rest of the girls in the main room. Most of them were solicitous and caring. Mostly likely, after the previous night's discussions, they decided it was in their best interests to, at least, be friendly toward me. I had my hands full with an antagonistic kadin, and fighting the rest of the girls was not something I wished for. The morning was uneventful, but in the afternoon, we were visited by Mahidevran Sultan. I joined the others in greeting the Bas-Kadin, and couldn't help but notice she was cheerful, and her body irradiated happiness and a hint of arrogance. She saw me in the middle of the line and stopped in front of me. My belly wasn't very pronounced, but the baby bump could be noticed under my gown.

"How are you Mihrişah Hatun?" She asked, solicitous. "Are you well?" I bent my knees in a brief curtsy and looked up, smiling.

"I'm fine, my Sultana." I replied. "The nausea is not as strong now, thank Allah." She nodded, then looked around.

"Good, I'm glad. Have you seen Sümbul Agha?" She asked. Honestly, I realised she was talking to me more for some other reason and not my health. I played along.

"No, I haven't seen him today." I saw someone else by the large entrance of the common area. "But Gül Agha is here, my Sultana." She turned, and the agha, who had just arrived, hurried to bow.

"Most brilliant of kadins. How may I serve you today?" We had to hide our mocking smiles. He was all flattery in front of Mahidevran, when in reality, he cared only for Hürrem's interests.

"I was looking for Sümbul Agha, but he's not around, it seems." Her words seemed like she was thinking out loud, then sighed. "Oh well, I need you to canvass the city, search for impoverished areas. I'll build there two fountains, and hammams, for those who are in need."

"You'll earn a lot of prayers, my Sultana." The agha bowed, all solicitous. "I'll search right away." With one last arrogant look, Mahidevran left, followed by her servants. This set off a frenzy, another in less than one day. Nilüfer hurried down the line and pinched my arm.

"She did this on purpose." I whispered in her ear and she gave me a funny look. "She could've had someone else do it for her. But she told Gül Agha on purpose." And then I added. "And right in front of me as well."

"She's driving a point to both of you." She realised, her eyes wide open and awed. I nodded. It was the way she had found to tell us she was above us.

"I'm sure it was the reason Sultan dined with her last night." I spoke, rubbing my chin in deep thought.

"Doesn't it bother you?" She asked, frowning. I expected the question, I should be, being all emotional. But, strangely…

"No." Was the honest reply. I giggled at the odd look I received. "Seriously, I'm fine. Not really upset. I'm glad for her, she does deserve something of the sort. You would too if you had to deal directly with Hürrem." We snickered. "I wish I could see her face when she finds out."

* * *

But the entire day I heard snippets of the news. Some people went out of their way to repeat it to me. At first, I smiled and agreed it was deserving. The Bas-Kadin, as mother to the heir, should be charitable, and we should follow her footsteps. After the tenth person repeating it, I found myself feeling less cheerful and resenting her god fortune. She didn't have to rub it on my face, others were certainly doing the work for her. Zala had stayed out of my way, thankfully, yet I found three of her friends repeating the story, embellished of course, to me. I ended up sending them away in tears, threatening to call for Daye Hatun to punish them for their pettiness. The last straw was Husni, who I hadn't seen all day. I had just arrived from the hammam, and she hurried in my direction, grabbing my arm with urgency, despite being surrounded by kalfas and other Cariyes, who were stunned by her disrespectful gesture. Nilüfer scowled at her rough handling.

"Mahidevran Sultan received a grant for charity work." Husni whispered in my ear, trying not to be overheard by my friend or any other onlooker. "She has asked Gül Agha to search poor locations for the construction of fountains, hammams and the like." I was annoyed at the repetition of what I had seen happen. Nilüfer growled and nearly ripped the girl off of my arm.

"That was mighty generous." Mahidevran Sultan looked cheerful, even bright and light. "She deserves something good, after dealing with the bitterness brought by the second Kadin." Then I turned to the girl, who watched me wide eyed, facing her frowning and irritated. "Are you doing this because of concern, or are you trying to be petty?" I was harsher than I had expected, yet, I wasn't sorry. To hear the same thing over and over, all day long, eroded my patience. I would've thought Efsun be the one to point it out, but she had been strangely quiet and supportive. I had never thought Husni would lower herself so low. From her expression, I could see she derived some pleasure from my discomfort.

"Well, I was wondering-" I cut her off then and there.

"Wondering if I hadn't heard it?" I seethed. "That's all people are talking about, why in the name of the Prophet wouldn't I hear it too?" Hearing that made her look contrite. But I didn't let myself be fooled. "You decided to try and rub salt on my wounds. I'm disappointed in you, dear Husni. Because you went lower than Efsun would ever go." Holding my head high, and ignoring the whispers of the audience. From the corner of my eyes, I saw Nilüfer hiss something under her breath to Husni before hurrying in my direction. Once she reached me and matched her steps with mine, I leaned in her direction. "What did you tell her?" I asked softly. She shrugged, making little of it.

"Nothing much. I told her to think whether it's worth antagonising her best chance at rising in the harem." Right to the point, and she was right. If, by Allah's grace, I sired a Şehzadeh, my friends would be rewarded as well. And those who betrayed me, would be left behind.

But only if it were a son…

* * *

Since the Sultan gave her the grant for charity work, Mahidevran Sultan began lavishing the harem with gifts. She would call for refreshments, sweetmeats and gather the girls around her to make merry. She didn't shun me, but actually, she would include me in the group hosted. There was no cattiness, no mean comments or any sort of evil snappish offenses thrown in my direction. If the Bas-Kadin treated me kindly, the girls would follow her stead. Husni sat far from us, at the back of the group, ever since the incident. Nilüfer and Efsun ignored her presence and never even spoke to her. Fatma confessed she suffered from terrible bouts of remorse, but I didn't allow pity to take over. I would forgive, but only when she asked for forgiveness. Letting anyone to walk over me, no matter who was, would eventually come back to haunt me. Mahidevran made a show of treating me above the others, but never like an equal. I showed her respect and she treated me fairly. I was no Hürrem, and I'm sure she was thankful for that. It didn't stop her from flaunting her position, I didn't grudge her that, even if it made me jealous. One day, she arrived to the main room, sat among us, and called two aghas, who carried two chests to the raised area where we sat. Gülsah opened them both, showing us the beautiful plethora of expensive fabric within. Most of the girls rose and crowded the chests, marvelling over the beauty and softness of the different types of cloth. Mahidevran then said they were gifts for us and told each girl to choose a bolt. Squeals of happiness and blessings rained all around, with the girls cheerfully haggling over the bolts. Gülsah and two kalfas remained nearby to stop them from outright fight over the bolts. There were plenty to choose. I watched them, smiling at the antics of some of the girls. I realised Nilüfer seemed reluctant to stay away and giggled.

"Go on." I urged, patting her back to get her out of her cushion. She wanted to argue, but I shook my head. "No need to worry about my feelings. They are gifts."

"They are HER gifts." She said sullenly. I shrugged.

"Gifts are gifts. And she's not outright calling for your allegiance. She's simply sharing her largesse."

"Still, I don't like it." She sounded like a child and I sighed.

"That's not very mature of you." I scolded her, which made her feel worse. "Look, if I needed, I'd choose one for myself. But I'd rather let you choose." Right on cue, Mahidevran called me. I turned to face her, Nilüfer raising an eyebrow at the sudden interjection. The Bas-Kadin smiled at the both of us.

"Mirihsah Hatun, why don't you choose one for yourself?" She asked sweetly, her eyes shining with mirth. She found it funny that I stayed sitting instead of going to the chests. No one stopped to watch our exchange and to that, I was grateful.

"I thank you, my Sultana." I shrugged. "But I'd rather let them choose. We should be charitable to those who have less than us and I have enough cloth. But I appreciate your generosity." Then I thought of something. "If you don't mind, instead of picking a bolt for myself, may I give my choice to Nilüfer?" Efsun and Fatma looked jealous, while Husni shrunk where she stood. The Bas Kadin tilted her head to the side, as if in deep thoughts.

"I don't see why not." She gestured to Gülsah, who opened a path through the mob for her. I grinned cheerfully, and pulled Nilüfer with me to the chests. I knew she was eager to see the wares, but felt conflicted. Gülsah was very considerate, pointing the best bolts and discussing with me the best colours. We looked Nilüfer from head to toe, holding bolts to her and measuring how each colour would suit her complexion and hair best. Finally, we settled for one bolt of peach coloured Italian silk and silver Spanish lace. She held them close to her bosom, not wanting to let go of her booty, which made me giggle.

"Maybe you should go to the seamstress and get the gown made, the sooner the better." I told her, shooing her in the direction of the door. She didn't think twice, shooting out of the main area with uncommon speed. I was going back to my seat, but Mahidevran stopped me.

"Sit with me, please." Her request sounded more like an order, but I did as she bade me. Gülsah stood behind the cushion I sat on, overlooking the area like a proud hawk. I felt a little intimidated, but not enough to shun the kindness of the Bas-Kadin. She held a small cup of hot coffee, freshly poured by one of the kalfas, in her hand.

"How is our Şehzadeh?" I asked respectfully, knowing the topic would cheer her up more than any other. And I was right. Her face opened, bright with happiness.

"He's fine, thanks to Allah." She gushed. "The teacher has praised his work and Ibrahim Pasha is teaching him Italian." I was surprised.

"Languages are valuable, and open many doors." For men, and anyone in general, languages were a plus. Especially if others didn't know you knew. Less likely to be wronged in deals, be them over wares or in politics. "He should learn French as well." She was taken aback by my suggestion.

"Why?" She asked, intrigued.

"It's a more fashionable language in Europe, my Sultana." I offered. "Speaking it will help him deal with ambassadors from other countries. Italian opens the Venetian, Italian and Spanish areas to him, but French will be useful in dealing with the French and English envoys." She drank my words, but didn't allow that to be shown, keeping her expression smooth and half aloof. Still, my words intrigued her.

"You understand politics." It wasn't a question, I nodded in confirmation.

"I have learnt along my brother. I would be his advisor, had I stayed with my family." I replied, trying not to let the sadness take over. One should cover sadness with smiles, whenever there is danger. "It can't be helped, I'm blessed with my life and our lord's attention." Her smile turned bitter, like she had bitten a lemon.

"Inshallah, you are always happy." Kindness disguising bitterness. Her tranquillity isn't perfect, it seems.

"And you as well, my Sultana."

* * *

Suleyman called for my company later that day. Sümbul Agha came to me when I sat with Mahidevran Sultan and he would take me to the Sultan immediately. Of course, hearing the Sultan's order for my presence pained her, and her expression showed it. Not wanting to rub it in further, I bowed respectfully and followed the agha out, trailed by Fatma.

"I haven't seen you around, Sümbul Agha." I told him, lightly. "Have you been hiding from me?" He laughed at my little joke.

"Heh? Why would I hide from your beauty, Mihrişah Hatun?" He replied in his peculiar and amusing way. "Had I known you wanted to see me, I'd rush to your side, ah!" His wide and fast gesture made us laugh.

"Well, then, don't hide from me!" I chided, grinning. He chuckled and nodded, gesturing to the Sultan's door. I knocked once and was allowed in. Stepping in his room was like the weight of the world lifted from my shoulders. He rose his head, and his smile lightened the room. He didn't wait for me to reach him, he rose to meet me where I stood.

"My Mihrişah. My sun." His strong hands caressed my arms, genuinely happy to see me. "I have missed you." Food sat waiting on the usual table by the fire, merrily cracking on the iznik tiles of the hearth.

"As I have missed you, my lord." I sighed, shuffling closer to him when he sat by my side on the cushions by the table. He put his hand on my growing belly, caressing tenderly the bulge under my gown.

"How much have you missed me?" He asked, drinking from his goblet. Is he challenging me? I sat straight, ready to unleash the pain of his absence.

"This Mihrişah, I am but the sun for the Sultan.  
My lord, my padishah, for whom the sun shines,

But you are the reason the birds sing.

Why have you hidden from me?

And so the sun lost its light, hiding behind the clouds.

Oh Moon, shine in my stead, for I miss my heart.

Does he think of me?

The rain washes the earth, they are the tears of my sorrow.

My Padishah, my air and water, for whom my heart beats.

Will Muhibi be silent while the sun cries?

Oh my Sultan, listen to these painful words.

Your sun cries, your absence wounded her.

Must you be away?

My soul aches from loneliness.

My Padishah, the sun is crying and there is no light.

But now I see your face, and the clouds part.

There is light once more!

Let the birds sing for us!" I finished my poem, building it along. Mesmerised, Suleyman listened attentively. He took one of my hands and kissed the knuckles.

"Ah, the sun cries for me." He sighed sadly. His other hand caressed my hair, putting tresses behind my ear. "But I am here for you. I banished the rain clouds so you can shine for me."

"Shine I shall, for now I see who makes me shine!" I told him cheerfully. "I wish I could dance for you, but alas, I am burdened by your love." I complained mischievously, causing him to laugh. When his lips were on mine, my soul was soothed. Everything was alright. Maybe he didn't love me as I did. But I would capture his heart.

His body I would share. But never his heart.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

"Mahidevran Sultan is happy." I told him, nonchalantly. We finished our meal and moved to the balcony, where I sat by his feet, head on his knees. He held his book in one hand, caressing my hair with the other. Sleep weighed heavily on my eyelids, yet I wished to enjoy his tenderness longer. Lately, he had been calling his kadins, leaving me to my devices. And I was curious about Mahidevran's grant. "After the grant you have given her, she has been lavishing the Cariyes and Gözde with gifts." He lowered the book, and gave me a long, searching look.

"And how do you feel about it?" He asked. I realised he was trying to see if I was jealous, like Hürrem. Maybe he thought I was bringing up the subject to complain, even demand something. While the second kadin was a pushy, bully of a she-devil, I wasn't of the same stock. I came from a noble family, I knew how to behave! I schooled my expression well, to show happiness rather than anything dark. This was the difference between Hürrem and I!

"I'm glad for her, she deserves to dispense charity and earn prayers." I told him seriously. "As mother of the first Şehzadeh, she ought to show she's charitable towards those of less fortune." My little speech impressed him, he nodded and exhaled heavily. I wasn't Hürrem, I wasn't so petty to grudge Mahidevran such gift. And it was my task to show him I was a worthier kadin than Hürrem.

"Don't you wish for something for yourself?" He pressed, critically watching my expression.

"Eventually, yes." I answered truthfully. "Everyone desires the opportunity to be charitable, as the holy Koran bids us to be. But I'm fine as I am for now. I want to have a happy hour, have my child in my arms. Later, when the babe is older." Again, my answer shocked him. I endeavoured to be honest, never withhold anything from him. And, perhaps because he was surrounded by self-serving viziers and the like, even his women were looking out for themselves and their children, he came to doubt anyone who looks or sounds truthful. Gently, he pulled me to the couch, and, surprisingly, he knelt on the cushion, holding my hands in one of his, while the other rested against my cheek, thumb caressing my skin and lips, over and over.

"Throne of my lonely niche, my wealth, my love, my moonlight.

My most sincere friend, my confidant, my very existence, my Sultan, my one and only love.

The most beautiful among the beautiful…

My springtime, my merry faced love, my daytime, my sweetheart, laughing leaf…

My plants, my sweet, my rose, the one only who does not distress me in this world…

My Constantinople, my Caraman, the earth of my Anatolia

My Badakhshan, my Baghdad and Khorasan

My woman of the beautiful hair, my love of the slanted brow, my love of eyes full of mischief…

I'll sing your praises always

I, lover of the tormented heart, Muhibbi of the eyes full of tears, I am happy." The words were tender, the feelings in the words enhanced by the intonation, the cadence of his voice as he spoke each of the beautiful woven sentences. I leaned forward, capturing his lips in a passionate kiss. His feelings were in the poem; my reply was in the kiss.

I returned to the harem two days later, finding the girls all in a frenzy. I was confused, had something happened while I was with Suleyman? Sümbul Agha had escorted me back, since those serving as maids had been sent back the second morning, after aiding my morning rituals. Suleyman kept me until the noon meal, which he shared with me. He sent me back, saying he would call me back later, but he had business outside the palace he had to attend urgently. Sümbul Agha scampered off after seeing me safely to the harem, to my surprise. Once the girls saw me, I was crowded.

"What's happening?" I asked, confused.

"Did you go back to the Sultan's bed?" One of the Circassian girls asked. Oh, I had to smother a giggle.

"Oh, now you're curious?" I grinned, shuffling where I stood. "Why would I tell you anything?" Some groaned, annoyed by my vague answer.

"You're not supposed to share his bed!" Zala cried, trembling.

"And what is that supposed to mean?" It came harsh, but I wasn't going to be kind to her.

"Well, according to Valide Sultan, once you are pregnant, you are off limits to the Sultan until you give birth." Janfeda, one of the girls who serves Valide Sultan's chambers, spoke from where she sat, enjoying her free time.

"Whatever happens in Sultan's chambers, stays there." I replied hotly, aggravated by their meddling. "Don't you have anything else to do?" I demanded, seeing a lot of them idling around. Gül Agha arrived at that precise moment. We all bobbed a brief curtsey to the agha.

"Girls, why are you crowding Mihrişah?" He demanded, looking around with his serious, but funny, expression. Some stammered excuses, others hurried away to look busy. "Hurry, hurry, go back to your tasks!" He scattered the crowd with a few expletives, chastising their laziness. Then he turned to me. "Hürrem Sultan called for you, you should hurry." I felt harried, first by the meddling Cariyes, then by the bothersome kadin. I gave him a weak smile.

"I can't, I haven't been feeling well, I was heading to the harem doctor." Was my answer. He shook his head.

"It's unwise to deny Hürrem Sultan." He warned, grabbing my upper arm firmly. I wanted to slap him so badly. Something had happened for him to be forceful. But I didn't care to find out what.

"You will unhand me, or I will scream the palace down on your head." I hissed, intoning as much threat in those words as possible. He didn't comply. "Are you really going to chance me calling for help?" Our little exchange was attracting more attention than before. From the corner of my eyes, I saw Nilüfer hurrying in our direction.

"Can you afford to antagonise Hürrem Sultan?" He asked softly, loud enough only for me to hear him. "She's the brightest of the stars in the Harem, her will is supreme."

"No, Gül Agha. Suleyman's will is supreme." I countered. "Valide Sultan's will is supreme. Hatice Sultan's will is supreme. But neither Mahidevran, Hürrem nor I have the right to provoke their ire and cause trouble for those living here." I glanced at his hand, still holding my arm in his iron grasp. "Will you release me, or do I have to scream?" I threatened one last time. He would have answered, had it not been the sudden voice ringing from behind him.

"Gül Agha!" Daye Hatun's voice called, harsh. We turned at the same time, to find Valide Sultan, Hatice Sultan and Daye Hatun standing by the open doorway to the main area of the harem, their eyes on us. Gül Agha released me quickly, stuttering excuses, that made no sense. Hatice beckoned me to approach them, her gentle hands holding my shoulders and glancing from head to toe before turning to the offending agha.

"What gives you the right to handle Mihrişah in such fashion?" Hatice demanded the trembling agha. Valide Sultan glowered, her eyes flashing. Nilüfer hid between the other girls, hoping the blame didn't fall on her head as well.

"I-I-I…" He tried to speak but nothing of use came out of his lips. Valide Sultan looked at me, hoping for an explanation.

"I had just arrived to the harem, when he approached me, saying Hürrem Sultan summoned me. But I was heading to the harem doctor, I feel under the weather." I explained quietly. "He didn't accept my answer and was threatening me that it's unwise to deny Hürrem Sultan and her will is supreme in the harem." Turning the curse back to the caster was the best revenge possible. The agha paled, hearing me recall his not-very-subtle threats. It wouldn't be very bad, had I been a simple concubine. However, as future mother to the sultan's child meant offenses toward me were taken at face value. Valide Sultan's face hardened considerably.

"Aghas." She called, and instantly, two were at her back, looking at their feet, but ready to comply to any order given. Gül Agha trembled and stuttered apologies, none heeded. "Take Gül Agha to the dungeon, to think over his conduct." The two aghas moved fast, grabbing the struggling male by his arms and dragging him screaming down the halls, attracting the attention of the kadins. Hürrem hurried down her high perch, bowing briefly to the Sultanas, distress clear in her body language.

"Where is Gül Agha being taken to?" She demanded, upset by the rough handling of her servant. Valide Sultan gave her a serious, angry look that spoke volumes of what she thought.

"Gül Agha threatened Mihrişah." Hatice declared, holding me to her side protectively. "Such behaviour of a harem servant is unacceptable." Hürrem's eyes were on me, narrowed and plotting.

"What did you accuse him of?" She demanded, clearly addressing me. "What are you lying about now?" Her accusation was meant to take the heat off of her servant, and put me in a bad light. Nilüfer, my Nilüfer and not her servant (also called Nilüfer), faced the warring kadin head on.

"We all saw how Gül Agha took Mihrişah's arm and held her captive, whispering furiously. His manner was threatening and suspicious." She told them, Fatma and Efsun joining her, along with several other Cariyes who supported her statement. Hürrem wanted to defend him, but there were too many witnesses to the bad behaviour of her servant. Gül Agha wasn't shy to show his favour towards the second kadin, even going against Valide Sultan's orders to help the woman. And now he paid for his thoughtless actions.

"He did nothing wrong." She shot at us, before following after the aghas. I sighed, feeling suddenly weak from the confrontation. All my energy should be for the wellbeing of my future child, and I was wasting it defending myself from Hürrem and her lackeys. Someone grabbed my other side, and I rose my eyes to see Daye Hatun's strong hands supporting my weight. Valide Sultan's hands were on my face, taking in my pallor and temperature.

"She's pale." Valide commented, worried. She turned to Daye Hatun. "She should be seen by the harem doctor."

"Yes, my Sultana." Daye nodded to Nilüfer, who hurried to take my weight from Hatice Sultan. And like that, they brought me to the harem doctor. All was a haze to me. All I heard was 'low sugar', 'stress' and 'bad for the baby's health'. A spoon of some concoction was held to my lips and I took it, swallowing the bitter medicine. And soon, I was asleep.

"You have to abstain from anything that will stress you." Valide Sultan told me gently once I woke up from a brief nap in the infirmary. The doctor kept me there, where Valide Sultan visited to see how I faired. I smiled weakly.

"I do try, my Valide." I offered, shrugging. "I don't look for confrontations. I had just arrived from Sultan's chambers, and he approached me, saying Hürrem Sultan had ordered my presence. But I wanted to see the doctor and he wouldn't let me leave." She caressed my gently, listening attentively.

"I have told Nilüfer she's not to leave you unattended." Valide reinforced, exasperated.

"There's nothing she could've done to Gül Agha." He has power and Nilüfer wouldn't counter him. "He would simply do it, regardless of her presence."

"She's right, my Valide." Daye Hatun agreed. "Gül Agha would've done it anyway, even with Nilüfer's interference." Nilüfer looked chastised, nevertheless. Remorse would gnaw her inwards if she wasn't soothed. Valide Sultan left soon, charging Daye Hatun to keep an eye out for me. Nilüfer sat silently by my bed, her face showing the sadness of being powerless.

* * *

Suleyman requested my presence and company more and more, disregarding my pregnancy. Valide Sultan was unhappy by his focus on me, the same way he would act with both Hürrem and Mahidevran, instead of calling a Cariyes or Gözde to walk the Golden Path. Not that she could do much when the Sultan's will was absolute, her displeasure was surely not hidden from anyone. Especially not me. She would call me frequently and drill me on the child's health, even going as far as having the harem doctor check on me in her chambers. I'd submit willingly to these probing questions and constant check-ups, to appease the old woman. Gülfem would smile at me through all of this, and roll her eyes from behind Valide Sultan, to show me she thought Valide was being too overzealous. I would smile back and shrug slightly. All of this was unnecessary, Suleyman called me only for company and conversation, nothing more. He would work on his documents or jewellery, while I'd read, or even help with little political details. What I knew of European politics previous to my entrance in the Ottoman harem, could help Suleyman approach their ambassadors or envoys. With King Louis dead, he could look elsewhere for his next conquest. His goal was Rome, as it had always been with his ancestors. But, most of the time, he kept to himself. During our conversations, I realised he was mostly distracted by something in his mind. He would stare into the distance frequently, leaving me to wait for him to come back and notice we were in the middle of talking about this or that. Of course, I would simply wait, instead of interrupting. During meals, I'd wait for the silence to end by eating small bites, stealing glances in his direction, watching him rip the bread in pieces, his eyes vacant and staring out of the open window. I'd wait for him to wake up from his reverie and smile to me, then speak as if his mind hadn't been lost in whatever dilemma he faced. One particular day, Sümbul told me I was to go later to the Sultan's chambers, as per his instructions. The moment I arrived, with Metike and Nilüfer in tow, carrying trays of food for our lord's pleasure, Valide Sultan walked out. Immediately, I put my back to the opposite wall, bowing low. My two friends did the same, despite their burdens. Valide looked at me briefly and left. I could see she was in a terrible mood, but gave it little importance. The agha indicated I was to enter, so I walked in, my friends behind me. Once within the room, I bowed and gestured for them to set up the table, as they usually do. Suleyman stood by the fireplace, looking into the fire, his face contorted like a grim mask, too many emotions, none good. I approached, but let him dwell in his thoughts until he tired himself of his musings. He looked disturbed, and Valide Sultan had looked angry when she left these same rooms. I knew, from seeing them both, Valide Sultan had been with him to complain about something. Things had been tense as of lately around the seraglio and with the unrest in Anatolia. To Suleyman, there was no peace in the palace.

"Are you going to stand there and stare at me?" His voice echoed suddenly, and I jumped in fright. His eyes were hard, like frozen water of the ponds. His voice was cold, hard and unyielding. I hadn't heard this from him. From the corner of my eyes, I saw the two girls tremble at the tone of voice he used. I bowed again, hoping to diffuse his terrible mood.

"I apologise, my lord. I didn't want to disturb you, you were deep in thought." I tilted my head in the direction of the door. "Maybe I should go, I do not wish to anger you further." He shook his head, sighing deeply.

"Come back later." He told me shortly, turned and walked to the balcony. Nilüfer and Metike were immediately at my side, their faces grim with worry. I shrugged and walked out. I was a little upset, the sudden dismissal wounded me. But Suleyman clearly needed time to think. Outside the room, we met Hürrem walking up to the Sultan's room. She smiled, seeing me leave.

"Leaving?" She asked, amused. I smiled back.

"Sultan isn't feeling well, he asked me to return later." I had a sudden idea, I pointed to the door and smiled. "Will you ease our lord's heart?" Everyone around me stared, as if I had grown an extra head. But I simply bobbed my knees and walked away, hiding a grin. Once we were far enough, I turned and hid behind a pillar, hoping it was the perfect spot for what I wanted. Nilüfer and Metike hid behind me, but from their faces, they thought me mad.

"What are you doing?" Nilüfer hissed, angry. "You gave Hürrem an advantage-"

"No, I didn't." I cut her off quickly. "Our Sultan is clearly angry. And Hürrem is trying at best, and an eyesore at worse. I'm betting she will make a nuisance of herself." I pointed out. All we had to do was wait. I ignored their brooding silence, and watched how, minutes later, Hürrem stormed down the hall, fighting tears. I felt bad for the second kadin, knowing I had set her up for the disappointment of facing an angry Sultan, but she deserved it. Remorse gnawed at my insides for the rest of the day, however. Because it could have easily been me.

* * *

Suleyman was in a better mood the next day. Granted, he never called for me, and I heard from Daye Hatun Valide Sultan was indisposed, and had turned Mahidevran Sultan away. Daye had visited me later, she worried about my health and that of my child. It warmed me, and I told her that. She chuckled and patted my cheek.

"We must look after our own." She told me. "And you are one of our own, Mihrişah, never forget that." She was always busy, caring for the Sultanas and the harem. Such a thankless job…

"How's Hatice Sultan?" I asked. Hatice had been to the palace the day before, but had left just as fast.

"Worried, Mehmed is ill and she has been beside herself." I must've looked frightened, for she hurried to comfort me. "Do not concern yourself, they will be well. And so will you." There were no words, all I could do was nod. I had no time to fret over the subject. One of the kalfas called me to meet Suleyman in his chamber. Fatma went with me, in Nilüfer's stead. The Sultan was much better, even smiling and welcoming me with open arms. One hand on my back, the other extended in front of him, he guided me to the small intricate table, ready for us to share a meal.

"I'm glad to see you in better mood." Seeing him smile was a relief. His previous rejection stung, but I tried not to dwell on the subject.

"I'm better, after seeing my sun." He tapped me under the chin, for one moment, embarrassment coloured my cheeks.

"Will you work here today?" I asked, between bites, steering the conversation away from me.

"I will." He said, pouring some food in my plate. "But later. For now, we'll relax and share the meal." Once we ate the meal, Suleyman settled at his table, his tools put away and scrolls brought by an agha pilled to the side. He perused each one, jotting down small notes or organizing official documents with his tughra drawn perfectly beforehand. Bali Bey was admitted mid-afternoon, bearing more documents. I expected to be told to remove myself from the room while they discussed politics, but none of them gave me much attention. From what I heard, they spoke of a new rebellion in Anatolia, which was growing in such size, Behram Pasha struggled to repress it. He had sent messengers to Istanbul, asking for aid in dealing with the rebellion.

"Are things in Anatolia that bad?" I asked Suleyman, while he read one of the scrolls brought by Bali Bey. I looked from one man to the other. Bali Bey clearly deferred to Suleyman, hoping not to have to explain. Suleyman chuckled and put his free hand on my head, the other still holding the document. Suleyman nodded in my direction, a clear gesture that Bali Bey was to speak of the situation.

"Kalender Shah has been gathering support from Turkmens and Sipahis, and as he goes, more and more villages fall to him." Bali Bey spoke in my direction. "They are confined to Maraş and Behram Pasha is trying to quell it before it spreads further. Still, the peasants are gathering in force behind Kalender Shah and we should address this before it spills out of the area." I scratched my chin, while thinking of the implications of such rebellion. If it spilled out of Anatolia, not that I believed it would, the European leaders could take the chance to start eating at the European borders of the Ottoman Empire. I was brought out of my reverie by Suleyman's amused chuckle. Apparently, my expression amused him and he patted my head gently.

"Don't worry, my sun." He told me. "They won't reach the palace." I sighed. That wasn't the reason I asked, and I would've said it, if it weren't for Ibrahim Pasha arriving then, announced by the agha. He bowed in front of Suleyman's desk, nodding to Bali Bey briefly, who nodded his greetings back.

"I have assigned Ayaz Pasha to deal with this rebellion." Suleyman stopped what he was doing, and his eyes unfocussed for one moment. Ibrahim awaited his confirmation of the appointment, Bali Bey standing there, waiting for his orders as well. Then Suleyman snapped out of his thought. His clear blue eyes were on Ibrahim Pasha, determined.

"Ayaz Pasha will remain here." He said, surprising us all. "You will go, Ibrahim. Gather the necessary troops and show Anatolia your power as Grand Vizier." To send the Grand Vizier was a gesture that Suleyman gave importance to the rebellion. It also meant he wouldn't suffer traitors and riots, he would destroy them with all his might. And the instrument of his justice would be Ibrahim. Once it was spoken, Ibrahim bowed and arrangements were discussed, for the size of the army needed and provisions for the entirety of the campaign. Logistics always bored me, so I went back to my book.

* * *

Apparently, whatever disturbed Suleyman, spread like a disease. Ibrahim Pasha hurried down the corridor, looking stricken. I stepped out of the way, and he gave me no greeting, such was his hurry. Nilüfer appeared right away, her face showing confusion.

"Where were you?" I asked, annoyed. She hadn't been there when I left Suleyman's room.

"I'm sorry." She was honestly repentant for not being there, waiting for me. "I saw Hürrem walking by and I followed. I hid behind a pillar."

"What was she doing here? Sultan didn't call for her." She smiled.

"Ibrahim Pasha did. He confronted her about something." Nilüfer said, shrugging. "There was some talk about Leo."

"Who was that?" I was confused by the name. It wasn't Turkish.

"Well, Ibrahim Pasha had a Ukrainian artist paint his palace, as well as paint Sultan and Hürrem Sultan together." She shrugged. "It's said he finished the portrait and the palace, and returned to Ukraine." This was a new development.

"Portraits are forbidden." I said, confused. The story was getting more and more confusing.

"So they are, but supposedly, he was very good. He was responsible for painting Hatice Sultan's palace. And Ibrahim requested one portrait of our lord." Nilüfer told me. "Hürrem wanted one of them both. But after finishing the first portrait, he disappeared. Ibrahim Pasha said he wanted to return to his family in Ukraine, and never returned." Nilüfer shook her head. "But anyways, Ibrahim was very angry and accused Hürrem of something. From what I heard, I caught something about a guest in the Imperial Hunting lodge." Maybe that was the reason Suleyman was so distracted as of lately…

"What has Hürrem to do with whatever person is allocated there?" I asked. Nilüfer shrugged.

"I don't know either, this is all very odd."

* * *

He was constantly with his head in the clouds. His eyes seemed to look far away, as if trying to look past the walls, to something beyond the palace. He was absent from the Topkapi Palace, without telling anyone where he went. Sometimes, he took Sümbul Agha with him. Was the guest at the hunting lodge the cause of his sudden absences and distraction? I wondered about the information Nilüfer had found, snooping on Ibrahim and Hürrem, as I watched his face, while Nilüfer helped me dress for the day. I couldn't help but smile. He was so handsome, so…valiant. He caught me staring and gave me a boyish grin. I felt my cheeks burn, but I felt no shame and matched his grin with one of my own.

"What is your agenda for today?" He asked, with a playful tone. The aghas helped him dress an elegant kaftan of crimson Bursa silk and embroidered tulips in gold thread and tiny gems shone randomly with the light from candles and the sun that entered through the open windows. He was teasing me.

"Hmm…" I looked at the luxurious ceiling, feigning deep thought, before looking down at him. "I would clean the harem, then serve breakfast after dancing for Sümbul Agha." I told him with the best serious face I could muster. He blinked and let out a hearty laugh, tapping my chin with his ringed finger.

"My, why would you dance for Sümbul Agha?" He asked, amused. I shrugged.

"Maybe to learn new moves." I told him innocently. "After all, he was the one who taught us to dance. At first, I mean." He grinned again, holding back laughter. "Sümbul Agha is very talented." I deadpanned, which made him laugh again, booming laughter that filled the room easily. I laughed with him, infected by his mirth.

"My Mihrişah." He sighed, once the laughter died. Then he smiled. "After prayer, come to me. We're going out of the palace." My heart swelled. I hadn't left the palace since coming. I haven't seen Istanbul, it was such a good opportunity! I took his large hand in mine and placed kisses on his knuckles.

"My lord! Thank you!" He patted my cheek, then turned around, clearly dismissing me for the moment. I skipped out of the room (or tried to, with my growing belly), Nilüfer following cheerfully. She ran off once we reached the main room, only to appear moments later carrying veils for the both of us. She helped me put on mine, and I helped her on her turn. We joined Valide Sultan for prayer in her chambers right after, by the Sultana's request, as did Mahidevran Sultan. Hürrem was absent from the gathering, but I was too happy to wonder about her. Prayer ended, we gathered around the Valide's divan. I fidgeted, because I wanted to leave but felt it was improper to do it so soon, and I couldn't keep myself from smiling. Mahidevran noticed this.

"Why so cheerful, Mihrişah Hatun?" She asked, accepting the sherbet Gülsah served. I had refused mine, too queasy to enjoy the sweet taste.

"Our lord promised me a surprise." I spoke vaguely. "I'm anxious to know what it is." It wasn't a lie, of course. He had said nothing of where we would go. But it didn't matter, I would enjoy the excursion, even if I never stepped out of the carriage. It would suffice, anything would be better than the luxurious, yet boring walls of the harem. If they wanted to question me, however, they were thwarted, as Sümbul Agha sought entrance to the chambers.

"Sultan sent me." He announced, eyeing me, one of my cloaks folded on his arm. "He wishes Mihrişah Hatun to join him." Valide Sultan wanted to protest, but Suleyman's will was supreme. She sighed and gestured me to join him. Nilüfer hurried after us, as we walked through the halls of the Royal Wing, but Sümbul Agha stopped when we reached the double doors of the main harem room. "Nilüfer Hatun, you're to remain here." Her face fell like a sail deprived of wind. I was shocked to silence, unable to speak as he helped me put on my cloak.

"Why?" I demanded. "Am I to be unattended? Sümbul, are you hiding something from me?" I asked, feeling rather cold at the sudden change of plans. He gave me an odd look.

"Me? By Allah, nothing of the sort, Hatun." He told me jovially, but he seemed a little nervous. "Sultan ordered for you to come, I'll attend you, of course." I gave him the most suspicious look I could muster, he tsk'ed and shooed Nilüfer, who left very reluctantly, then led me to the gardens, where a luxurious carriage awaited, two aghas patiently waiting for orders to depart. I became even more nervous. Suleyman wasn't around.

"Where's the Sultan?" I asked again, now trembling in my shoes, wondering what mischief Hürrem planned this time. Sümbul tsk'ed again, raising his hand, to point at the sky.

"Allah in his Paradise, Sultan commanded to take you to him. I can't tell you where he is, you'll see for yourself." I sighed, gathering my wits and composing myself. Suleyman wouldn't betray me and Sümbul wasn't Hürrem's creature, like Gül Agha. I allowed my insecurity get the better of me. I gave Sümbul a trembling smile and let him aid me enter the carriage. He smiled back and didn't comment on the weirdness of the scene. "It's the first time you leave the Topkapi Palace, isn't it?" He asked pleasantly, and I nod.

"I've not seen the outside of the golden halls since my arrival." I told him truthfully and I peek through the lattice covering the sides of the carriage. I drink in the little I could see through the holes, all I saw was greenery. "I wonder where we are going." I turned to look at Sümbul Agha, whose lopsided smile and tilted head made me feel silly for the earlier incident. I watched, mesmerised, to the beauty of the forest park and suddenly, I missed my old life. I missed my horse and my brother and sisters…but it was folly to continue that train of thoughts. I turned to Sümbul Agha. "Are we going somewhere?" He smiled and pointed. Through the latticework covering the windows, I managed to see a building looming ahead. "What is that?" I asked.

"That is our lord's Hunting Lodge." He replied, smiling. "He wanted to show this to you, Mihrişah." I was so curious, I had to put my hands under my growing belly to stop from fidgeting. Soon, the carriage came to a stop, and the door opened. Sümbul Agha climbed down first, turned and stretched his hand. I allowed him to help me out of the carriage, suddenly amazed by the beautiful building in front of me. Unlike the palace, the hunting lodge was of a red colour, with rows of windows without latticework covering them. A change from the Topkapi Palace. Sümbul touched my sleeve to catch my attention, and I blushed. The novelty had caught me unaware, and I had to compose myself. He smiled, saying nothing of my temporary lack of composure, and guided me to where Suleyman stood, in light riding clothes and a black turban on his head, the only jewellery on his, other than the rings, was the large sapphire brooch on the turban. He stood on a platform by the lake, with benches and pillows. I bowed to him, grabbed his hand, placed a kiss on the back of his hand then brought it to my forehead. This was a more precious gift than jewels, or gold. Fresh air and the opportunity to escape the suffocating walls of the harem. Suleyman smiled fondly and held my hand.

"Do you like this?" He asked, his free hand caressing my hair not covered by the veil.

"Very much, my lord." I said truthfully. "To breathe this fresh air and walk on this ground…I wonder if this is what Allah feels when he walks in his Paradise." He grinned and placed a kiss on top of my head. I was drinking the view, enjoying the well-manicured gardens of the hunting lodge, ignoring the people around. So I was surprised when a dark gowned woman walked to us, air of wounded dignity and serious. She was dark haired, long wavy hair loose down her back, rich gown in the Spanish fashion. The dark eyes stared at us, and I could see anger and misery in there. I realized this was the 'guest' staying in the hunting lodge. She was followed by another woman, her dress not as beautiful as the first, possibly her handmaid. And Meleki Hatun following them, which surprised me. She flashed me a smile, before bowing respectfully to Suleyman. The first woman didn't even bend her knees. This was such a surprise…I looked up to Suleyman, whose amusement rolled off of him in strong waves.

"My lord?" I asked softly. "Is this your guest?" He grinned, pulling me to his side and putting his hand on my belly while his other arm was on the small of my back. The gesture didn't go unnoticed to the woman, who looked angrier than before.

"Yes, Mihrişah." He replied, nodding. "This is a guest of mine, she has been staying here for a while."

"Oh?" I was curious. A woman here and not in the harem? I wonder…

"This is Princess Isabella Fortuna, from Castile." He introduced me to the dark haired woman, and I looked up sharply. Suleyman was amused by my sudden stricken expression. "Her boat was approached by Turkish ships, and they were kind enough to bring her to me." My heart stopped momentarily. What the hell is he thinking?

This could lead to war!


	15. Chapter 15

**Note: I'm sorry for the delay in updating, I had huge creative block (I was unable to do anything that required minimal creativity), which kept me from writing. Another aside, I don't speak Italian so I used Google Translator for this chapter and the next. Please let me know if there's anything that's not correctly translated. Please enjoy!**

 **Chapter 15**

"This is Princess Isabella Fortuna, from Castile." Suleyman introduced the forlorn looking young woman. A dark beauty of long wavy air and fiery glare directed toward the Sultan. I was in shock, mind reeling at all the possibilities in the future. _War_. "Her ship was captured by…Turkish ships." I understood what he didn't say. _Turkish pirates, he means._ Terrible. No wonder she looked so riotous, so angry, while Suleyman looked light, content, amused even. He didn't see what I saw for the future. _Or maybe he did_. I thought to myself. _And cared not one whit._ Our eyes connected and I gave her an encouraging smile, only reciprocated (weakly) by the woman standing behind her, possibly the servant captured with her. "Ibrahim Pasha brought her here as my guest." His eyes sparkled and he smiled mischievously. No wonder there had been so much drama in the Royal Family. I eyed Sümbul Agha, standing nearby curiously watching us all. I realized both Ibrahim Pasha and Şehzadeh Mustafa stood nearby with the horses. I bowed, even from afar, my sign of respect to the Pasha and Mahidevran's son.

"How thoughtful of you." I teased, smiling back at him. She was a political prisoner, possibly a slave by that point, bought from the Turkish 'gentlemen' who attacked her vessel. No wonder Seigneur Gritti spent his time visiting Hatice Sultan's palace, from what Nigar had told me.

"Tu chi sei? (Who are you?)" She asked rather rudely. The Cariyes, Melek Hatun, assigned to them opened her mouth to translate but I rose my hand to stop her, smiling at the Princess.

"Saluti, principessa (Greetings, Princess.)" I bow my head briefly, more out of courtesy than respect. "Il mio nome è Mihrişah Hatun. È un piacere incontrarti. (My name is Mihrişah Hatun. It is a pleasure to meet you.)" Both women were stunned, and Suleyman looked fairly impressed.

"Tu parli italiano? (You speak Italian?)" She asked, almost fearfully. I nodded.

"Sono nato in Ungheria, ho imparato l'italiano e il francese con mio fratello. (I was born in Hungary, I learned Italian and French with my brother.)" I told her gently, to put her at ease with us. She acted like an injured animal, snapping at anyone coming too close for comfort.

"Anche tu sei stato rapito da questi barbari? (Were you also kidnapped by these barbarians?)" She asked, looking between Suleyman, who looked fairly amused at our exchange, and me. I laughed softly.

"Qui non ci sono barbari. Ero un tributo di mio padre nobile. (No such thing as barbarians here. I was a tribute from my noble father.)" I corrected her, knowing where she came with the notion of Ottomans being barbarians. Her eyes travelled to my belly, which I held in my hands protectively. I turned to Suleyman, knowing he watched every movement and every word we spoke, despite not knowing the meaning. "My lord, do you mind if I take a walk around with Her Highness?" I asked. He chuckled.

"Are you trying to escape?" He teased, eyes shining with mirth. He took every chance he had to tease me mercilessly. I pouted, playing along. He patted my cheek gently, and I savoured the touch.

"Do you believe me so little, my lord?" I whined, also entering his joke. "How can I run when I'm so burdened?" I caressed my belly tenderly. It was not very big, but I could feel its weight very keenly whenever I moved. It was an odd, but not unwelcome, weight. He put his hand on mine, eyes shining as he felt the bump under my clothing.

"Be careful, my sun." He advised, then gestured for me to go, removing his hand reluctantly from my growing belly. He smiled to the princess once more and walked to where Mustafa and Ibrahim Pasha waited with their horses. I watched for one moment, before turning to the princess. "Vostra Altezza, dobbiamo fare una passeggiata? (Your Highness, shall we take a walk?)" I asked gently, gesturing for her to accompany me. "Vorrei vedere questo giardino e parlare con te. (I wish to see this garden and to speak with you.)" Then I turned to Melek Hatun, who was still behind the princess. "Hello Melek. I wondered where you had gone." I greeted her, and she smiled back at me.

"Hello Mihrişah, you look well." She was very kind and hardworking. We didn't always talk, which was a pity. I took her arm and made her walk by my side, keeping a slow pace for my sake and the other ladies behind us. The Princess followed, one step behind me while her servant was several steps behind us. "How is everyone back at the harem?" Her question was loaded. I smothered a chuckle.

"Everyone is fine. Hürrem is still bothering our Lord." I glanced at Princess Isabella, who watched us with suspicion in her eyes. I could feel her eyes measuring me, taking in my pregnant belly, everything. I ignored her probing looks and turned my attention back to Melek. "She hasn't noticed. But it won't be long until she does." Melek's eyes shone with mirth.

"Will you tell me what happens?" She asked, eagerly. I had to laugh, she had little love for the second Kadin, being fiercely loyal to Valide Sultan as she was.

"Of course I will. I'll visit, just to tell you about it." Then I looked at Princess Isabella, who watched us interact curiously. "And the Princess as well." Melek smiled and released my arm, returning to her position behind the Princess. The Princess matched my pace, her eyes narrowed on my belly. I was curious about the woman. So I began probing her gently, little questions about her and her family. She didn't answer much, only that she hoped her fiancé would come and rescue her soon.

"Non vedo l'ora di vedere Suleyman abbattuto dal mio fidanzato (I can't wait to see Suleyman brought down by my fiancé)!" Her words were vicious, containing too much anger. I smiled sadly, I could understand her side, after all, I had begun my time in the harem in sadness and anger. But now…my hands were under my belly and I found myself smiling softly while staring down at the growing bump. Then I realized we had stopped and the women were all watching me with very different and peculiar expressions. "Is it…Suleyman's?" She asked in a hesitant and rather broken Turkish. That was really a surprise.

"You speak Turkish?" I felt a little silly for continuing to speak in Italian, when the Princess was capable of matching (albeit not very well) our conversation in Turkish.

"Un po (A little)." She confessed. "Very little." She looked at Melek Hatun, who smiled.

"I've been trying to teach her our language at the behest of Our Lord and Sümbul Agha, but she has been rather stubborn." Melek said, shrugging, then grinned, looking at Isabella. "I'm glad my persistence paid off, even if it's a little." I grinned back.

"You did well!" She glowed at my compliment. "You speak well, Your Highness. I suggest you continue practising." It would do her good to keep busy. Learning a new language would make it like time flies, instead of focussing on her sorrow and stewing in her rage towards Suleyman. "Yes, my baby is our Padishah's. Allah willing, it will be a boy."

"Allah willing." Melek intoned, fervently. The Princess was silent and I had a hard time analysing her expression. She looked angry (still), curious and…jealous?

"Sei sposato con Suleyman (Are you married to Suleyman)?" She asked suddenly, catching us off guard. I know where the question came from. As Catholic, one would expect to only bear children for one's husband. Never taking into consideration that even Catholic husbands sought other women's beds and had children outside their marital bed.

"No." We stopped at a nearby gazebo and Melek helped me sit. I was grateful for the rest, my feet hurt too much. I swear they had swollen two sizes since the time I found I was pregnant! "The Sultan has a harem. When a woman is lucky to be chosen to spend a night with him, she becomes Gözde." Her attention to my words was amusing, for someone who was, just moments ago, saying her fiancé would tear the barbarian Sultan down for kidnapping her. "Being called several times or being singled out for special moments with the Sultan, the favoured one becomes an Ikbal, the favourite. Those lucky enough to bear a boy will become a Kadin. It's the closest to being married as we come within the Ottoman harem. But we are not married to the Sultan." The women were shocked and outraged, but a closer look to the Princess showed me she was also intrigued. The Princess was bold enough to reach for my hands, holding them tight in hers, eyes shining with determination.

"When we escape," She began, causing me to blink in confusion and Melek to gasp in shock. "I can take you with us. Save you from the barbarian!" Her words were earnest, honest and full with grim resolve to achieve her goal. All of it sounded so ludicrous, laughter bubbled inside me so much I was unable to keep it in. I burst out laughing so hard, I could see through the tears that her expression turned down, frowning at my reaction. Melek's expression showed she was torn between amusement and horror at the Princess's fervent words.

"I'm sorry Princess, I meant no foul for laughing." I apologized between my bouts of giggles when I managed to calm down enough to talk. "But why would I trade a life with the man I love for one of being a pariah and a burden to my family?" The idea never crossed her, I believed. She thought it would be a kindness to save me from the immoral court of the Ottoman Emperor. I shook my head. "No, my Lady. There is no place for me in the Catholic lands. I've made my mind when I took my path. There is no alternative to my life, other than the grave."

I remained with the Princess a while after that, our conversation growing stunted and awkward. Melek talked to me and we shared gossip from the harem, making her giggle with the little shenanigans from other court ladies and aghas, under the vigilant eye of the Princess, who listened very closely to our every word, despite not knowing or understanding most of what we spoke about. We didn't broach the subject of the Kadins, but I told her what I knew of Hatice Sultan and her baby, who was ailing from birth. Eventually Sümbul Agha was sent to find us and ushered us back to Suleyman, who had sent Ibrahim and Mustafa ahead and was eager to join them but wished to make sure I was on my way to the Palace before he did.

"My Mihrişah." He greeted me with his husky tone of voice, which gave me shivers of pleasure and giddy with desire. How I burned for the man… His lips touched mine chastely, but I could taste the same fire of desire on his lips. Always with the women watching us. Suleyman paid them no mind. "Ready to return?"

"At you command, my Sultan!" I bobbed a quick curtsey. I wasn't eager to return, but I could feel fatigue setting in my bones. And I was sure Suleyman could recognise that as well. Deception didn't work on him and I would rather be truthful than risk being discovered for a lie, no matter how small it was. I turned to the Princess, who could barely keep her eyes from Suleyman, and smiled. "E 'stato un piacere conoscerti, principessa. Spero che possiamo vederci di nuovo (It was a pleasure meeting you, Princess. I hope we can see each other again)." Isabella said nothing, she nodded and tried to get Suleyman's attention, only to be thoroughly ignored. He handed me to the carriage and swiftly mounted his waiting horse and rode off. I waved one last time to Melek Hatun and the carriage set off at a slower pace, Sümbul keeping me company once more. Once we were back to the Palace, I could barely stand. Sümbul, mindful of my condition, helped me back to the main room of the harem, handing me to the nearest kalfa with orders to take me to my room and get me comfortable and fed. I was grateful for his instructions, I was nearly dead on my feet and my back hurt more than I first thought. I was intercepted by Nilüfer halfway the room, to the kalfa's displeasure, and hugged me tight. I giggled, amused by her, pain momentarily forgotten.

"So eager to see me?" I teased, pushing her off of me so we could continue our way. She grabbed my other arm, helping the kalfa support me as we walked to my chambers.

"I was afraid." She whispered, earnest, low enough not to reach the other woman. "That Sümbul Agha had taken you to die or the sort…" She went quiet when Gülsah passed us, glaring as she walked by, nose in the air.

"I was too. It was too sudden." I confessed, whispering back. "But he's not Hürrem's creature and I felt silly for doubting him." She gave me a weird look.

"What if he was bribed?"

"Sümbul?" The idea sounded ludicrous, but not completely stupid. "I hardly think he would accept bribes to get rid of one of us. Gül Agha, I believe. But not him."

"I don't trust any of them." Nilüfer grumbled, holding my arm tight in her grasp. I smiled, slightly exasperated but understanding her side of things. She was left fretting all afternoon, not knowing whether I'd return or not. Being off of my feet was such a relief, I nearly cried. My feet and back pained me more, once I sat down on my bed, Nilüfer and the kalfa were worried. I sighed.

I wanted my baby in my arms already.

* * *

The pain from the trip only increased throughout the night, not allowing me any rest. Nilüfer wouldn't sleep, no matter how many times I told her to, to Ayşe's annoyance. I slept briefly during the night hours, managing one hour here and there, but getting no proper rest from the aches. Once the morning call came from outside the closed door, Nilüfer rose from her place at my bedside and shot out of the room, despite my protests. I could hear her voice from where she called Sümbul Agha and a myriad of voices drowned hers. I sighed and settled on the bed to sleep a little longer, as I was in no state to join the others for prayer or break my fast. Sümbul Agha woke me up, having brought the harem doctor to aid me with my issues. She took her time to examine her, then set down and prepared some pain relieving concoction. Sümbul, in the meantime, ordered food to be brought in. The buzz around my chambers was of such scale, with kalfas and aghas and the harem doctor and her assistants going back and forth, it caught Daye Hatun's attention. She was at my door in little time.

"Sümbul Agha!" Her imperious voice echoed through my room, quieting everyone's actions. She was at the foot of my bed, looking down at me with a deep frown. "What is happening? Is Mihrişah Hatun's baby in distress?" Sümbul genuflected as only he did.

"Mihrişah Hatun has been suffering with pain in her back and feet." He repeated the doctor's words. "She had too much exercise yesterday and is feeling the effects today." I shrunk under Daye's stern gaze.

"You must take better care of yourself." The scolding was expected. "Valide Sultan will be notified." Daye Hatun left not long after, evidently to inform Valide Sultan of this, who came to my room at the first opportunity and I found myself being berated for my actions further by the older woman. Or, in this case, for going with Suleyman's surprise and not taking precautions with my health. I knew it would come to this, but it still rankled anyway. Mahidevran had come following the train of Valide Sultan, smugly watching me on the receiving end of Valide's anger. In the end, she stormed out to speak to Suleyman about this. Mahidevran remained behind, her solicitous tone on her queries about my health sounding too fake for me to believe or take seriously. Still, etiquette demanded I reply politely and remain with my head held high. I was no Hürrem, but I was not someone she could walk on. And the pain was leaving me with little patience for her little games. Eventually, I had to plead fatigue for her to leave. Nilüfer was the only one allowed to remain by my side. She took her music instrument and began strumming a song. The relief from the doctor's medication and the gentle tune she played lulled me into a deep sleep.

* * *

It took two days for my full recovery and Suleyman paid me several visits, carrying gifts every time he came to see me. He fully quizzed the harem doctor on my health and it warmed my soul to hear him so worried on my behalf. Nilüfer hid her smile behind the embroidery frame she held while she worked on her project, giving the pretence of us being alone. The harem doctor came frequently throughout the two days, carrying balms for my pains and smelly concoctions to help me rest through the pain. Eventually, I would be allowed to walk freely, but Daye Hatun made the point of coming to me frequently during the day, quizzing me about my comings and goings. I was unable to move around with the same freedom as before, since Valide Sultan kept me in her chamber for far longer, so Suleyman ended up visiting his mother many times just to see me. One day, I sat embroidering with Nilüfer, both sitting near Valide Sultan's divan. Mahidevran came later on, sitting opposite to us, Hürrem following on her heels like a bad omen.

"Mihrişah Hatun, I heard you were ill." Her sickly sweet voice grated my nerves and turned smiles into frowns. "Are you well enough to be out of bed? You can lose the baby if you exert yourself." Her mock concern was nothing new, Valide's eyebrows shot to the top of her hairline and Mahidevran frowned. I swallowed the bitter words that nearly spilled out of my mouth. I couldn't lower myself to her level. She did that to Mahidevran and everyone could see the result.

"No worries, my Sultana." I riposted, using my own sickly sweet tone. "Our Lord has been very conscious of my health and my baby's, we will be fine and he will be born healthy and strong, like our Lord."

"Allah willing." Valide Sultan intoned, smiling at my answer to the rebellious Kadin.

"Allah willing." Mahidevran echoed, a bittersweet expression souring her beautiful features. Hürrem didn't bother echoing Valide's words. Sümbul arrived then, grinning cheerfully. Hürrem perked up, I was curious at his arrival. He looked too happy.

"My Valide...Sultan is calling Mihrişah." He said, toning down the cheerfulness of his demeanour. I turned my gaze to Valide, who had hardened her expression.

"Mihrişah is still recovering from the exertion from several days ago." She chided Sümbul, aggravated by the Sultan's summons. "He cannot take her out like this, it'll be bad for the baby."

"My Valide, she should go." Hürrem said, giving me a wicked look. "Perhaps the exercise will be good. Air is good for babies. I can say, after giving Suleyman 4 healthy children." She used the amount of offspring she gave birth as a weapon against the Bas Kadin.

"The quantity of babies isn't as important as how these new beings end up being." I told the second Kadin. "After all, only the smartest and best Şehzadeh will inherit the throne. And Mustafa is the best choice. Because you're not his mother." I gave her a pointed look, along with my sharp insult, before leaving with Sümbul. I would pay for the insult, but I cared less.

"How is the Princess?" I asked Sümbul.

"She's the same. Causing trouble whenever she can." He 'tsk'-ed and I felt bad for him. Having to serve the harem and shuffling back and forth to the hunting lodge wasn't easy. And seeing Gül Agha, through the corner of my eyes, watching us like a hawk, I thought Hürrem should be making his life even harder with her lackey on his tail. I didn't dwell on it too much. Such things would happen frequently within the harem. All I cared for was spending time with Suleyman. He had called me simply for company while he worked. When I arrived to Suleyman's door, Sümbul bade me wait and entered. He came out one moment later, smiling.

"Sultan is with the Grand Vizier, he will call you as soon as the meeting ends." He said, smiling. I nodded and hoped not to wait too long. He didn't take much until the doors opened and Ibrahim exited Sultan's chamber. I bowed respectfully and Ibrahim nodded in my direction.

"How is Hatice Sultan? And Mehmed?" I asked, hoping for good news on the Sultana.

"They are improving. Allah willing, they will be recovered soon." From what I knew from the brief reports I've heard, Hatice was going crazy with worry over the baby, who had been ill since birth. "Nigar Kalfa and Gülfem will be with them, while I'm off on Sultan's business." Oh yes, the rebellion.

"Are you leaving now, Pasha?" I asked cheerfully. He smiled.

"Indeed, Mihrişah Hatun."

"I hope you come back in time to see the next child being born." I told him jokingly. "Or you'll miss the celebrations." He laughed wholeheartedly, but it was cut short quickly. Looking over my shoulder, I had to stop myself from groaning. Hürrem was walking in our direction, a smiling mask on her face.

"Pasha!" She called cheerfully. "It's good to see you before you leave." Her fake smile didn't reach her cold eyes. I wish I could match her fake smile but at least I tried not to frown at the interruption. Ibrahim, however, managed to match her cutting words with his own.

"Likewise." He nodded. "Because I'd like to leave with your blessings."

"Of course, or else you might not return." She wiggled her eyebrows. "But don't be sad, the icons you set in your yard will save you." I bristled in Ibrahim's defence. That was a low blow, even for her. The veiled insult was not dismissed as easily by the Pasha, who sighed but kept his cool.

"His Majesty is not available." He told her. "As you know, he is very busy nowadays, right, Mihrişah Hatun?" I inclined my head in agreement.

"He is very busy." We shared a knowing grin, thinking of the issue with the Princess and the rebellion.

"He won't be able to allocate time for you." He told her, then turned to me. "He did call you to meet him, Mihrişah Hatun. About that subject…?" He told me tentatively.

"Ah, yes, I know. Thank you for telling me." I turned to Hürrem, whose mask had shattered completely and she looked positively furious by the dismissal by a mere Ikbal and the Grand Vizier. "If you excuse me, Sultana…" I bowed and walked into Suleyman's room, not daring to look back, at the amused face of Ibrahim and Hürrem's scowl.

* * *

I was sewing a small gown in the main harem room, surrounded by my friends, when Mahidevran Sultan approached us. I lowered the cloth and paid the attention she obviously demanded with her presence.

"Mihrişah Hatun, are you well?" She asked, all solicitous. I smiled and nodded respectfully.

"I'm alright, my Sultana." I caressed my growing belly. "This ruffian kicks plenty of times. I'm bruised all over." We shared a giggle among ourselves then I jumped. "Again! He just won't stop."

"Where?" Metike asked eagerly, hands hovering over my belly. "Can I feel?" I nodded and guided her hands to where my baby kicked more frequently and her eyes widened. "It tickles!" Suddenly, everyone clamoured to feel my baby, leaving Mahidevran out of the conversation. I looked up at her and smiled while they all argued among themselves about feeling the baby. From her expression, I could see that she wanted to talk to me, but crowded as I was by the girls, she was reticent to order them away, lest everyone believed she had nefarious intents.

"Where is Şehzadeh Mustafa?" I asked, voice sounding over their voices. I wondered if the Şehzadeh was with the tutor or with Valide Sultan.

"Sultan took him for a horse ride through the Imperial park." She told me proudly, hoping to rile me up apparently. It would take much more than that.

"I'm glad, Şehzadeh should see his father more." I simpered, annoyed at myself for falling to that. "Do you know where they went?"

"I think they would go to the hunting lodge." She tried to sound mysterious and failed miserably. So, Suleyman took Mustafa to see Isabella again. "Mustafa said Sultan is hosting a female guest there."

"Oh, I know." I told her simply, to her surprise. "I've met her already."

I was walking to Bali Bey's room with Sümbul, when I saw Suleyman had returned from his ride with Mustafa, but he was scowling deeply. I wondered what had happened. I looked at Sümbul, who shrugged, not knowing what had happened.

"My Lord?" I called tentatively, wondering what had happened to have him so aggravated. He looked over at me, eyes flashing in anger briefly before they softened.

"My sun." He took my hands in his and kissed them briefly, after I bobbed a quick curtsey. "bring her later, Sümbul." He addressed the agha, smiling at me. "I have business to attend and I would like to see you once all is over." He was preoccupied, I could see it in his eyes. But I didn't take it personally. Still, his forehead was wrinkled, as he kept frowning while talking to us. I reached up and caressed the wrinkles, to his amusement. They vanished completely once his smile became honest and wide.

"If you need me, I'm here, my love." I told him earnestly, boldly forgoing the title. It had the desired effect. The weight he had on his shoulders was lifted and he looked radiant.

"If the sun doesn't shine for me, the eternal night would leave me in sorrow." He said, pulling my face so he could place a tender kiss on my forehead. "Now I must go. Bring her later, Sümbul." He gave the agha a pointed look and vanished into his room.

"Sounds like something terrible happened." I said, curious. Sümbul shrugged.

"Princess Isabella has a nasty habit of riling our Lord up." He told me, annoyed. "She should behave according to the situation."

"She has a hard time accepting it." I explained as he knocked on Bali Bey's door. "It's not easy for those of European nobility to find themselves in slavery." Sümbul gave me a sidelong glance and I grinned. He understood I spoke of myself. My own situation had been terrible, despite not being as brutally captured as Isabella had been. Still, I made the best out of a terrible situation. It would take some time to convince her to do the same.


	16. Chapter 16

**Note: I believe you've been waiting for a while… :)**

 **Chapter 16**

I visited Isabella one more time. Since we kept a closer touch (Suleyman allowed the correspondence, amused by my request), I thought it would be nice to leave the Topkapi Palace and see her before I went into seclusion for the baby's birth. Bali Bey accompanied me that time, since Ibrahim Pasha was still dealing with the rebellion and it seemed like he wouldn't be back soon. Sümbul Agha was going to the hunting lodge, to take care of the household management there, so we travelled together. Once we arrived, he helped me out of the carriage. I had taken to walking slowly, my feet hurting from the swelling and my back from the large bulge. Melek was waiting for us, smiling.

"Oh, are you here to welcome us? How nice of you." I told her cheerfully, thanking for her help as she moved to support me while we walked into the building.

"Actually, Princess sent me to address Sultan Suleyman if he was with you. But you are a welcome visitor." She told me.

"I'm glad to see you too."

"How long until the baby is born?" She asked, tentatively hovering a free hand over my belly. I took the hand and put it there, so she could feel the rebellious baby within.

"Not long. Doctor tells me 2 months. Maybe 2 and a half until we have another beautiful little Suleyman in the harem." We giggle at the idea of a tiny Suleyman running through the halls of the seraglio, wooden sword in hand imperiously commanding an army of aghas while the women watched. That would be such a lovely sight, it made me sigh.

"You'll have him in your arms soon enough." She consoled me.

"I know. I'm eager to have my baby in my arms. Regardless of gender." We reached the Princess's room, the aghas opened the doors without waiting for our request. Carmina was at the door, ushering us in and going out for refreshments. I was about to greet Princess but she fell to her knees in front of me, alarming me. Melek pulled me back, half protecting me from the half crazed woman. "What's wrong?" I looked at the kneeling woman, who looked so haggard, unlike Melek who looked a little saddened but not entirely bothered by whatever left Isabella grieving.

"Il mio fidanzato, Friedrich, è stato catturato! Per favore aiutami a salvarlo (My fiancé, Friedrich, has been captured! Please help me save him)!" She begged suddenly, grabbing my hands and holding them tight in her grasp. These were news I hadn't heard. My eyes turned to Melek, who looked sad for the foreign woman, but shrugged. She didn't seem to care much. She liked the Princess, but not enough to risk herself for the woman.

"Come è stato catturato? Non capisco (How was he captured? I don't understand)." I told her sincerely. The woman was too nervous to discuss the issue, I had to look to the Cariyes who shrugged.

"The Prince was caught halfway to the hunting lodge. At the same time, Sultan was coming to visit us and saw the guards dragging away the Prince." Melek explained. I gave a sympathetic look to the Princess, who held deep sorrow and grief in her eyes, as well as despair over the fate of her betrothed. I beckoned her to rise, it made me uncomfortable to see her kneeling before me. Melek helped me sit and I felt relief at getting off of my feet. Isabella stood nearby, hands nervously turning a piece of the gown she wore. "Sultan came here, he talked to the guards but ignored the Princess's request to meet. Sümbul visited later that day and told her he would definitely be executed for having intruded our Lord's residence and for attempting to steal what is his." She meant, the Princess who was now a slave owned by Suleyman.

"Per favore aiutami a salvare il mio fidanzato! Voleva salvarmi dal barbaro e essere catturato! Lo uccideranno! (Please help me save my fiancé! He wanted to rescue me from the barbarian and got caught! They will kill him!)" Her wails echoed through the beautiful room, causing my heart to hurt for her plight. I was reminded of my own brother.

"Principessa, non possiamo andare contro il comando del nostro Signore. Lui possiede il mondo. Apparteniamo al suo harem. (Princess, we cannot go against our Lord's command. He owns the world. We belong to his harem.)" I was gentle with how I spoke to her. As if calming a scared and wounded animal. "Non importa quello che diciamo, il Sultano farà ciò che vuole, perché ha il potere su tutto. Viviamo e moriamo come vuole. (No matter what we say, the Sultan will do as he pleases, for he has the power over everything. We live and die as he wills it.)"

"Please!" She begged, falling to her knees again and grabbing my gown. Her hands trembled as she held to the silk of my skirt. "Tell Suleyman I need to speak to him!" I sighed, the pleas were too passionate. I could've been in the same predicament, had my brother been caught by the aghas when he invaded the seraglio to see me. I couldn't tell her no and, besides, I would report everything to Suleyman. For she was his prisoner and he would want to know what we talked about. Anything that could be useful to him, should never be kept from him. Besides, the better informed he was, the safer he would be when facing European armies.

I looked at Melek, letter in hand. The Princess had hurried to scribble a letter, hands trembling so much half of her letter was scratched out and rewritten in all haste, then shoved into my hand with passionate pleas to have Suleyman come and meet her. They walked me to the door, not daring to walk out of the door in fear of the guards. Melek accompanied me to the waiting carriage. I was amused and confused by the Princess's trust in me. Melek's eyes shone, she was sad for the Princess's sake but not really moved by the woman's pleas.

"Did she ask this of you?" I had a suspicion and it was confirmed by her small nod. I sighed and shook my head, stuffing the letter in my sleeve. "What did you do to it?"

"I told Sümbul Agha and he took me to our Padishah, I read it to him." Melek told me as we both walked down the small path leading to the door to the well arranged road. I sighed again and caressed my bulging belly, wincing slightly as I felt my baby kick fiercely. He knew of his mother's inner turmoil. Bali Bey waited patiently by the horses, bowing as he reached his side.

"Ready to leave, Mihrişah Hatun?" He asked politely but with plenty of energy that made Melek blush. I giggle and bowed back.

"Yes, thank you, Bali Bey." He helped me climb into the carriage, nodded to Melek and walked away to his awaiting horse. "Take care, Melek." I held her hand tenderly, squeezing it to transmit strength. She smiled wanly and released when the carriage began moving. I waved before sitting down properly. I had to prepare myself for confronting Suleyman over the Princess. But I knew her request would be in vain. I knew my Sultan. If his mind was set, then no one could move him, not even Hürrem or I. Once I arrived to the Topkapi Palace, I sought Sümbul Agha immediately, who had returned earlier to the Topkapi Palace from the hunting lodge. The first kalfa that crossed my path was dispatched to find the erratic Agha while I waited in the main room with Nilüfer, who put down a small gown she had been sewing for my child. Some of the Cariyes and Gözde had taken upon the job of sewing little gowns and caps for my child and I paid them for each piece accordingly, which made me quite popular among the ladies. There were jewels that I could part with that I would even use as payment, to the joy of those on the receiving end, despite the best having been picked by my closest friends, mainly Nilüfer. I didn't have to wait long, he arrived to the main room and I met him.

"Mihrişah Hatun, I was told you want to see me." He gave me a side glance, smiling in his peculiar way. I found him too amusing, so I couldn't help but smile wide while handing him the scroll I brought with me.

"Ah, my Agha, I need no pretext to see you, but today I brought something for Sultan's eyes." I told him as he unrolled the parchment. A quick check to the words and the name and he rolled it back, then used it to wave me to follow him.

"I would rather see you without troublesome letters." He grumbled but kept a gentle pace so I could follow without exerting myself. Upon reaching Suleyman's door, he gave me back the scroll and walked in, obviously to announce I wished to see him. He came back soon enough, barely a minute had gone by when he waved me to enter. I did so, bowing as I stopped in front of Suleyman's desk. He smiled wide at my presence, the sight of my growing belly never failing to bring light to his eyes.

"My sun." He greeted cheerfully, rising to meet me. "Sümbul said you have brought me something from the Princess." He was curious, but wouldn't be happy for long.

"Yes, my Padishah." I nodded, showing him the scroll, which he took and unrolled. "I visited Princess Isabella, as I had requested, but she was too much in despair to be good company to me." I told him sadly. "She begged me to come to you and plead her case. She's grieving the possible future of her betrothed." The more he read, the deeper was the frown and the angrier he became. The aura of anger began pouring out like molten lava, reaching me and scaring me as I saw his eyes flashing with resentment at whatever Isabella had written. Suddenly I regretted bearing the news to the Sultan. It could backfire splendidly. He crumpled the parchment in his hand and glared at the wall, barely containing himself.

"Leave." Was the brusque order I received. I exchanged glances with Sümbul and we both bowed. "Sümbul, stay." He barked. Trembling, I backed out of the room, feeling faint at the sight of Sultan's anger. My legs felt numb, but I had to force them to move as I backed out of the room. I couldn't stop trembling as the doors were closed in front of me, I pressed my back to the wall and took several deep breaths, ignoring the bostanjis at the door.

"Mihrişah Hatun, are you well?" Bali Bey's voice echoed in my ears. He stood right next to me, looking worried. "Do you need anything?" I shook my head.

"Sultan's anger scared me." I told him truthfully. Bali Bey frowned and looked at the closed doors.

"Why is our Lord angry?" He asked.

"Princess Isabella asked me to deliver a message to Sultan for her, about Friedrich." Comprehension dawned on him, from the change of expressions to amused. "Did he try to invade the hunting lodge?"

"He's brave, I give him that." Bali Bey chuckled. "But dumb, the guards at the lodge realized he wasn't a servant quickly and took him down. From what I know, Princess Isabella watched as the guards arrested him."

"Poor thing." I trembled in my shoes, thinking of what could happen.

"Don't worry, Mihrişah Hatun." He sought to reassure me. "They won't be harmed. They are too valuable for the negotiation table alive than dead." I huffed.

"Of course they are." I said, letting Bali Bey experience my less known side. "Using them as pawns in negotiations and hinting for possible punishments for such valuable Prince will have Charles and the European potencies scrambling for a quick solution and Suleyman can either play them around," As I believed he was doing, from what I heard of his diplomatic work. "or he can demand great things and the European lords will fall over themselves to deliver in order to have them back safely."

"You're very knowledgeable." Bali Bey complimented me.

"I have to know this. Knowledge is power, even secluded as we are in the Sultan's harem."

* * *

With the growth of my belly and the harem doctor telling us there was one month away until the birth of my child, Valide Sultan made her will known. I was given a room in the Royal Wing, despite not knowing whether my child was a son or a daughter. It was near Mahidevran's rooms, filled with colourful tapestries, one raised area with wooden railings and surrounded by low couches with two metal tables, on the other side a large raised bed, with beautifully embroidered hangings. A fireplace filled the back wall, two couches in front of it awaited me. Valide took me to sit there, not caring we both sat on the same level, as if equals. This warmed me more than the fire itself, burning merrily on the fireplace. I loved my room and I thanked her several times, to her amusement. She made my friends, Nilüfer and Metike, my ladies and ordered them to ready me for bed, under her watch and the harem doctor's, who checked on me once I was put to bed. I felt like a naughty child being sent to bed as punishment, since Valide Sultan was the motherly figure I was sorely lacking. Daye Hatun, of course, was another motherly figure to me, both kindly albeit strict, but she was at Hatice Sultan's palace, since the Sultana and her baby were still not completely alright and Nigar Kalfa needed all the help she could get. With the toll my health was taking with the pregnancy, the harem doctor ended up disclosing all of my visits to Valide, who in turn decreed that I would be in bed rest until the birth. Not wishing to butt heads with the one ruling the harem, I acquiesced. Nilüfer and Metike stayed by my side, never leaving me alone on any given occasion, due to my health and the threat of Hürrem Sultan's 'visits'. Sümbul had to give the news to Suleyman, after he had called me that night for my company. Valide would not be gainsaid on this and we both knew it. Instead, he visited me. I had thought him angry at me for bringing bad news from the Princess, however, he showed nothing but love and tender care for me when he came that first night in the new, but foreign, room.

"Do you like your room?" He asked, sitting next to me on my bed. I was nestled under piles of warm blankets, a book of Persian poetry on my lap, comfortably tucked under his arm.

"Very much, my Lord." I gushed, still feeling very lucky and very much in love with each corner of my new chamber, despite still not feeling at ease in the new environment. "It's a pity I have to stay in bed until our baby is born." He put his hand on my belly, caressing the moving bundle and enjoying the kicks. I, however, was getting tired of being kicked and punched every hour of the day. "Our little ruffian will be with us within the month." I reminded him. Since Ibrahim Pasha had been dispatched to deal with the rebellion, Suleyman wouldn't be leaving Istanbul for a war campaign anytime soon.

"What do you think will be?" He asked me, tenderly intertwining our fingers over my belly. "What are you hoping for?" He was curious of what I would say. A Şehzadeh, like all women hoped for in the harem, he expected.

"Healthy." I told him, to his surprise. "That's all I want. But with all the fighting done in my belly, I can guess it's a boy. No gentle girl would fight as much as he does." I winced with the baby landed a particularly hard kick to my back. "I'm guessing he's coming out with a sword in hand!" Suleyman gave a booming laugh at my jest.

"He'll be a great warrior. Or she will be a great beauty." He used his poetic voice. "The joy of the sun and her Sultan. A flower born in the middle of winter, the strongest seed of our love flourishing amidst the harshest season. A beauty of pale petals but strong roots, as strong as the sun that shines for the Sultan."

"Muhibbi would love the flower, wouldn't he?"

"Muhibbi will always love the children of his sun." Suleyman assured me, placing a kiss on top of my head. Suddenly, the doors to my room slammed open and Hürrem stormed in. "Hürrem? Is this a behaviour of a Sultana?" Suleyman barked, displeased by the second kadin's actions. Hürrem stopped, her face paling at the sight of the Sultan holding me. She bowed in haste.

"I-I…" She stammered, trying to come up with an excuse. "I didn't know you were here, my Sultan."

"Obviously, or else Mihrişah would be with me in my chamber." He replied to her, deadpan voice. "This is disrespectful towards Mihrişah, who is in bedrest." He rose to his feet, approaching the embittered woman.

"I-I wanted to ensure Mihrişah was well cared for." Her excuses were as weak and fake as the smile she used.

"She's in my hands." He told her, tapping her chin with his finger. "You will never bother Mihrişah again. Or else there will be consequences." He warned her then gestured towards the door. "Go back to the children." He returned to my side, putting his arm around my waist. I watched her expression growing very bitter and angered, but she dared not reply to the Sultan. She bowed and retreated as quickly as she stormed in. I couldn't conceive why she was so angry to storm my room in the way she had. I thanked Allah Suleyman spent the night with me, or else things could've gone bad.

"Sultan spent the night here." Nilüfer said as she walked in, grinning like a hyena. I looked over the book in my hand, as she walked to my bed carrying a tray of food for me to break my fast. Suleyman had kissed my forehead and left the room to break his fast with Valide Sultan earlier. I enjoyed the moment of solitude before my friend came in with food.

"He did. We talked until we fell asleep." I lowered the book and thanked her for the plate of food she handed me, along with freshly baked bread. I starved, especially for the wonderful bread from the private kitchen. Nilüfer took a seat on the bed near me while I ate, holding plates so I could pick a bit of everything she had brought. I gestured for her to join me in eating, there was too much food just for one person. We ate with gusto.

"I heard a commotion in here, last night." She eyed me suspiciously. I choked on the bread and coughed, she patted my back to help in clearing the airways.

"Hürrem Sultan stormed in while Sultan was with me." I was beyond confused by her outraged entrance, which ended having the opposite effect of whatever she had expected. "Why did she walk in like that?" I asked Nilüfer, who shrugged, not knowing what had happened. Metike's head popped up from the secondary room, where they stayed. I was wondering where the girl was.

"I think someone was bragging that you'll be a better Sultana than Hürrem and Hürrem is going to end up in Eski Palace. She flew into a rage and Gül Agha had a hard time containing her." Metike told us meekly, half afraid of our reaction. I shook my head, disapprovingly while Nilüfer laughed so hard she cried.

"Those girls are troublesome." I chided, unable to conceal the mirth I felt. "Metike, come eat with us!" I told her and she skipped across the room, plopping on a large pillow by the side of the bed. "They caused me trouble. I appreciate the support but they riled her up unnecessarily and this could've ended very badly."

"Some are very bitter because of Hürrem's powers over the Sultan." Metike told me. She was a very quiet girl, so quiet people had a tendency to speak too much and she heard more than most people should. I was glad she was my friend, her loyalty would prove very valuable in the future. "If you're able to diminish her influence on the Golden Path, they will take the chance to face her."

"Still, I'm not sure I'll be able to completely extricate the Sultan from her grasp. It doesn't help if they begin facing Hürrem out of the blue. She's still the second Kadin and a wrong move could be very costly to the harem as a whole." I hoped my words would reach the rest of the girls of the harem, through my friends. They needed to be careful with their words and actions, or else I'd end up being affected by their carelessness. From then on, my days became quite boring. I would only leave the bed for my needs, or to use the hammam. I was never without one of my friends and they never dared to venture far away, unless they could have someone stay by my side. Valide Sultan came frequently, sometimes going through the layette of my baby with me, gushing over the tiny gowns and caps sewn and embroidered by the women of the harem, sometimes quizzing me and the harem doctor for my health and that of the baby. But one particular day, she remained very little time in my room. I noticed she was very cross and I feared I had done something she shouldn't have done.

"Daye Hatun, is something the matter?" I asked the older lady, who had remained behind to talk to Nilüfer. They turned to me, both smiling. "Valide Sultan was angry, I hope I didn't offend her in any way." After going against her orders due to Suleyman's requests for my presence and visiting the Princess, I knew she had very good reasons to be angry. Ever since I was put on bed rest, she never did berate me for my previous behaviour and I was deeply thankful for it.

"No, Mihrişah." The older woman was very kind and motherly to me, she came to sit on my bed, taking my hands in hers. Nilüfer stood next to her, smiling down to me. "You were misbehaving before," She mentioned what I had thought previously, of going along Suleyman's requests and I smiled weakly. "but this has nothing to do with you. Hürrem Sultan has been causing trouble again." I sighed in relief.

"I hope she doesn't bother our Valide too much." Daye chuckled.

"Not to worry, she will deal with our Sultana as she sees fit." I looked at Nilüfer, who shrugged. I hope there would be no war in the harem. Later on that day, there was a commotion outside of my room. Being stuck on my bed was annoying, as I couldn't check the corridor and see what was happening. It vexed me. Nilüfer was outside, so I had to wait until she arrived.

"Is there a problem?" I asked Nilüfer, as soon as she walked through the doors. The noise from the corridors, mixed by the raised voices of both Mahidevran and Hürrem reached me momentarily, through the open doors, only to be muffled again once the doors closed behind her.

"Valide Sultan has reassigned Hürrem Sultan's chambers." I frowned. That was unexpected. "According to Daye Hatun, the room she currently occupies is in need of some work to fix several issues." That sounded like an excuse for having Hürrem vacate the rooms. Was this what Daye Hatun had hinted before?

"This was very sudden. I wonder why." We didn't wait long to know why. Two days later, the room was assigned to Şehzadeh Mustafa.

"The Bas-Kadin must be thrilled." Nilüfer sniggered mischievously, after announcing Valide Sultan's decision. I was confused. So many rooms in the royal wing, why not take another? Why assign Hürrem's room to Mustafa? Just because Hürrem was causing chaos again in the harem, she reassigned her rooms? The confusion must've been visible, because she explained. "That room used to belong to Hatice Sultan. With the balcony at the back, it's the most luxurious of the Royal Wing, after Valide Sultan's chambers." That made sense, it was a way to punish Hürrem for crossing Valide Sultan.

"The room was offered by Sultan Suleyman and the balcony is a wonderful place to spend an afternoon." Metike said, catching the conversation halfway but realizing right away what we were discussing and entering the discussion. "From what I gleaned from the girls serving at Valide Sultan's room, this is a way of showing Hürrem she's not in charge of the harem and everything within these walls is controlled by the older woman."

"She's asserting her power over everything, even something as simple as our rooms." Nilüfer pointed out. "Mustafa is growing, so he needs a room. In a way, she's also rewarding Mahidevran who, through Mustafa, will use the balcony whenever she wishes. The Bas-Kadin is respectful and has not caused problems within the harem for a long time. Hürrem never fails to stir up people, mostly in a bad way."

* * *

I didn't have to wait for the entire month for my child to come.

The pains began like gentle pricks to my belly. Comparing to the mighty kicks my little ruffian placed, it didn't feel bad. They lasted a few hours, which began to concern me.

"I think this is very odd." Especially since my child had settled down and had stopped kicking me. I was wondering if the baby had fallen asleep. But the quietness began worrying me, since it continued the following day.

"You have been complaining he kicks too much." Nilüfer huffed, having prepared my stuff so we could go to the hammam. "Now you're worrying he's too quiet. Is there no pleasing you?" She grouched, helping me to my feet. My belly felt odd, heavier somehow, I was grateful for her aid or else I would have to roll out of the room on my own. That would've been the only way for me to move in that state, without help. I was halfway to the door when I felt a rush of water out of me, soaking my legs and my gown. I gave a great cry, grabbing my now soiled gown. Nilüfer glanced at the floor and paled

"METIKE!" She yelled, voice echoing in the room. The other girl appeared immediately, eyes widened. "Go fetch the harem doctor and the midwives! Quickly!" Metike obeyed, leaving the door open as she left, yelling as she ran down the hall. She helped me back to the bed, hammam long forgotten. From there I could barely remember the ordeal. I could recall the chaos that ensued following Metike's loud announcement of my labour. I could recall how my contractions felt, first with large intervals between each, shortening considerably as time went by. Daye Hatun had come to witness the birth, sent by Valide Sultan. It was a great comfort having the older woman holding my hand while I laboured. Midwives arrived at some point, I couldn't remember when. Servants came and went as orders were called across the room, pouring in and out of my room as the doctors and midwives demanded. Nilüfer had slipped on the bed, behind me to cradle me, leaning my back against her and to be my strength. I remember feeling the cloth she used to wipe the sweat pouring down my face and neck. One hand was held by Daye Hatun while Nilüfer held the other, serving as calming influences when the fear struck the hardest.

"Oh Daye!" I wailed, fearful. Never had the pain I felt previously given me the fear brought by my labour. "I'm so scared! What if I die?" I remember rambling while the midwives and doctors called for me to push.

"Just focus on the baby!" She reassured me. "Everything will be fine." Her words gave me some relief, but it was short lived.

"Push, hatun!" One of the midwives called, holding my legs up. "I can see the head coming! We're almost over! Push!" They called. Squeezing the supporting hands, I obeyed, pushing with waning strength. I screamed as the pain of pushing tore through my body, but I didn't relented. I pushed until I was out of breath, panted for a few moments then pushed again.

"The head is out!" The call echoed, but I couldn't focus of the chaotic movements of the people within the room. More calls to push came from all sides, Nilüfer whispered encouraging words in my ear while wiping my neck. I obeyed once more, screaming until my lungs burned with the effort, my body screamed alongside me with the pain. I screamed the loudest then. I felt my body shift amongst the pain and a rush of movement between my legs, silencing me and most of my pain.

The silence that followed was broken by the wailing of the newborn I brought to the world.

"It's a son!" The victorious cries filled the room with joy. "Sultan has a new son!"


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

My son was perfection. Plentiful downy hair on his little head, small kissable fingers I brought to my lips countless times, rugged red face I kissed countless times. He was perfection and I loved him beyond anything in the world. I could barely remember his birth, other than the pain and the effort it took to bring him out of my womb and into the world that had awaited him most eagerly.

"The girls of the harem all cheered when Metike ran there to let them know." Nilüfer's face showed the wicked joy it brought to her to remember the moment. "Even the kalfas and the aghas cheered with them. I wish I had seen Hürrem's face." Daye Hatun had remained with us for long after the birth, holding my baby as I was cleaned and the bed freshly made. I had been so tired and famished, but my eyes never left her as she cared for him. The thrill of first holding my babe to my arms would never leave me so long as I lived.

"He's a beautiful baby. Congratulations, Mihrişah Hatun." Daye congratulated me, her motherly gaze on my babe. I couldn't help the wide grin on my face. I was tired but I didn't want to sleep. I checked my baby all over, memorising each little feature of his tiny face. He scrunched his face, and I put him to my breast immediately, to which he latched on greedily. "What a strong baby." Her comment received echoes of agreement by the midwives and the harem doctors, who were still around, finishing the last tasks and directing servants while the cleaned the room. Hatice Sultan hurried through the door, smiling wide. Her presence surprised me, I hadn't expected her to leave Mehmed. Daye Hatun chuckled at my expression.

"Sultana came to the Palace after we sent word of the imminent birth of your baby." She told me.

"My Sultana, I'm so glad to see you!" I welcomed her, cradling my precious bundle.

"Congratulations, Mihrişah Hatun!" She said cheerfully, taking in the baby's perfection. "He's beautiful."

"Thank you my Sultana!" My baby eventually released my breast and I covered myself.

"Can I hold him?" She asked, arms outstretched to pick him up. I loved Hatice, she could order me to release my bundle of joy, however, she asked, giving me the option of refusing. But I trusted her.

"Of course, my Sultana!" Hatice took the baby in her arms, marvelling at the beautiful baby boy in her arms. Valide arrived not long after, having taken upon herself to bring the news to Suleyman. She came to Hatice, seeing the bundle in her arms and spared no compliment to her new grandson.

"Oh, what a perfect boy!" She gushed, giving me the widest smile I had ever seen from her. Hatice relinquished the baby to his grandmother's gentle arms, and she held him happily, praising his strong grip.

"Praise Allah for this gift!" She gushed, gently rocking him in her arms. I felt tired but content. I realised once I saw them all crowding around Valide to gush over my child that I had reached my second goal: another son for my lord. It was my victory on that day, to bring forth just precious bundle to add to the treasures of the Dynasty. Mahidevran came soon after, displeasure evident on her face, but she tried to be pleasant.

"How are you, Mihrişah Hatun?" She asked pleasantly, but she had a hard time trying to mask her bitterness.

"I am sore and tired, but very happy, thank you my Sultana." I replied respectfully, smiling. Valide Sultan nodded, watching our interaction, showing she was pleased with me. I had displaced Hürrem in our Lord's affections and given them another boy for the dynasty, and, at the same time, never tried to fight Mahidevran or sought to diminish her in our lord's eyes.

"Come, Mahidevran, see this little joyous child!" Valide called the Bas-Kadin to see the baby slumbering in her arms. Mahidevran joined, albeit reluctantly, to join them. Hürrem was the only one missing so far, but no one really cared whether she appeared or not. Nilüfer looked at me and grinned.

"Where's Hürrem?" I couldn't help but ask. Nilüfer shook her head and bid me to wait. Servants went to fetch veils for the female Sultanas and helped them don the pieces of clothing while Daye Hatun cooed over my little boy. I craved to have him in my arms, but I knew he would be brought to me soon. Metike brought me a veil and styled my hair with Nilüfer's help, both taking particular care on beautifying me. Suleyman arrived soon, his eyes shining in happiness. Valide passed my son to him, and he performed the naming ceremony, which all of them witnessed. Hürrem was the only one missing, which I was glad for. I wanted her far from my child. I took the second Kadin from my mind, for the moment was mine and my son's. And I would enjoy each and every moment of the most joyous moment. I paid attention to Suleyman, who was clearly besotted with my son, his eyes shining with unshed tears of happiness.

"Your name is Murad." Suleyman proclaimed, beginning the payers following the proclamation of the baby's name. He named my son Murad, like the great Sultans of the past. My Murad, my lion cub.

* * *

"Tell me." I asked Nilüfer, once everyone had vacated my room, finally allowing me to have my boy back in my arms. Murad was such a good baby, never crying, so far at least. Nilüfer plumped my pillows and helped me settle back down the bed, Murad right next to me, nestled near my breast. "What happened that Hürrem wasn't dragged to my room like Mahidevran?" I had no illusions that the Bas-Kadin didn't want to be there. Valide Sultan probably requested her presence, but she didn't risk displeasure to fall on her head by refusing to attend.

"I doubt Mahidevran Sultan was dragged here." Nilüfer giggled. "Well, from what I managed to get out of Fatma and Efsun, Hürrem wanted to have entertainment for the girls of the harem. She asked Gül Agha and Sümbul Agha to prepare the party. Sümbul warned Valide, who was aghast by the temerity of the second Kadin. She called Hürrem but ended up having to meet the woman halfway, because she was out and about and too busy to attend Valide when called. Something happened that made Hürrem very upset. She ended up insulting Valide Sultan in front of many of the girls who were passing by on the way to classes, as well as some of the kalfas and aghas. The worst part for her was that Sultan was walking by at that precise moment and witnessed the whole affair." I could see what had happened after. Suleyman calling Hürrem to follow him to his chamber and berating her for her behaviour.

"She grew too proud." I cuddled my son, smiling at the little faces he made while sleeping. "It's a lesson for us." I looked at Nilüfer, who silently agreed with my observation. From what I heard after, Hürrem was subdued. Through her charms and whatever feelings she managed to stir in Suleyman, she managed to remain in the palace despite the arrogance and the disrespect shown towards the head of the harem. The downside to her was that the Sultan avoided her as best as he could. He couldn't, or better yet, wouldn't avoid his children by her, though. Mihrimah, Mehmed, Selim and Bayezid saw their father frequently, without the supervision of their mother. Valide had removed the children to the royal nursery outside of Hürrem's sphere of influence, which also diminished in the harem. Concubines and servants alike breathed easy with the red-haired woman's influence weakened. Mahidevran was displeased, though. For I was another rival, who gave our lord another son, to compete against hers.

* * *

I enjoyed fully the first weeks of my Murad's life, never allowing him out of my sight, unless I went to the hammam. Even then, I never took my two friends. I tasked them with looking after my precious boy, it was my only condition to go to the hammam at all. Fatma and Efsun eagerly took the task of aiding me whenever their chores allowed, chatting happily as we went with our merry lives, also drinking in eagerly anything I shared about my boy.

"Daye Hatun and Valide Sultan shared the news with gold coins." Fatma said happily.

"It's tradition to share good fortune with everyone of the harem. Kalfas and aghas as well." Efsun told us.

"I'm glad, I'm so happy with my boy and I wish everyone could be as happy as I am." We giggled as we walked back from the hammam. We were chatting happily, without worries. I felt safe in the knowledge that Murad was with Nilüfer. How wrong I was.

"Mihrişah!" A wail echoed through the hall, startling me. We looked around, to find Metike running in our direction, holding the skirts of her gown, face red and wet with tears. My heart dropped to my feet.

"What's wrong?" I yelled, dropping the bundle I carried from the hammam and grabbing her arms, shaking her. She cried very hard and had difficulty calming down.

"Hürrem Sultan…she came to the room when Nilüfer was out, on an errand for Daye Hatun. She took Murad!" Those last words seemed to echo through the room, amplified by the sudden rage burning in my soul. HOW DARED SHE?

"Where is she?" I growled, hands becoming talons grabbing her arms. "Where is the bitch?" I yelled, not caring anymore about respect and proper behaviour.

"I-I don't know." I released her and took off, running down the hall with the girls on my tail. I yelled for Hürrem as I ran, yelling and cursing her as loud as my voice allowed. I cared not one fig who heard, who watched me run like a madwoman, tearing through the Palace looking for my son. Once I reached the main room, I frantically looked around. "Where's Hürrem?" I demanded, yelling. Everyone stopped and stared at me, half fearful, half curious. "Where is the Sultana?"

"She's in her chambers." Gül Agha called, watching me curiously. "What is happening?" He asked. I glared at him, wishing myself strong enough to strangle the bastard until he died.

"She took my boy!" I yelled at him. "Your Sultana stole my son from his nurses!" My yelling called attention of everyone within hearing range.

"Mihrişah Hatun." The most odious voice called from behind me, cheerfully. The familiar cooing of my son followed the voice. I turned around to see a smiling Hürrem, carrying my son. As if he was hers. "Your baby is so beautiful. Pity I wasn't present on the naming ceremony." I growled and lunged at her. She let out a yell of outrage and fear, nearly dropping Murad in the process. I don't know how, but I managed to grab him before the worst happened. Once he was in my arms, I felt like I could finally breathe. I threw at the red-hair bitch the worst glare, filled with as much hatred as I could muster. She had made a mistake entering my territory, the sanctuary of my room and taking my child away from its safety.

"My child is off limits, Hürrem!" I yelled, caring not one fig for whoever watched us. The second kadin looked wide eyed, a little upset too. "If you have a problem with me, then you shall do so to my face. Try anything else to Murad and I will have your head, and I don't care what Suleyman says or thinks." I instilled as much hatred and threat into my words as possible. I was furious by her callous attempt to kidnap my boy. Having him in my arms did little to soothe my frayed nerves. And Hürrem's face didn't help. She fidgeted nervously, failing completely to keep her composure, even in front of an audience. Nilüfer arrived then, frantically putting herself between the second kadin and I.

"Suleyman wouldn't forgive you if-" I cut her off then and there. She was the second kadin, in front of me in terms of being a mother of Şehzadehs for longer and such. But I was noble, and I ranked above her in that aspect. And be damned the consequences for threatening her.

"I don't care what Suleyman would do to me. I would have my revenge and I'd go merrily to death after making sure you suffered for touching what is mine." I looked to my child, then briefly to Nilüfer, before I stared, or better yet, glared to Hürrem Sultan. "Touch anything that is mine, witch, and the fires of Hell will not compare to the wildfire of my hatred that will consume you!"

I knew my facing down Hürrem would spread like wildfire. I hurried to my chamber and locked myself in, allowing no one but my two ladies in and out. Daye Hatun visited, worried by the news that I allowed no one, not even Sümbul Agha in. Valide Sultan would've come herself, but she had gone to visit her grandson Mehmed, Hatice's son. She was worried about my momentary insanity and how I had yelled to Hürrem, threatening her openly.

"She's a kadin." Daye chided me gently. I held my head with my hands, feeling a headache coming. "No matter how badly she behaves, it's not up to you to face her. You need to be careful."

"I know, Daye Hatun, I know…" I looked at my little son and I felt my heart clench. Those moments where I didn't know where he was...they were the worst of my life. "But she took my son! How could she do such despicable thing?" I asked, looking at the older woman in pain. It wounded me deeply and I was fearful of trusting anyone with my son, ever again. "If you tell me she would do nothing to my son, I will call you a liar! She's capable of anything!"

"Don't be silly, she wouldn't harm your baby. But she crossed a line." Daye Hatun agreed. "Valide Sultan will do something about it, do not fret." But her words gave me no comfort. How could they, when Hürrem respected no one, not even the mother of our Sultan?

* * *

Suleyman came to visit me later that day. He found me huddled on the couch, holding my baby in my arms. My friends had been hovering nearby, worried. He dismissed them with a wave of his hand.

"I've heard about Hürrem." He sat by my side, not caring that I didn't raise and bow as etiquette demanded. He pulled me to his side and I couldn't help it, I cried my eyes out in his embrace. Murad was quiet in my arms, his cooing doing little to calm me down. "My sun, there is no reason to cry." The words tickled my ear. "You are safe within my Palace."

"No!" I pulled away, Murad glued to my chest. I glared at him. How could he be so blind to the russelana's plots, to her true self? "She took my child, who is but a few weeks old, from the safety of my chamber. What would've happened if I hadn't brought him back? Would she throw him out of a window? What would happen to me?" The fear took me completely, terrible sobs wracked my body and I couldn't release Murad. My baby, sensing my distress, wailed in my arms. I rocked him, placing kisses on his down covered head. "Is that what you want, Suleyman? I won't allow her to hurt my child, even if I must walk through fire!" Now that I tasted motherhood, I would be a lioness defending her cub from all danger, even from the lion himself if I must. I would never back down from defending my Murad. Suleyman's eyes were on me, searching. His hands cradled my face, tenderly. The warmth and scent of his skin provoked a thrill of desire to course through my body in waves, in a way I hadn't felt before. Murad's wails broke whatever connection we had at that moment. Suleyman's hands moved to the swaddled babe, as if silently asking for permission to hold him. Reluctantly, I relinquished my son's hold and allowed his father to hold the babe. Suleyman rocked the baby with expertise, rocking the babe until his wails were replaced with charming cooing.

"Nothing will ever happen. To either of you." His eyes were on me, shining from the candlelight burning in every corner of my chamber. He shifted Murad so he could securely hold him with one arm so he could hold my face with the other hand. "The sun brought a gift to the Sultan. Ah, how strong is his grasp. The blue of his eyes are the sky on which the sun shines. And for his eyes, the sun shines." I giggled at his impromptu poem. It was cute, but he could do better. "Ah, the sun smiles finally."

"I'm sorry, my Lord." I bowed my head. I felt unsettled still, like my heart weighed too much.

"I understand. Hürrem can be quite a handful." Is he for real? Suleyman tilted his head to the side, caring and gentle expression.

"Hürrem Sultan is more than a handful, my Lord." I told him, exasperated. "She's like a natural disaster that struck the harem. Tearing everything apart with her mere presence. When she opens her mouth, fear strikes even the most valiant of men." I thought of Ibrahim Pasha, who was her enemy simply because he was Suleyman's closest confidant. "She charms the dearest of men and disarms him, leaving him blind to her darkest sins, to her most terrible crimes. She's his siren and his vice. Her hands play with his heart and when he turns his back, her hands dare to strangle those who oppose her." He was amused, enjoying the way I wove Hürrem's character in a short poetic text. "And you, my Lord?" I dared to ask. "You, who should punish her and empower Valide Sultan's decisions, throw everything to the wind, undermine Valide's orders and empower Hürrem instead?"

"My sun is bold." He said, smiling.

"I love you." I told him, throwing all what I felt for him behind my words and the way I looked at him. "I love you, I love you!" I told him repeatedly, hands grasping his free hand tight, dropping kisses on the back of his hand as I spoke those words. "I have the product of our love here, you are holding him in your arms. But Hürrem's love is not pure. Please," I begged, throwing myself to my knees, like the supplicant I was. "please don't allow Hürrem to continue with her games. She will try to throw us all into Hell so she can have you all for herself. Please spare your children from the games she will play with us. Or we will shed enough blood to drown this city!"

* * *

I was unable to leave my chamber, fearful of Hürrem's ploys. Valide Sultan visited my son daily, enjoying the sight of her grandchild growing stronger and more handsome with each passing day. She said nothing of Hürrem, didn't even drop hints of what happened to Hürrem after the scandal we caused when she took my son from my ladies. I gave no other thought to other things. Not even the fact that I had borne a Şehzadeh and I was on even grounds with her and Mahidevran. I was a threat to both kadins. Without giving thoughts to that, I went day to day, not even daring to go to the hammam for bathing. Nilüfer huffed but said nothing, bringing my food and helping me around the room as needed. One day, we were busy embroidering and mending clothes while Metike went around the chamber, tidying up, when Sümbul asked permission to enter. He carried a scroll in his hand, beckoned two aghas to enter after him. The men carried a large chest to the middle of the room and left. I tilted my head to the side, wondering what was going on.

"Hello, Sümbul Agha." I greeted, putting down my embroidery frame and rising to my feet, along Nilüfer, to bow respectfully to the agha. I wondered where the elusive agha had been lately and, all of a sudden, my thoughts went to Isabella. I wondered how she was.

"Good afternoon, my lady." He said, bowing. He was very formal, out of the blue. I exchanged a curious glance with Nilüfer and Metike, who had skipped over to where Sümbul stood, too curious to pretend she was cleaning anymore. "I bring a proclamation from the Sultan, which will be read to all of the harem and throughout the Empire, as well as gifts for you and our new Şehzadeh." I cared not one whit for the gifts, I wanted to know what was going to be announced.

"Come, tell us what is this announcement about." I asked, grinning. He unrolled the scroll and began reading the words written on it.

"From the hand of our lord Sultan Suleyman Khan, Emperor of the Ottoman Empire, his will to be obeyed, said thusly: On this day forth, Mihrişah of Hungary will be elevated to the rank of Kadin, with the title of Sultana. She shall be known as Mihrişah Sultan, mother of Şehzade Murad!" He rolled the scroll and held it to me, bowing. Nilüfer and Metike, both grinning, rose and bowed as well. My mind went blank, the only swimming in my brain were 'I'm a Sultana! I'm a Sultana!' and nothing else registered in its now empty space. "Mihrişah, are you unhappy?" Sümbul Agha asked, eyeing me speculatively. I shook my head and grinned, matching Nilüfer's and Metike's grins. We were three hyenas, exploding with happiness. I walked to where the chest had been placed earlier by the aghas. Sümbul approached me and I picked up the scroll, which was more precious than whatever gift within the chest, kissed the broken seal and brought it to my forehead. Sümbul nodded, pleased by my gesture. All of what I did and said, at that moment, would be echoed by many mouths. The scroll, with the proclamation, seemed to be the most precious of gifts awarded on that day. Or so I thought. Sümbul opened the chest and a myriad of items crowded inside. What caught my eye were the folded furs. I picked them up and unfurled them. They were the collar of a beautifully crafted winter coat. "Those are the furs only Sultanas of the Dynasty are allowed to wear. They are a gift from our Lord Sultan!" He told me as I ran my hand through the soft fur. So soft...so gorgeous.

"Thank you, Sümbul!" I gushed, hugging the coat to my chest. It would be the simplest way of demonstrating my status. "You are the angel sent by my Lord, like the angels sent by Allah to announce the good fortune of the faithful." I enthused. I held the scroll and the coat close. They were the trophies of my victory, for bringing a new jewel to life, for the glory of the Ottoman Empire.


End file.
